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  1.  
    I grilled a great t-bone tonight, and fed DW small pieces, especially the tender fillet, but she just chews and chews, and I can't see that she swallows it. Then I look in her mouth a little later, and discover a wad of napkin she's been chewing on. And her nose keeps running clear sn--. She just seems out of it......what's going on?
    • CommentAuthorcarosi*
    • CommentTimeJun 30th 2009
     
    The runny nose could be an allergy, or just doing that. My DH's runs some too. As for the chewing, not sure why--lots of possibilities. One thing you could try is giving her something ediible and chewy--not gum. Try midget tootsie rolls, gummy bears(dinos, et al), soft life savers.

    Others will come along with more to help, but this might be a start.
  2.  
    Texas Joe..stop buying chocolate flavored napkins!
  3.  
    I'd suggest you use cloth napkins..at least for her. They just get so mixed up,bless their hearts. If something is close to the mouth, they eat it. I deal with this every day. Gargles with Aftershave lotion (MY FAULT: Forgot to put it in the drawer)..and on and on.
  4.  
    A wash cloth works good in place of a napking. I buy those cheap white ones at the dollar store and use it wet or dry. Easy to throw in
    the wash with a load of clothes. My Mom would chew and chew, especially meat. My husbands nose runs clear most of the time he is awake.
  5.  
    Great! Now she has 100.1 temp. Looks like a uti possibly. I don't want to make an er trip in the morning. Crap.
  6.  
    Oh Joe, I'm sorry. Just know that she didn't give herself the UTI deliberately. I believe you sound like you need a break.
  7.  
    I am having a sitter over in the morning...supposed to go to my first strength training class. I'll watch her temp. during the night, and if it goes up, give her some Tylenol and call the dr. in the morning. If I miss this class, I have to wait until the next month. Somebody up there hates me.
  8.  
    TJ..quite the opposite...someone up there loves you.
  9.  
    DW's temp varied from 99.1 to 100.6 during the night, so I called the dr., who is slammed today due to going on vacation late in the day. I'm hoping she either fits her in quickly, or calls in an antibio for her. Waiting to hear.
    Yes phranque, I'm blessed in ways you all don't know, but may some day. Canceled the sitter and so no class, but there is always next month. Thanks to all for your support and ideas. We really are a family, aren't we?
  10.  
    After much ado, finally got antibio. Had to get pissed-off in order to get things done, incl. getting a rather limp spouse in and out of the car in the TX heat. What a fun day! And now I've to try to get her to take the med. I quit....i'm going to Alaska where its cool.
  11.  
    Now temp. is up to 101 and she won't (can't) do anything. What the Hell am I supposed to do now? I'm so lonely I want to die.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCarolyn*
    • CommentTimeJul 1st 2009
     
    OH, I feel so bad for you. Do you have any close neighbors that can help you out? Will she eat anything? If things get too bad, I'd call 911.
  12.  
    TJ, I'm so sorry for the way things are going for you right now. Carolyn is right - if it gets too bad, call 911. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. But I really hope she'll settle down tonight and you both can get some sleep. Hugs to you.
  13.  
    TJ, did you get something for your depression?? Until then, when she is asleep, please call the Alzheimer's Association HELP Line, ..someone is always there to talk to you for as long as you want to talk. They've all walked our walk and understand as only we can. There is an 800 number. You need to talk to a live person and they are there for you. The Chapter out of Houston has a website that says: HELPLINE: CALL US ANYTIME - 1.800.272.3900 24 hours, 7 days a week. I double dog dare you to call them!
    .
    • CommentAuthorWeejun*
    • CommentTimeJul 1st 2009
     
    TJoe, will she take something to get the fever down? Bless your heart, wish there was something I could do to help. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. Big hugs to you.
  14.  
    I had some baby food jars on the shelf, so I warmed up one of the dinners so she could swallow something without chewing. That seemed to work o.k., and she did get the med down whole in applesauce, but when I gave her the 2 tylenols, she chewed them up. I guess it doesn't matter...as long as she gets the stuff down. She can't suck on a straw when she is unresponsive like this, so I am giving her the milk (she needs it thickened) by spoon, and I hold her head up (otherwise it hangs down all the time). So at this point, she's had her med and Tylenol, so we'll see what happens tonight. Whatever happens, happens. I just do the best I can.
  15.  
    Texas Joe, sounds like you are doing a great job. Keep taking your anti-depressants. You did start on them didn't you?
  16.  
    No, Imohr, I haven't yet. I am waiting for the results of my fasting blood workup. I asked them for it plus any advice on whether or not any item would affect my starting the med. I still have not heard, so am still waiting, waiting, waiting.
  17.  
    Call them tomorrow and tell them you need something for your stress. They should have enough results back.
    • CommentAuthorcarosi*
    • CommentTimeJul 1st 2009
     
    Around here, general fasting blood results are back to the Dr.s Ofiice in 24 hours. Should have them by now. Call. And start your med. You deserve to feel better and when you do, you'll be able to care for your DW better too.

    If I have much more "help" from DH's family re: the smoking, can I go to Alaska too?
  18.  
    You bet, carosi, I'm tired of being alone. When it starts getting TOO cold though, I'll want to come back. I need to cuddle by a warm fire.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 1st 2009
     
    TJ- you do need to watch and see if DW is urinating tonite. if she hasnt gone within 10hrs you really should consider taking her to ER. they may need to catherter her- the bladder can get so full and with uti cant release the urine flow. and watch the temp.- over 101 -is not good it should come down some with the tylenol you gave. they can go into a tailspin very fast with uti so be vigilant. hope its better tomorrow. divvi
  19.  
    Thanks divvi, I'll watch out.
  20.  
    Temp. down to 99.1, and Depend full of urine, so o.k. so far. Still unresponsive though...I don't like that. Maybe tomorrow will be better for her.
  21.  
    TJ, how long has she had AD...and how long as she been in this stage of the disease. My sister in law reached the point where my dear brother in law had to feed her with a big eyedropper, tickle her throat to get her to swallow, and she lost her eyesight. No one could believe she lived as long as she did - and it was only because he willed her to stay alive. He adored her, but it was so awful seeing her lying in bed in a fetal position, blind and probably deaf, living on Ensure and water he dropped into her mouth. Back to the lovely quotation we read earlier. And as the Corinthians say: "For everything, there is a season..." I wonder how much we as caregivers are expected to do...but yet, as TJ knows, elder abuse is not the answer. ???????????????
  22.  
    Nancy, she does not have AD, she is "brain damaged" with dementia due to cancer surgery and radiation 26 years ago. The last 5 is the bad part due to a seizure that put her in the hosp. for 8 days, then a SNF for 3 months. She is totally dependent, can't stand, feed herself, be understood, or understand. So how long will she live? Nobody knows.
    This morning, temp. is 101.4, but seems slightly more alert. Spoon-fed her water at 3:00 this morning and again around 7:00 to keep her hydrated. I'm fixing breakfast now, so she will get her antibiotic with that.
  23.  
    You are truly an angel! So much to be concerned with. You are very strong and she must have been very loved for you to be able to care for her this way!! I am so sorry this latest problem impacted your plans. It always amazes me when people say, take care of yourself. You have to be well for them". Of course this is true but what seems like such a small thing (your class) is really a big thing because it puts your plans on hold for another month. Yes, we all do it. But, it isn't that we aren't taking care of us it's just that timing in life is everything. Take a deep breath and I hope this passes soon for both of you. God bless.
  24.  
    Now she won't wake up to eat, so I called the dr. to have her admitted to the hosp. They will call me back.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbuzzelena
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    TexasJoe, you are my hero. I think you are a wonderful caregiver. Hang in there.
  25.  
    TJ, you did the right thing by calling the Dr. to have her admitted. You have done all you can, now let the "pros" take over for awhile. I do hope it all works out and you can get some rest.
  26.  
    I've been cleared to start my med...half a pill first 2 or 3 days (all blood work good...cholesterol 129, hdl 60 ldl 52), but still waiting for word on DW hosp. admit. I'm continuing to give her water by spoon and taking temps. She was able to wake up enough to eat about 1/3 her breakfast and take antibio and tylenol before she fell asleep again.
  27.  
    Great!!!!!!. I hope you have already taken 1/2 pill #1. You will soon be amazed at how much better you will feel. If you don't already have xanax I would ask for that also.
  28.  
    Also remember they don't kick in 100% for several weeks, so don't give up. I'm so sorry about the story of your wife. It's so sad. I know you must be exhausted. Let the hospital do for her and get out while she is there. You need to stretch your legs and stretch your mind for just a little while. You are amazing.
  29.  
    Amazing..no, terrific..maybe. Dr. said they can't get her admitted except thru ER, but she is doing a little better, bit by bit. Fixed us chicken noodle soup, and give her mostly liquid. Fed her milk by spoon...slow, slow process, but she did o.k. Temp. still around 100. If she improves, good; if she goes in the other direction, I'll take her to the ER. Thanks for all your comments and support. You people ARE amazing!
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    TJ- i have always been told not to give milk when a person has fever even a 100deg. the curdling effect and mixing with gastric juices can form excess bacterias and make infections harder to eliminate. i think it may be better with her uti to give her gatorade or pedialyte in sips to keep up her electrolytes. this will help with hydration. broths soups are good -maybe cracker if she will eat them. toast? i would keep it simple but no milk products just yet. with the antibiotics you will need to give her some solids maybe a toasted ham sandwich and a cup of peaches or applesauce. my opinon of course only. divvi
  30.  
    Divvi, what if the milk is non-fat? That's all we drink. Isn't it the fat that has to do with the curdling? She takes all her pills with applesauce and usually eats more of it. The problem with anything solid right now is I have to watch to see that she really swallows it or just chews it to death and spits out what's left. (In other words doesn't really swallow anything solid). The more alert she is, the more normal is the solid food eating. And I'm not sure at this point if it is a uti now, or something else. I need to test with the AZO kit. Hard to do with Depend pants and no stream.
    Thanks for the help.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009 edited
     
    i dont know about the non fat milk. if it were me, i would try not to use milk products period and see if it helps. the gatorade will keep her eletrolytes up and has some potassium too if shes dehydrated. if she is not drinking enough liquids the only way to hydrate her enough to get her out of the listnessness may be IV fluids. no matter whether infection or uti she seems quite ill if she cant hold her head up. even small infections and any amount of fever will send these folks into oblivion.

    my DH has had many infections where taking him to get hydrated by IV and antibiotics via intravenous was the only way to bring him out of whatever infection is was. and after that usually the 10day regimen of antibiotics on top of that.

    the bad part is the holiday weekend is coming and the ER will be horrible everywhere. and drs are not easily found. if she is still non responsive after a few doses of antibiotics, you may need to rethink the ER visit.
    divvi
    ps if you havent tested uti with the strip or cant the only other way to know for sure is they will catheter her and get a sample at ER.
  31.  
    Yeah, funny how these things come up usually on weekend or holiday times, isn't it? Oh, and we don't have any gatorade type of drinks around, and the only way to go to the store is to load her in the car and take her into the store too, with me. Lots of fun for her and me too in this heat. Life likes to make it tough, doesn't it?
    • CommentAuthorShanteuse
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    TJ, are there any grocery stores there that will deliver? In many places there are such things. You could search on the internet, because they usually make it possible to order from their website.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009 edited
     
    or if you can get her into the car in back seat and put child locks onyou can usually find gatorade at 7-eleven type stores which is much easier to see her from the store? i would get several to last the weekend just in case. and since you have her on antibiotics and you can get them down, she may pull out of it without the ER but only if you make sure shes getting enough fluids. even with antiobitics if no fluids they will get worse quickly. wishi could do more TJ to help you out. divvi
  32.  
    No Shanteuse, I researched that earlier this year with the thought of doing all my grocery shopping online. Not here.

    Dr. divvi, I bought a 2-door Solara so I could have more space to get her in and out of the car. So no child locks. That is a good idea, though, 'cause it allows me to get right up close to the store (like I do at Braum's for milk) where I can see her and also get in and out of the store quickly. Thanks!
    • CommentAuthorscs
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    Hey guys jumping in..have not read all of posts..but have you tried popsicles? Milk was not given with a fever as it tended to upset stomach and cause vomiting. Also, try tylenol supositories....
  33.  
    She won't eat anything cold, scs. Used to, of course, but not any more. And so far, she can take the tylenol in applesauce, even tho' just a little earlier, she swallowed the first one whole, but then chewed the second one. Go figure! And yuk!
  34.  
    We have a few drive through places here. Usually a service station with a drive through window and they will bring your things to your car and take your money. Also, they might sell you gateraid at a drive through drug store if you explain your situation. Around here drug stores carry groceries and dairy products.
    • CommentAuthorscs
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    As long as she is tolerating the milk...no vomiting...and as long as the antibiotic label doesn't say no milk products...then go for it. I am sure you tried jello. If the temp is coming down and she is voiding, then it sounds like you are on the right track...good job! As for the medication you are taking....not sure if you mentioned what kind somewhere, the pill I started on made me very shaky in the beginning the MD warned me to hang in for 2 weeks and she was right. I now feel all the thoughts and feelings we are supposed to feel but I am not weepy and "at the end of my rope".

    Is it time to talk to your doctor or another professional resource egarding end of life issues? Just a thought. Please take care of yourself.
  35.  
    Texas Joe. You might call the courtesy counter where you shop and see if they could gather the items you need for you, and call you when they are ready...then you cud zip in and out..I know our Publix store here did that once for me when I could not get dw out of the house...they were great...
    Try calling...you wud be surprised....
  36.  
    Great ideas one and all! Thanks!
  37.  
    At 5:00 this morning, we made a trip to the ER. Temp. was 102 at 4:00, so I decided it was time to go. Her admitting bp was like 50/30....not good. But when I left to come home and take out the trash and get some breakfast, it was normal. We lucked out...only patient in the ER, so lots of service. I've got my Stephanie Plum novel to go back with, so when I'm through eating, I'll go back. I will sign on again when I come home again, probably for lunch.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2009
     
    TJ- i am glad you took her in. from all my hounding you yesterday aka Dr Divvi:( i could see it was a much concern her listlessness and ability to ingest fluids. the low BP was dehydration more than likely- that was quite low BP by the way. who knows if you had waited any longer.
    glad the ER was slow -
    let us know how she is doing, with iv fluids and antibiotic drip she will be up and home soon. good for you, take care, divvi