While I was busy posting my musings on sibling squabbles and trying to help Jen with her hurt feelings, my dear sweet husband "escaped".
I heard the doorbell ring (it's dark outside) and there was our neighbor from 2 blocks away. My husband was on their street, supposedly looking for our little dog he thought had run off. Tigger was asleep on the cool tile floor! I've often said that the bad news/good news in our situation was that since he broke his hip he could barely walk unassisted (bad news) and as a result, doesn't wander off because he is too unsteady on his feet (the good news).
Here came our friends, Stacy and Jim, with my DH, scoot scoot, with Jim holding one of his elbows and Stacy holding the other. His knees were bent and he was exhausted. I couldn't believe my eyes. Just when we say, "He will NEVER EVER ... " he does.
All is well. He was growling quite loudly.. as he does when he is frustrated, didn't want anyone to help him up the steps to the porch, and did the "keep away" arm swing motion.. when I reached out to him. Now he is sitting in his chair, looking very remorseful. Of course, he was overheated and consequently, couldn't speak when he got home. When he is tired or feeling bad, his speech declines rapidly.
I gave him a big glass of lemonade and am insisting he drink it before he gets up. I'm sure he's very dehydrated now. Just goes to show that we can never say, "My loved one won't do that!" ...and again, all's well that ends well. - ... and so it goes....
When we moved to the new house in Florida, it came with an alarm. I wasn't here when the alarm guy programmed it. I never touch it except to set it when we go out, and shut it off when we come home. HOWEVER, he programmed it so that whenever a door, inlcuding the two patio doors, and any window opens, there is a loud BEEP BEEP. It is the easiest way to know immediately if someone is "escaping". I would suggest looking into that type of alarm system. I don't need it yet for Sid, but as you found out, "you never know."
Great idea Joan I have that option, and had it set for awhile. When workers were going in and out of the house after the hurricane, I turned it off because it was beeping constantly. Just never reset it. Will do that RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!! Thanks for reminding me.
Oh my, Nancy, that had to be scarey. We have a fenced yard and I have special latches on each gate that DH doesn't know how to work, but I still get a bit nervous that he may figure it out. I like the idea of the alarm that beeps when the door is opened. Can one get one that is self-installed, or do you have to go through a security company?
After the two incidents last winter, I had an alarm system put in. I set it every night. Disarm it in the a.m. If we go away, I also set it.
Nancy, I'm very happy that your DH returned home all safe and sound. I know that your stomach had to have been in knots. Like someone said, All's well that ends well.
Carolyn, so quietly indeed. I have some cowbells rigged on the door to my husband's room, and I can never open or shut the door without them clanking. My husband can go out silently - I hear them when they clang when he shuts himself back in! Yet most of the time he goes around the house huffing and puffing and moaning, anything BUT silently!
At least, Nancy, you didn't have to worry about him being lost, before he was found!! Hope you both have recovered, now!
Nancy, I highly endorse dead bolt locks! They save me every day!!! He goes to the door several times a day and tries his fingernails, tie dyes, paperclips, etc. It amazes me that the man who can follow ONE direction any more can still try to figure out that something small has to go in that lock!!!
Yes, DianeT., it does help to have neighbors who recognize him and know he shouldn't be out walking.
We were talking recently about how different people react to others these days. In my younger years, if I ever saw someone running down the street, I'd rush out and ask if they were OK and how could I help. Now, we assume they are joggers. It would never occur to me that they might be 'running for help'!!
As could be expected, he had a restless night and I ended up on the sofa after 3:00. I believe something gets their adrenelin pumping and then they act out. He's not his usual sweet calm self this morning either. He wants everything "right now". We have a lovely afternoon dinner planned - I hope he makes it through that.
Nancy, I too endorse deadbolt locks and alarms. I don't have a fancy alarm system but bought battery operated alarms and have installed them on every door. Annoying when someone goes in/out but invaluable in case DH wants to go out unaccompanied. Thank God for your kind neighbors.
Nancy, whew! makes my heart flutter just imagining it. So far my biggest fear is that DH will allow one of our dogs out to run off. I'm nearing the end of a long complete renovation of a small 1890 house in a little Victorian town in the Ozarks. There were so many doors on two levels I believe it was once used as a boarding house. I recently solved the ESCAPE problem for one room anyway. My husband's bedroom has a door leading to the outside plus two other doors leading to other rooms. I managed to convince him he needed more wall space (true) and had a carpenter dry wall over the door completely. So now NO DOOR except on the exterior as the Historic Commission would never allow us to get rid of the door as visible from outside, but they don't care about interior. We don't have much crime here but a burlgar would certainly find it frustrating to try to break in through that door!
Guess walling up your doors isn't an option for most of our houses, but was glad to solve even one little problem in advance! Everytime I look at that wall I smile. Odd the things that bring joy these days!
I have a battery-operated alarm, from Radio Shack, on our door. It can be set for immediate loud alarm, delayed loud alarm, or a brief musical note. I have to remember to set it when we come in, and turn it off when we go out. I have it on the musical note since I can hear that and it doesn't annoy the others in this retirement home. For the loud ones I have to punch in a code to turn them off.
We live in a retirement community. After my DH escaped a few times, and got lost, the social worker suggested a beeper to be put on the door. Found one at Home Depot for only about $12. It comes with a sticker pad, so easy to install. He hates it, but at least I know when he tries to go out. Doesn't help my need for sleep at night tho.
Guys, the spouses do not throw fits when they come onto dead bolt locks on your doors. You might think that they will, but they will try the door (over and over again) but give up when they can't figure it out. Plus it is safer for you from burglars. And safer for your spouses. Without deadbolts, I would have had to place my husband a year ago. These have allowed me to keep him home. We all have keys on us at all times. All outer doors use the same key. They have them at Home Depot and they aren't that expensive. It cost me $100 to have a locksmith change them out for the deadbolts that had the turn knob on them. And Canmoah2, I sleep knowing he is safe in our bedroom/bath at night (except that he gets me up every two hours to go to the restroom - I choose to get up because it is less clean up!).
The rules of this retirement community will not allow you to have a secured deadbolt on your door. They check each apartment each day and would not be able to enter. They say this is for my safety in case I fell or had a stroke and he would not know to pull one of the emergency strings. Last year I was very sick with pneumonia, and he could not figure out how to pull the alarm in every room in the apartment. I believe so far the buzzer is working, but if he wanders more I may pursue getting a waiver re lock, or sign something removing them from liability. There is only one door to our apartment, and since we are on the fifth floor, no balcony (on purpose), hope it continues to work for a long time.
Couldn't you give them the key to go with the key that they already obviously have to your front door? Once the buzzer stops being effective, I would ask for the waiver...
I never thought my DW would wonder off (NEVER SAY NEVER) but this morning after I finished getting cleaned up and then called my wife to get her ready to go to day care and she was gone! She had left the house and I couldn’t find her anywhere nearby. I called 911 and they sent out the Sheriff (two vehicles) to look for her. They found her over a mile from home and had the EMTs check her out. I couldn’t believe that she was able to go that far (she walks very slowly). She seems very confused and I convinced her to lie down after getting her to drink a little water and to eat some dark chocolate. She keeps telling me that she needs to leave but I didn’t think she would wonder off. I’ve called a locksmith to have four doors rekeyed from both sides of the door. I have two Pella French doors that I will have to secure with a latch up high because Pella doors can't be keyed on the inside due to safety issues. For now I can activate the house alarm system and will then know if she tries to leave. I should have known that this was going to happen because she keeps telling me that she has to leave and go someplace.
Jerry never say never is right. at least those of us who preach deadbolts on our doors feel vindicated.. just kidding. its a horrible ordeal to go thru when you turn your back and like magic they are gone in a flash. and yes they have superhuman powers to get where they are going. it boggles the mind how weak they can seem and still get into so much trouble. the 'deadbolt society' is growing in numbers. its not a choice its a safety factor for those of us with 'runner's.. i am glad shes ok, i know you are relieved! divvi
One thing about the keyed locks. On the day that my husband escaped he tried to go out a window and threatened to break another one. Sometimes the keyed locks won't work.
In addition as he got more and more upset, he also got angry.
I have not had DH wander YET..but I have come out from the back of the house, tv on..he was watching,not in the loo, not in the kitchen...where is he??? Lucky out in he back yard looking at his apricot tree and munching away then on to the fig tree for another snack.. I need to stop by the police and alert them about his condition and see about those door alarms..I would need 4 I think...sigh.
NancyB! Just read through this thread very quickly for the first time.....I had no idea I had distracted you from your watchfulness the day your husband escaped!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry!!!! YIKES
Jerry - when one of my grandson's was about 4 he escaped out his window after being locked in his room. Locking the window did no good so hb cut a stick to fit the window and attached it to the TOP of the window with nails so grandson could not remove it and open his window. May try something like that for the french door.
To keep my dh from escaping on his bike I tried confiscating the key. But that would not work when we had just come home from a ride together and he had the key in his pocket. So -- after another escape when he was finally found by the police after several hours and I had to pick him up at the emergency room where they had sent him in an ambulance -- I bought a chain and started chaining the back wheel to the frame. The other night he wanted to leave so badly that he picked up the bike (an old-fashioned heavweight) and started CARRYING it down the road. Fortunately he didn't get far that way. You think he'd realize that walking would be easier without carrying the bike!! I've now got the bike chained to one of the car port supports. He looks at it dolefully and sighs that it "doesn't work." Never blames me or accuses me of chaining it up.
I thought I was NOAHCAM2 but some comments come out as CAMNOAH2- I must be a split personality. Or are there two of us?
Update: when DH started trying to leave despite the loud buzzer I bought blue paper tape, from the hardware store, and every night put lots of it over the door entrance. That worked pretty well for quite a while.
There is not a door to our kitchen. DH was in habit of eating during the night, but needed to fast for a blood test. I made a spider web of the blue tape, and he did not eat that night.
Unfortunately DH has declined, and three weeks ago I had to put him in the nursing home section of this retirement place. He seems to have made a better adjustment then me. I am mourning the life we had together for almost 60 years. I visit him every afternoon for an hour or two. He can wander up and down the ward, go to the 'activities' room, talk to the other patients (some of these conversations are quite funny as neither of them usually knows what they are talking about--but seem pleased to talk about whatever.) He has an identification bracelet and apparently a tracker anklet.
Camnoah2, I was a locksmith for 20 years and now work in security matters. You should talk to your retirement community and ask them if you have the deadbolt keyed to match the knob (so the same key will operate both) would that be ok. It is very simple to do, you would need to take your current key to either a locksmith or Home Depot and tell them you want a deadbolt keyed to operate on that key. If you know a good carpenter he should have no problem installing it for you.
Another option would be to get a double sided door knob. They take a key on both the inside and outside, however, they are not cheap.
NOAHCAM2, I was reading your post and thought, how do you get into the kitchen if it has no door? Then it hit me:) Just got up and have not had a full cup of coffee yet. So far I am lucky DH not a runner. Mostly likes to sit.
I pictured a cased opening or archway from one room into the kitchen when I read her post. That's where she taped the blue tape back and forth into a spider web effect.