Well, it is 5 days and counting since Charlie went into the nursing facility. Monday he fell and hit his head and needed stitches, Tuesday he walked all day long with an aide in constant attendance, Wednesday the physical therapist worked with him and had him walking with a walker (some), he had a tendency to walk with it a while and then park it and walk away, Thursday they put him in a merry walker where he was safe but exhausted from sitting up all day, he is used to lying down several times a day but when they put him down he got back up and they would put him in the walker again. Each and everyone of these days he became angry and tried to hit me as soon as he saw me except for yesterday and it took him a few minutes to remember he was mad and I got a kiss before the whack. Today they added a mid day dose of Seroquel and he was quiet and calm (either very tired or sedated I'm not sure which) but he was trying to sleep in the walker and kept falling over. I finally insisted they put him to bed. I would rather see in quiet and calm rather than fighting everything and everyone even if it is from sedation, but I do not like the fact that he is left in the merry walker for so long at a time. I thought placing him would make life easier for both of us but I think this has been the most stressful week of my life. Maybe I need to go to Stunt Girls shin dig tomorrow but I am too tired to cook , can I come without anything?
I believe there must be a reason some facilities suggest that loved ones not come back for a week or so..as the new resident gets acclamated to their new surroundings. That being said, when they have to go to the hospital the first night.. there is no way you can stay away. It's harder on us than the loved ones. We know they are in a dream like state, have no real concept of time, and say things they wouldn't ordinarily say. It's impossible to not feel guilty for placing them. It's a no win situation for us.
It will take them a couple of weeks to adjust to their new surroundings and routine. I does help to stay away for a week or so. If you go every day he will remain dependent on you, he needs to get used to the staff taking care of him. I know this is a difficult time for you, they will find what works best for him. They try to keep him up and socialized.
Most of these issues will be resolved in a few weeks.
I'm there StuntGirl, I'm the one hiding behind the barn eating everything I can get my hands on because I have been too tired to cook and I'm embarrassed that I didn't bring anything. Everything is really good though. I will probably still be sleeping off my food hangover in the morning and won't be able to join you for breakfast.
Got so caught up in all the good food that I forgot to post the most important thing. Spent 4 hours at the nursing facility before hitting the party. It went much more as I had envisioned it when he went in. Even though he is unable to be really responsive, he was quiet and calm. He knew I was there but he did not seem to be so angry with me. We walked some, I held on to one side of the merry walker and when he tired of walking we went and lay down on his bed. I held him close while he had a little nap and when they brought his dinner, I helped him eat. He ate well. They have added a mid day dose of Seroquel and I suppose that has made the difference. Even though it might not have been great, it was the closest thing to quality time that we have had together for a while and I attribute it to the fact that all I had to do was be there and I was not tired and worn out from the constant stress of full time care. Felt much more patient and loving toward him than I have in a while.
Edis what wonderful news that is! maybe the extra dose of seroquel was what was needed for his adjustment. enjoy the 'being' with him now and forget the hard work of all the caregiving stress=things will be better now. divvi
I understand, I think......when I visited John in the nursing home before I brought him home, they would "dose" him with something (wasn't allowed to Know what) and we would lie in bed and cuddle. He was a cutie for me. I think now, if I had some "respite" I would feel better about my situation about having him home with me now. Incidentally, my daughter just called....she and her boyfriend are coming to see me tomorrow and the boyfriend's sister is looking for a place to stay while she is in a "tight spot" for a while. Same stuff I struggle with, NA, AA. This is a "Clean" house, so we're going to talk about her staying in a spare room and being of some help to me (cooking, cleaning, BABYSITTING JOHN) while I can persue my own endevors. Sweet. Well, we'll think about it , anyway. Later, Jen.