okay when an how do you take the check book an credit cards away,she can't drive so I'm kinda safe there but she loses(hides) her purse several times a day,says people are coming into house an taking money out of it thats why she hides it,yesterday my wallet turned up missing along with her purse,when I found the purse my wallet was in it,now my check book is playing hide an seek,of course she doesn't know how any of this happens,her son came over last night an told me she had called his father an told him she needed a ride? ex called son an told him to check on her,she then told son that I had taken $11,000 out of her account,living in another world for sure I just don't know how much more of this behavior I can handle,I know alot of you have it a lot worse but this is driving me up the wall
Get a lock box for stuff you don't want her to get her hands on. If you feel you need to call your credit card company and report your card "lost" and they will issue you a new one with a new number. Keep it in your lock box, too
Maybe take her cards and checkbook out of the purse when she's sleeping. Secure them where she cannot get them. Your wallet needs to be in your pocket or secured where she cannot find it/get to it. If she notices and says somebody robbed her -- you can agree with her. Perhaps "fake" a call to the companies to have the cards replaced. Since the media says keeping long-term cards open is good for ones credit rating I would try to keep the cards you have and not have to get new ones if possible. I don't know why but the "money" thing seems to be a real problem with this disease.
One more suggestion. My husband still has real cards in his wallet. I scanned all of them and I've got the scans saved and printed out as well. I got the credit card out of his wallet a while ago, and he doesn't seem to realize he doesn't have it. He still has an ATM card, but he used it once to buy something totally reasonable when he was out with the guys about 6 months ago. At this point I think he can still sign his name, but that will go pretty soon, so having the card isn't going to mean much.
If he loses the wallet, I have the scans, front and back of every card and can get duplicates.
Well, here is what I did....I put expired credit cards in his wallet so that he couldn't use them. (I also made an "I have Alzheimer's Disease. Please call my wife, Mary, at ______" card and put in his wallet.) I made sure he had $20 or less in small bills - no more. And the checks were hidden and locked away and I had the checkbook. You will need to have a small lock box or safe (Walmart or Sam's have them) to put your checkbook, wallet, extra cards and good or precious jewelry in - if you want to protect your financial situation. Some spouses (spice) have gone out and spent thousands. One even bought a new car. Couldn't get out of that contract afterwards either. Others have ordered on the internet - (oh, boy!) AND another thing -tell the local bank the situation so that should she get hold of a check or come in and try to order more, they will be alerted to your situation and work with you.
One lady gave him the money before going to a restaurant so that he could still "pay for dinner" and keep up the idea of his treating her to dinner.
You have to figure out what will work best for you. You can start with Starling's suggestion if your wife is still able to handle the cards and money, and when she gets worse, move on to bluedaze, weejuns, and my suggestions! <grin>
So far I haven't had that issue. However you might want to think about taking her off your checking account. Do you have DPOA? Is it filed at the bank? I agree with Weejun, secure your cards, check book, etc in an area where you know it is. I also make sure my husband has money in his wallet. He always has a $20 and it seems to sufice for now.
When I took away the credit cards, I filled my husband's wallet with the frequent shopper cards from grocery stores, expired stuff, etc. so it wouldn't be so noticeable. I agree with giving cash under $20. I've put aside several bills we had left over from a trip to the Dominican Republic--they look very close to $20 bills--plan to substitute them for the real money later on. You could probably use Monopoly money at some point as well.
I scanned all of my DH's cards, membership cards and put them in his billfold. I have the originals in a safe place. I keep his insurance cards in my billfold. He hides his all the time and we have to look for it. I was afraid he would have to go the hospital or ER and I his cards would be hidden somewhere. He's happy...
I confiscated my hubby's cards after his "stuff" was found in a dress-pants pocket by our dry cleaners...they saved them for me & I didn't even know they were missing until I picked up the pants. That said, hubby didn't know they were gone either...still doesn't. I always carry his id, medical cards, etc. with me in my purse. It works for us.
I had to chuckle when I read some of your comments.
In all our 38 years, even tho we had joint bank accounts, credit cards etc, I don't think Claude wrote more than a half a dozen checks or used his credit card more than a handful of times. In fact, even before we got married, every payday, he handled me his bills and checkbook and I wrote the checks and he signed them!! I always handled our finances and he didn't know if we had a dollar in the bank or a thousand.
About six months before he passed away, our daughter took him to the barbershop for a haircut while I was at the dentist. Thinking he would like to pay, she gave him a $20 bill. He went up to the register, gave Donna the money and waited for his change. He took the change and hurriedly put it in his wallet. Normally, the change left over was for Donna's tip. When he passed away, that $3 was still tucked away in his wallet.