Oh yes...very familiar. I do keep all the travel docs, and such. This of course (as far as Jeff is concerned,) is perfectly in keeping with my ever-growing "control-freak" personality. (It's interesting how his brother with whom he ran a business was also a control-freak. Actually, Jeff finds that most people in his life are control-freaks.)
Before AD, when we had a plane to catch, Jeff would invariably decide--10 minutes before they started boarding--that he needed to walk a quarter-mile down the corridor to look at the bookshop. This of course drove me insane, and I took to making sure that he did have possession of his own ticket, carry on, and boarding pass, because I was going to get on that plane even if he didn't. Nowadays, I must keep the docs, and keep him in sight, which sometimes means standing outside the mens' room entryway. And sometimes I say "they're going to board in 5 minutes," even if I know that it'll really be 30 minutes.
More disconcerting have been the several recent trips he's taken solo to visit his brother across the country. I make sure he has his boarding pass, and that the gate number is written large. Then I watch him go through security from as close as I can get. Then I hope for the best, and trust his brother to be attentive at the other end. So far so good.
We will be going on a trip to Italy with a Senior's group this fall and I know I am going to have to be much more vigilant than last time in order not to lose him. Hopefully I can quickly connect with some seemingly empathetic people to helpkeep track of my husband but then he is pretty good at staying close to me. He should do well with the language, which is his first language and is increasingly creeping into his conversation. He is so looking forward to it and I hope for the best. I will keep all important documents with me and of course the credit card. He has not handled money for some time so I won't have to worry about that. Has anyone else had experience with overseas travel with a LO with AD?
Besides the AD, Sid is very unsteady on his feet, due to the severe neuropathy from his diabetes. Therefore, travel and tourism is going to be extremely limited from now on. That is why we decided to try the short cruise in January. We figured we would unpack once, and if he didn't feel up to shore excursions, there would be plenty to keep him busy on the ship.
It's an Alzheimer's Cruise - more about it in a later blog, but we will be with people from our support group, so we will all feel comfortable. There will also be a social worker with us.
We never have traveled overseas, and I'm not about to start now, between his AD and his diabetes, we're staying close to home. No regrets, though. When we were first married, we decided not to put off traveling until we were older, so we have seen a lot. The highlight of my life was swimming with the dolphins in Discovery Cove in Florida. Joel lived in Hawaii for three years, so we went to Hawaii three summers in a row.
Today is packing day for the RI trip. Ugh! I hate packing.
We took two trips to Europe the first three years after diagnosis. We stayed in apartments and had train passes. It helped to come back to the same place each night. I did take care of all the documents and all arrangements. He did very good on the trips and loved traveling. We traveled as long as we could and he wanted to go on more trips after I felt it was not in our best interest We went to our daughters on a plane for Christmas this last year. It was so confusing for him, decided that would be the last airplane trip, especially since he has failed so much since then. Travel as much as you can, while you can. They won't remember, but you will have those memories. Darlene
My husband, Paul, has never travelel by airplane anywhere in US or abroad. I have traveled back and forth to Fla routinely over the years, because my sister lives there and I live in OH. My sister and I went to Israel two years ago. Paul always took me to the airport, parked in short term parking. We would spend some time together at airport, eating, drinking cofee, etc, until my flight left and he would always pick me up at airport on return trip.- about 50 miles from our hometown. LAST WEEK, Paul and I went to the airport to pick up my sister who was flying to OH for a visit. HE WAS SO CONFUSED. Once we actually got into the terminal, he broke out in a sweat, said he had to go to the bathroom, was visibly confused...almost panicky. I assurred him he was OK, had him sit down to rest, ect. He admitted that he did not remember ever being at the airport in his life. He said nothing looked familiar. He was totally confused with all the people, the noise, the loud speaker announcemnts.....the whole scene, I believe scared him. He refused to let me push him in a wheelchair....not sure why. We arrived home safely, with my sister. I can not imagine traveling with him any long distance, even in a car. I am blessed because we too, took lots of trips within the US, Mexica and Canada over the past 30 yrs. of marriage and I have a lot of wonderful memories. We discuss these trips sometimes now, he still remembers some of these trips and laughs at some of the experiences we had. But he wasn't laughing at the airport last week.
I'm getting more nervous as I read your comments! I also hate flying which is even more difficult without the support of my DH. I hope he can manage the bathroom and doesn't lock himself in- all these things are giving me sleepless nights and have me wondering if I made the right decision. We recently went to a dinner theatre with a buffet and I noticed confusion even there but he stuck very close to me and I think he will do so on the trip. Physically we are both in pretty good shape and enjoy walking, so once we get over there we should be fine. We are not going till October so I have lots of time to worry. Will report on the adventure (hopefully all good) upon our return.
You have enough to do without spending a whole month worrying. Just make sure you are well prepared with all of the documents in an organized bag. Right before the trip, assure hubby that all he needs to do is stick with you, and everything will be fine. If there is a tour organizer, alert him to your husband's condition. Then go and have a good time.
We're traveling in October also. A visit to our son and daughter-in-law in San Francisco.
I'm going to try to add a picture-sharing section on the website - will have to talk to technical son about it. If anyone wants to share vacation pictures or any pictures.
inge, My apologies if my comments put you in "worry mode." I believe one main reason why Paul was so afraid is because recently he has had increased problems with walking. He also has tremors and has fallen four times in the past month. You said your husband was in good shape and enjoys walking. Plus. he sticks close to you. This is ALL on the positive side. Don't worry about the bathrooms. There are plenty of airport employees that will go in and check on you hubby if he is there for longer than you think is reasonable. I'm sure on your tour, everyone will take you and hubby under their wing and watch out and help. HAVE A WONDERFUL trip and enjoy everything.
Since Bill's diagnosis, we have gone to Hawaii, flew to San Francisco and driven to Chicago and Louisville, Ky. Hawaii was our first trip and we went with our daug. and SIL (their treat). Bill had some confusion at the airport but at that time he would do anything I said without any auguement. He didn't like having to remove his belt and shoes but I told him before we got to security and he was ok by the time we got there.
In San Francisco (again our daug. and SIL's treat) he was unable to do much walking and we got a wheel chair for him. He still wanted me to stay close to him. One night while there, he thought I was his girl friend and his wife didn't want to come. That lasted until about noon the next day. We have a great SIL and he took over pushing the wheel chair and stayed with Bill so our daug. and I could have a few minutes alone.
We did make arrangements to have a wheel chair available at the airport
I find now that it is easier to drive when we go some where. I forgot we did take a train to Chicago and had no problems. On car trips, it is usually a very quiet ride. I usually leave right after his morning pills and he usually sleeps most of the way. Our longest car trip has only been 6 hours. When he first started forgetting things, he would forget where we were going and get angry at me because I didn't tell him where we were going. They when we got there, I would start telling him where we were and he would get angry at me because "I know where we are".
Now that he has no concept of time, we are able to stay a couple of weeks instead of just a few days. I tell him we just got there and will only be staying a couple of days. He's fine with that.
I don't hesitate on the car trips but at this time I wouldn't dream of flying or travel iby any other means.
My husband finally confided that all the excuses he kept coming up with as to why we could not take a trip to Oregon was actually because he was very worried about not being in his own home. That we have the night lights and the bathroom is a big issue for him these days. too.. Anyhow it is not the same for everyone...So you may do just fine Inge Take Care Renee
Go on your trip Inge. We spend so much time worrying about things that might happen that we don't enjoy what is happening. We seem to always fear the worse and it never happens. You are going with a group and there will always be people around to help you
It would probably be a nice to trave with couples who are going through the same thing. Everyone knows what you're going through and everyone would be watching out for each other.
Something that happened to Bill and I one time when we stayed in a motel. I always make sure the bathroom light stays on at night so he can find it if he gets up. One night he got up and wasn't sure where the bathroom was so I told he to go to the door with the light shining under it. After I said this I remembered that the door leading to the hallway also had a light shining under so I thought maybe I should get up and show him where to go. I make sure the door leading out is always locked, bolted and secured in every way possible so he can't get out, just in case.
Thanks for your support everyone. I guess what worries me in addition to other stuff is that judging by the last trip we took with this particular travel agency geared to seniors, is that all the people were highly educated, very interesting conversationalists and generally very with it. I'm afraid they will be bored with us! I am a very light sleeper so if hubby gets up I will be right there. He does sometimes get up to the bathroom and may be confused intially but I will get up with him and he should be fine. Enough of this worrying. I will report back upon our return.
My husband and I took a trip to Germany a few months ago. One of the most stressful parts of the trip was the restroom situation. I would worry every time that I went into a bathroom that he would disappear by the time I came out; especially in a crowded airport. I would see him peering in anxiously everytime someone came in and I would try to make eye contact with him while I waited in line. While we were on the plane, I knew he wouldn't disappear, but his stress escalated on the way home and by the second leg of the trip it became a huge issue. He was panicking everytime I had to go and turning the door handle while I was in there. I think he just got really tired (we were on about 20 hours w/o sleep). Luckliy I had some low dose anti-anxiety med that the dr. had given him and gave him one of those. As far as when he had to go, I finally figured out (through my jet-lagged fog) that life would be a lot easier if I just went and stood outside. He wasn't locking the door and a few people walked in on him, also the doors are a little tricky to manipulate and that was hard for him. I still don't really have a good solution for this little life event. I have noticed that there are some places that provide "family restrooms" and I havent checked those out yet.
I've decided that my going to the bathroom was more worrysome than him going. At least when he went I could watch the door and see him come out. When I go, I'm like you and I worry because he might walk away and get lost. When we go out to dinner with the kids, it's amazing but one of the boys always has to go at the same time Bill does.
Beth, I wa planning on doing what you suggested on the plane, that is to stand outside the washroom door while hubby is in there. That way he won't have to deal with those tricky closers. Thankfully he has an amazing bladder and may not have to go in the plane at all! This will be more of an issue when we are out sightseeing and have to go to separate places but I will ask someone from our group to keep an eye on him.
I am so thrilled to see that you are all still traveling. We just came back from a 3 week sojourn to Florida. We cruised out of Miami with my daughter and SIL and the 3 kids. I kept all the docs, and he was fine. The airline misplaced our luggage, and he didn't even know it. Cruises are great because you only unpack once and the room becomes familiar. I didn't let him walk around the ship by himself, it was so huge, and I used one of those waterproof things you put around your neck with his room key in it and a note as to the room number, just in case he got separated from me. The one day he didn't get off the ship, he stayed in the room, I just put a do not desturb sign on the door. When we got back from the cruise, friends who live in Florida picked us up and we stayed a week with them. then flew home . We plan on taking a cruise in February with 3 couples from our church. The one thing I don't want to do is travel alone, just the 2 of us. It's a little less stressful to have some other people who know our situation with us. I don't feel so anxious. We were in South America last year (a cruise) and anytime he needed to use the rest room, our friend would go with him, to ensure he wouldn't get lost. Otherwise, If I go, I sit him down and tell him not to move, and mostly, he does. We traveled with our dog and his job was carrying the dog, so that kept him busy. We have so little time left while we can still enjoy things, I say do it now... or you won't do it later.