I feel so frustrated latley. I have jumped through all the hoops and done the necessary things to put our lives in some sort of order but nothing is happening. Johns name is on a waiting list for a new nf closer to home but they haven't opened yet pending state inspection. Where will home be 6 months from now? Our condo has been on the market for 7 months. I've made applications for several jobs but should I take a job knowing at some point medicaid will take my earnings towards Johns keep? I've seen a bankruptcy atty. and he said I'm not to that point yet. I can't close our joint checking acct. because Johns pension and ss checks are direct deposit. I have an interview with medicaid on July 13th. I understand it can take several months for a determination. In the meantime John is running out of his 100 days provided by ss and supplemental ins. The bankruptcy atty. suggested letting our place go to foreclosure. UGH, what an awful thought. His reasoning is the foreclosure will take about 14 months and during that time I can sock away the money.I would probably realize more money that way than by selling. I am starting a small housecleaning business so I can earn under the table but it's slow-going there too. John is a salaried retiree from GM so even his pension isn't a given. I so long for the days when we shouldered our burdens together. Humor and optimisim got us through many rough patches.I can admit this to you dear friends. There are times I want to throw my clothes and my little dog in the car and just start driving to who knows where. Thanks for the vent session. Hugs to all. cs
cs-your vent is why we are here. Bankruptcy and forclosure aren't the end of the world. My daughter had to do both and wound up as a feature story in Kiplinger's magazine. Big problem with bankruptcy is that you will not be able to get a credit card. My daughter was able to get a Capitol One card with a small credit limit. I was able to get her as a user on my Visa. Keep your joint checking so you can deposit checks made out to your husband. If you do qualify for medicaid it is my feeble understanding that once it kicks in it will be retroactive to the time you applied, Hope Jane comes along with more info. I am sorry for us all.
Oh, cs, I can understand why you are feeling frustrated. I didn't know that Medicaid could take the spouse's earnings. That seems unreasonable, can someone verify that who knows? I know all retirees at GM are worried, let's hope the bail out works in your favor. I also didn't know that foreclosure took that long. Seems before the real estate market tanked, people only had a few months. Is it possible to reduce the price to move the condo more quickly? They say that if you are the lowest priced in comparable houses, yours will move soon. People are really bargain hunting these days. I'm hooked on HGTV, and that channel gives excellent tips for staging your house for sale. NO personal photos anywhere, NO clutter, show space in your closet, not have it packed, remove frilly stuff, paint neutral colors. If you don't get that channel, maybe google staging a home for sale. Some people even put some furniture in storage to make the place look bigger. I did that, & it looked a lot more spacious. Let us know how things are going, I'm wishing you a lot of luck! I think everyone understands about longing for the days when your partner was "present" to share in the burdens. Try your best to be optimistic, even though it is now all on your shoulders and I know you are feeling overwhelmed.
From what I hear, people keep one "good" credit card & don't claim that one during bankruptcy. Then you don't have to establish credit again with that credit card company.
cs, I so feel for your frustration which for me has been as tough to handle as the grief and sadness. The not knowing what to do and the time frames and the economy making it all worse and more frustrating. And not being able to talk it over with the person you used to make the decisions with. Grr.... I don't have any answers with regard to the financial stuff like Jane does, but I can empathize with your frustration at trying your best to get everything in order. Sounds like you should be pretty proud of yourself for getting to where you are now. That wasn't easy.
I had to leave our joint bank account opened too, for the very same reason. However, I set up another account in just my name. Then as I need, I just transfer from the joint account to my account. Other than that, I stopped using the joint account. I am sorry that things are tough for you just now. Hang in there!
cs, the problem with earning under the table is that when you start to draw social security you will draw less because you did not have those earning credited to your account. I did a lot of free lance bookkeeping and and my husband was paid for it. My check each month is very small. Big mistake.
I know that medicaid laws vary from state to state but we live in PA and my husband is going into a facility in WV. My income does not count. In fact if I do not make what is considered the minimum state income(and I don't) I can even keep some of his social security to meet my needs. I even get to keep our joint savings and our house. The house is exempt and the community spouse or "well spouse" can also keep the first $20,000 in assets (per WV law).
When you file bankruptcy the only credit cards you loose are any included in bankruptcy. When we filed we only had one with a balance that we included. We kept the other three. It took 3 years before American Express ran a credit check and lowered our credit balance.
Bluedaze: You're right about medicaid. John would be classified "medicaid pending" until a determination is made then they would pay retroactive.Whew. I've heard that after bankruptcy you can get a pre-paid credit card and after about 2 years of responsible use your credit begins to return. Thanks Kitty: I too am hooked on HGTV. I've already lowered the price as far as I can. My house is plain anyway so no big deal there. My agent said there is nothing more I can do to make the place more sellable. Just crappy economic times for sellers. Thanks for your input. terry: Thanks for the encouragement. You made me realize I have come along way in a short period of time. I am woman.I am strong. lol Thanks gmaewok: Good advice! I'll do that this week. Thanks Bama: Johns SS is so much more than mine will ever be. I will be much better collecting his. I won't be able to collect for anything for 8 years anyway. Thanks ehamilton: Ohio medicaid law is similar to yours except the community spouses income is counted as a joint asset. I too will receive an allowance from Johns SS and pension. The remainder will go for his care. If I have reportable income it will be allocated for Johns care not for me. This is somewhat understandable. IF I had a six figure income why should the state taxpayers (us) be responsible for nursing home fees. Ohio law allows you just enough to stay above the poverty line without the option of improving your own circumstances. What can you do? Thanks StuntGirl: How are YOU? Charlotte: We have several credit cards "not in use." Good advice. Thanks
Thanks to all of you I feel very encouraged today.
cs..check your credit cards not in use...I had about 5 that I never used....recently checked them and found that they were "deactivated" due to non useage.
Very true, phranque. I got a letter from one of mine that I hadn't used in months/years. Told me if I didn't use it by a certain date it would be canceled. Didn't need it - so let them cancel it. It's only in DH's name anyway. I have my own.
Now that I have had a bit of time to gather our bills and really pay attention to them, I realize just how deep I'm sinking into the wet cement. I've consulted with a debt consolidator, and even she recommended bankruptcy. I still need a new roof, new storm doors and a few other items that were destroyed by mold. I'm going to try to hold on long enough to get them and then look for an attorney who can help me get out of this mess. She did say, that I should be treated very well, given my unusual circumstances. All I could think of, when she said this, was of all of my fellow caregivers, struggling along, day to day, just trying to survive. Ok, I feel better now that I've "said it out loud."
Susan L--you do what you have to do. I felt awful when we had to go the bankruptcy route, but was told by the Debt counselor there is nothing bad with this when it comes from circumstances beyond your control. I was told the ones they do take issue with are the folks who live beyond their means and use bankrptcy as their financial management tool--sometimes repeatedly. Also, look into Home Repair assistance. There are programs in most areas to help lower income homeowners, especially with health related housing issues(mold). Check Local Housing Comunity Development Office, and always end your call with the question: Can you suggest anyplace else I should call or any other way I should approach this?
Does anyone have any experience with getting what you really need before filing? I desperately need a new roof, a new ceiling to replace the moldy one, storm doors, a new kitchen ceiling etc.
Susan L-- Most all communities are involved with programs to maintain the housing quality of their area. They receive monies from the Housing and Community Block Grants from the Governemment. They have programs for low income people to be able to fix up their homes. Call your local ho
using authority. Check also with your bank about programs. Also check with Habitat for Humanity--you probably won't fit their programs, but they could likely know what Organizations you could fit with. Also, check with your local Vets groups. They sometimes help with projects like yours, or know of resources.
In our area we Habitatfor Humanity has a "store" where the sell xcess materioakls from their housing projects for nominal fees, as does our local Home Repair services oganization. Home Repair gets their materials as donations from builders in the area--the left overs. I've seen interiordoors priced between $5-25. Both stores handle everything you could possily need.