Yesterday, Fathers Day, I heard a message about family leadership that made me think the whole time about the role of a spousal Caregiving. It was given by a Christian pastor so we won’t be able to discuss it here. But, I thought you could look or listen to it if you wanted. It certainly covers the subject of Positive Mental Attitude for us caregivers that we have discussed occasionally. It will take about 45 minutes.
Our pastor spoke on how important hugs are from father's. I could relate since my dad never hugged me or even told me he loved. Everything was always my fault. Art rarely hugged our kids when they were growing up cause he was never hugged by his dad. Same with 'I love you' - he never heard it from his dad. To his credit he hugs the two grandkids that live here - age 1 (today) and 3, but I have never heard him say 'I love you' to them. Heck, he rarely says it to me - in all the years we have been married. My love language is action, so I assumed his hard work to provide was his way to show love. When you don't have those healthy male hugs growing up there is an emptiness. As an adult it is still there when hubby doesn't hug.
My kids grew up mostly without a father figure, but I hugged them and told them I love them all the time. I am so proud of my son (age 37). He has a son age 17, and they Always hug and say I love you when they leave each other, if it is only for a few hours. And my son never leaves here without a hug and an "I love you". My daughters fortunately, married men who hug and kiss their children and say I love you to them all the time. My father never was much for hugging until after I was grown up. Never heard him say "I love you" till after I was grown, but I always knew he did. My DH and I still hug all the time. In fact, sometimes that's all I can do to calm him down and reassure him all is well.