http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/AlzheimersNews/story?id=7961176&page=1 go to this link to read about tonights program. The article also talks about a 'Virtual Dementia Tour' Leaves Participants Frustrated but Sympathetic' . Sounds interesting. Maybe something for all those who refuse to believe the diagnosis.
Started watching primetime midway into the program. Saddest part is how much these people do not know about this disease!! I guess I think everyone out there is like us-always looking for info and answers to our struggles. While I understand the frustration, I do not understand why they did not seek help from someone- anyone including gvt agencies. We all understand the financial problems but to move away and leave her alone in an apt by herself- my God!!. I understand when the wife says she is not a nurse but I believe that if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. Thank God the sister came to her rescue!! Maybe we have finally had enough of an impact for tv to do more specials to bring this disease to the front burner. We need to continue the pressure on our legislative people to keep this alive. We desparately need their help. Maybe it's time we started a letter campaign or petition. Any other thoughts??
Moved from my first post: I'll cancel it if I can since we were obviously writing about this subject at the same time!!
I absolutely HATE this program. I could not believe the way the son and wife treated this poor woman. I am totally convinced that they just used her money and conveniently forgot where it came from!! It is apparent that the son and his wife embezzled money from LaWanda for their own benefit, and now there is not enough money to pay for her care. THAT, my friends, should be a felony crime.
Good, Nancy. I was thinking I might copy your post here if I could. I think I agree with both Nancy and Kathryn. The couple did treat his mother very poorly. I thought the wife was a spoiled brat. I think Kathryn hit it right on - why didn't they try to learn anything about AD or to get help. The situation with his just having gotten married and to that particular woman complicated matters. But finally there was a program that really showed what Alzheimer's can be and how difficult caregiving is. I was so disappointed in the Alzheimer's Project, because it seemed so bland - no real problem behaviors and no caregivers who weren't cheerful and happy. This seemed more realistic.
I agree it was elderly abuse! I'm surprised they weren't charged with anything or that the woman wasn't removed from their care by the people who investigated!
The son even admitted he took the money from the sale of the house she helped them buy (or bought) and reinvested it in the Alpine house. And..all of the checks he wrote after she didn't live with them and noted: Room and Board etc. That's embezzlement. I am sure that goes on more than people know...but with all we do and with our dedication and diligence, it just makes me sick! I agree, Janet, why on earth isn't there an agency that will step in on behalf of impared elders and defend them when this happens.
I emailed ABC thanking them for doing the show saying we can use all the exposure to bring awareness of this horrible disease we can get. I also said I was very surprised that these people did not educate themselves about AD nor find support. That having a husband just diagnosed I have been searching everywhere I can to be educated.
I was shocked when he left his mom alone in her home not checking to make sure she took her meds or ate and totally isolating her. When she moved in with her sister, she improved a lot.
There is a post under the articles on ABC from a granddaughter who tells more of the story and how horrible her uncles are.
This program was very disturbing. I find no excuse for doing zero research into the nature of what this poor woman was going through. There are just too many resources available at this point to "do nothing". I agree that the saving grace was when the sister showed up and took over. I feel that the the son and his new wife were neglectful and, worse than that, cruel. When adults act like little children, people suffer. I can only hope that this show turned on a light bulb for others who might find themselves in a similar situation.
Where were the Adult Protection Services. I didn't see the show but it seems like they should have been alerted somewhere along the line. Some people must have known what was going on and how did the TV media find out about this poor lady to be able to do the show?
I wateched Primetime last night and was shocked. I understand that this disease can get frustrating but there is no excuse for not getting any information on this disease. His mother should of been taken away along time ago. Thank God for her sister. She is now being taken care of. The sister should go to court to get the money back!
see that`s what alot of people think about alz. it is just a memory thing and the one with alz. can function and do everthing else, i was under that impression myself until dh was dx then i did alot of reading wow what a shocker. I agree they should have found out more on the disease and if they couldn`t handle it than find the resourses that are out there. To leave her alone was unthinkable and gruel, what a wonderful sister god bless her.
I don't believe they were at all interested in the woman's diagnosis, they never said Alzheimers. Wife called poor woman a schizo..and insane. Husband never corrected her. When she was filmed alone in the apartment eating cold soup, The entire treatment was inhumane! They cared more for their DOG than her. When the investigative reporter talked with the husband, after the story was filmed and discussed it, he showed some remorse, however - he NEVER called her even after being told she had been diagnosed with breast cancer..and she was living 100 miles away. He was a weak and horrible son.
As horrifying as the show was, I agree that the vast majority of people are under the assumption that Alzheimer's Disease is a "memory" problem for old people and that they are just being stubborn and mean if they don't cooperate and perform at their previous level. Without sounding mean, the family did not seem very educated about anything...much less a devastating problem like AD. This is why when a loved one is diagnosed with a dementing illness there should be some sort of education about the disease...much like sending a newly diagnosed diabetic to a dietician. The family or the caregivers should be required to attend and get their eyes opened about what to expect. Of course, it all boils down to the lack of funding for basic medical needs much less something as abstract as dementia education. This woman had prescription drugs, so she must have seen a physician.....someone had to take her there....again, we probably have a physician who doesn't "get" it. Oh, it is so frustrating......
What is distressing is the fact that the people who need to watch this program most surely did not....all of us who are or were in the trenches are the ones most interested.
On the later program, Nightline, they outfitted the reporter and the son with earphones and special glasses and sent them out to perform five tasks,,.. to better understand how it feels to have Alzheimer's Disease - and how difficult it is to function simple tasks.
The son "got it", but still didn't follow through and visit his mother. To make matters worse, he and his brother scheduled a visit with their mother and simply stood her up. Despicable.
I thought that 'alzheimer experience' was a good idea and an eye opener. As I said, if you go to ABC site and read comments, you will find one from her granddaughter. It made the situation even sadder.
I would encourage everyone to go to the article site about the show and email ABC thanking them but ask for a more educational show or one on EOAD. We have a good start with the two programs (HBO & ABC), now lets keep it going.
I had taped the show before knowing the subject. When we started to watch it last night, I realized it was about Alzheimer's and I told my husband I didn't think we should watch it. He quickly said OK. Then I watched it later after he was asleep. I was appalled at the way that son treated his mother, and his wife was awful! Even if they had only been married for 5 weeks and she didn't know what she was in for, if I loved my husband, I would gladly love and care for his mother. Three cheers for the sister who stepped up to the plate!
From the comments from the granddaughter her dad, uncle and step mom are very selfish. That explains their abusive treatment of her. What i don't understand: is getting the story more important than protecting the mother? Why did the production company not report to authorities that she was in danger (starting fires??)? They should be held accountable as 'aiding and abating the enemy'.
It bothered me that the experts on the show did not step in and educate the son, get the family some help. We've all told others to call this office, that organization, at least the Alz Assn, but they did nothing for them. I really don't think the son & wife knew what they were dealing with and in the beginning I felt the son did his best & while his bride was bratting, being pushed into taking care of a new MIL, a stranger, w/AD & not knowing the first thing about it is prety daunting. Knowing myself, I think I would have called someone, somewhere and got help, why they didn't I can't say, but some people are like that. I would not have signed on to be her CG & while my own MIL was OK, it would not have worked. Same w/my own mother, but I could have cared for my dad. I know that I myself have hesitated to visit sick people w/certain conditions, we've all heard the story about children who don't visit, it's not unusual. The sister said she didn't know how long she could do it, and as the woman gets worse, it will be harder, & she's elderly. When they were bth elderly, my MIL took in her sister to care for her, but as they both aged, she could not do it. There was a whole battery of people to help this family. Do you think any of them did?