When you all talk about hallucinations, exactly what do YOU mean? Last night, John had another of what I call "a hallucination". He woke me up and started yelling that I'd been with a man for the past two hours....now that man was in the back yard and he had called 911 (of course, he didn't). He came downstairs on his own and slept on the couch, presumably to keep guard. Also, I think that the aids and nurses and PT's and OT's that come here are out of their minds suggesting that I help John "find a hobby". I can barely get him to keep his eyes open a few hours a day. (it's not the meds) Can't go anywhere with him without a fight.....he's okay once I get him to where we're going most of the time, though. And personally, (because I'm ranting and venting here), I don't know why I'm giving him the Namenda and the Aricept and trying to keep him around in this state, knowing he's getting worse. This has NOT been a romance made in heaven and I'm so resentful of his ongoing accusations (doesn't he understand that I'm RIGHT THERE in bed at night???? no) Personally, I don't want anyone trying to keep dear ol mom (me) going when my mind is gone and I'm a thorn in the side of my family (presuming I still have any family). I'd rather be left alone and let nature take its course. Ii'm sorry if I ramble sometimes.....some days are simply spent sitting here waiting for some phone call or another. I know I'll catch flack for disclosing how I feel about certain medication. Just tired of fighting and watching him go....knowing he's going.....people trying to keep him going and his not cooperating. Just checking if anyone else feels this way. I want to tell the help that the hospital sends to just forget it. He doesn't want any help anyway and it's a fight to get him up and ready for them to come, when I know they're coming. But, I'm afraid that the Adult Protective Services (which I haven't heard from since I saw my lawyer) will misconstrue my thinking. Guess I'm wicked.
Sometimes I read your posts and wonder if you' don't subconsciously have the low regard for your self as John demonstrates when he is hallucinationg. You DO KNOW that he is hallucinating when he sees men in the yard and in your bed. He is in a dream state, and just as when all of us dream, it looks real for the moment. His eyes are open, but he is asleep and dreaming in his brain. He's having a nightmare, with eyes wide open.
I wish you would take time to spend time with other Alzheimer's Patients, if only for ONE HOUR, and you'ld see that they are ALL EXACTLY like John. I know that when I began visiting Alzheimer'Care facilities, I could not believe how the looks on the faces of the residents and the expression in their eyes were exactly the same as with my DH. Jen, that was MY Ah HA! moment. Ohmygod! They all looked alike.
It is so apparent that you still don't understand that John cannot be brought back to the world of reality..and you continue to want him to ENJOY sitting on the porch, soaking in nature,watching you mow, or join you in a favorite TV show. LET HIM SLEEP, and don't let it bother you. LET HIM lie around and do nothing. It's respite time for you...be glad when he's sleeping and get busy with your housekeeping or art. That's my best time of the day. I love his quiet times....it's when I write, clean, file, talk to friends on the phone..without interruptions.
You validate his hallucinations and accusations when you claim to be wicked. Don't do that! Just learn to go with the flow, PLEASE.
Jen...The first time I realized something was really wrong was one morning he wanted to know what was going on after he went to bed. It seems that an old lady like me was having something going on with the kid across the street. His face was set in a stare and even his eyes were a different color. That was almost 3 years ago and I still get those kind of statements. I know when the questions are coming because of the fixed stare on his face. I have never been unfaithful in 53 years of marriage and in fact behaved myself when I was single. Nobody knows what that did to me because for a long time I didn't know he had alz. I think I started building that wall around my feeling early on in this journey. You need to start building your wall so that things don't hurt as much
The hallucinations my dh had were mostly that he believed there were people in the family room with him, sometimes talking with him and sometimes arguing with him. Sometimes, when they weren't there when he went b ack to the room he would come and ask me which way they went out. He eventually did not watch tv because he also thought those people were in the house with him. Sometimes he would say the cat had done his business on the carpet, right where I was standing, Very strange. I also just understood that he was dying, slowly. So if he wanted to sleep I didn't bother him, I let him lead his life the way that his body needed to. If he didn't want to eat, that was okay too. I felt I was there to watch him do what he needed to do to have peace until his death.
Thank you, Joyce. I've been led, somehow , to feel as though I need to be SuperWoman and be there to lift him up from whatever crevace he was in. Tryin' SO HARD to understand what is going on with his disease. Acceptance is not my strong suit. I FIGHT.
Yes we need to be supergirl over everything else, but the reality is we have no control over the dying process. The tiredness, the inability to eat or drink, the body not using what nutrients they do get in the right way, and the inability to walk because the muscles are gone from his body. You will have more peace when you finally accept that you can't change or fix what the disease is doing to his body and mind . Each day, whatever he is doing, is the best he can do. It is a hard road to be on, because we just want him back the way he was, but that just doesn't happen.
today is definitely a day for reading the post on this site. I am tired, have things to do and my husband is shadowing me. when reading the above post I understand what you are saying Stuntgirl. I have been with my husband for 35 years, the last 3 or so with someone I do not know. even tho my husband was only diagnosed this year with eoad, he began changing 3 years ago. I understand your thoughts. I think your thoughts sometimes. then I think that even tho things are rough today......they will be missed one day when he can no longer do these irritating things. I cry most days and consider the days that I don't extra special. we are young in our journey with ad and don't want to really be without my husband. this is so hard, wanting the way things were, never having them again, wanting it to end, but not wanting to be without the man I love. I thought it was hard being a teenager, haaaaaaaaa. that was easy. sorry for rambling, but so many things are happening so fast..... hang in there and write your heart out. this site is where I come when I can't go anymore. God Bless you and protect you.....
my husband is seeing ghost and spirits when he does sleep. he is having problems sleeping at night but can sleep with no problem during the day. Is this common? it is wearing both him and me out. I only work part time but being disturbed everynight is really tiring us both out. When things get real bad, I give him a few aleve to make him sleep. I don't want to go to the doctor for sleeping pills for him but don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
mammie--talk to his Dr. There are meds to help with the dreams/hallucinations and sleeping. May not need much,but if he can slep, so can you. Also, much safer than "a few aleve".
mammie you will soon learn that drugs can be our friends when we deal with any kind of dementia. if he is not sleeping neither are you and that in itself is extremely hard on you both. when our spouses are ill with this diagnosis sometimes we have to put aside our preconceived notions of not wanting to use certain medications as often as necessary. as the disease progresses so do the meds until the late stages when some may not be necessary. you should speak to his dr and explain how it it and at least hear the options. divvi
thank you both for your comments. I will take the advise and talk to the doctor. things do have a way of going against the way we typically believe. neither me or my husband like to take medicine. now it is the reverse. but if it will help we will try anything. have a great day.......