I am so grateful we are back from vacation. My daugher, son-in-law, 2 grandkids, my mom and DH went to Disneyland for 4 days. I spoke with DH's doctor before we went because I wasnt' sure whether to take him or not. He has been progressing at a fair rate and between the time I made the reservations and the trip (3-1/2 months) I was second guessing whether it was a good idea. His doctor indicated that since there were 4 adults, he recommended that we go. His logic was it would probably be our last vacation and there were 4 adults. Well, it wasn't a vacation for me. I was on edge the entire time. On two occasions he wanted to leave. One was in the park and I just held his hand and guided him my way. The second was in the hotel room. I had put the locks on the doors and he couldn't figure it out. My daughter and I talked after we got back and she observed that this was the first time that he wan't himself the entire time. He was in that far away look.
I started to get sick on the plane and now have some kind of flu or bad cold. My mom helped a lot yesterday. I didn't get out of bed the entire time. This morning, I got up as usual and took the dogs out. DH came down stairs shortly there after. Apparently he was cold and was trying to put on a shirt. He frequently wears 3-4 layers of shirts. However, this morning, he tried to put the shirt on his feet. I just grabbed the shirt and helped him put it on over his head.
DH had a doctor appointment yesterday and I brought him. Interesting, his doctor asked how I was doing and he commented that I had aged a lot. It had only been 3 months since he saw his physician. Feeling sick, taking care of a AD patient and returning from vacation makes me want to run away from home!
Diane I am so sorry your vacation was such a disaster. About 6 years ago shortly after my dh was dx we flew to DisneyWorld (Fla) for 6 days. Dr. was just trying meds for him (not good) and he was confused more before we left. He, I, daughter and 2 kids went. We really had a wonderful vacation but there were several situations. One of the meds caused him to wet the bed one night and I had to have them change out the mattresses and after that I put a large trash bed under him but it only happened the 1 night. He went in a bathroom and came out another door and that is the worse situation. I rented a electric scooter for him but he could only about half use it. He could do better with the scooter now and it was the meds. I constantly kept him in sight except for bathrooms. Daughter and children helped also but I had her take the children a lot without us so they could do fun things and they did have a wonderful time. Daughter had just been through a divorce and she had a great time. We had a limo meet us at the airport and stopped for groceries on the way to one of the hotels on Disney property where we had bus access and didn't have to rent a car. I absolutly would not try it any other way. Sounds like mine went better than yours, at least I didn't get sick. Forgot, I stopped the meds as soon as I seen how confused he was and he did better.
sorry too diane, they just seem to thrive better in their own ambience. our last trip was a cruise to caribbean. although DH did fairly well i was like you not much of a vacation for me constantly worrying about him becoming lost and bathroom issues. it was our last as well. sad --but being home now is less stress forus both. daytrips are about all we can muster now. hope you are better soon. divvi
So sorry, Diane. They do do better in their own environment. I know mine does. Our last trip to visit my 91 yr. old mother in FL was last Oct. and I vowed never to take another long trip like that. I hate it, because I know she doesn't have long to live, but it can't be helped. My sister is there to see to her at the NH. It was just entirely too stressful for both him and me.
I am sorry Diane....... I now see how we will never be able to vacation again. That's a tough pill to swallow.......to think that this is only going to get worse. I tried to arrange a trip for my husband to visit his brother last year, but his brother didn't seem to have the time. Now he never will.........Why don't they understand???????? ARGH!
Our whole family has a weekend trip planned for early August at a B&B about 3 hours from home. We have 6 rooms booked for 4 families. It is in Amish area and low key so I am hoping things go ok. We may have to take turns staying at the B & B with him. I don't want to do much anyway. I just don't have any energy anymore.
Lois, having just returned from a 2 week 'road trip', the one thing I would do differently is have a man in the car with us to help him when he had to go to the restrooms. Most of the rest stops or Welcome Centers were a bit of a walk from the car - which was disastrous...unable to hold his pee, and we had one major poopie accident. He tried to take off his pull-ups himself in a Welcome Center Restroom...still had on his shoes and socks...and you can imagine the rest. We WILL never go onto a highway again without a male assistant or relative in the car.
I know what you mean Lois. I can't go anywhere without another male with us. I am thankful that my son-in-law is such a help! My DH's two son's aren't anywhere to be found.
We haven't had a vacation in 5 years because the last one was just a big disaster. He got lost the second day and didn't have any local I. D. on him, so the police were calling our children 1,000 miles away and they were not home. I was out searching for him and just accidentally found him with the police and got big a lecture about having a local address & phone # on him. The police left messages on our children's phone to call back and they even called out Vet because he had the dog with him and the dog's I.D. had the Vet's phone number on it. Does your Vet know where you are when you are on vacation??? I don't think so!! I wasn't familiar with the area & I got lost, but that was when I found him. The police had to tell me how to get back to where we were staying. Then the children's phone calls started in to see if I found dad. After all that I felt like husband should be on the leash and the dog could run loose! It was enough for me, no more vacations.
Oh, DelS, what an awful experience but your relating it on this board was a big help to me -- laughs! I was trying to picture all of us with critters and our vets frantically trying to figure out where we might have taken our demented spouses on vacation... Thanks for sharing.
Have the male helper covered by son, 2 sil and grandson. This place is in the country and we have stayed here before. Our room will be Grandpas Nap Room. Isn't it cute? I am also going to take a waterproof crib pad to use on the bed, just in case. We have 6 rooms booked for 4 families. http://www.millerhaus.com/
We took a trip out of state about 18 months ago before DH was diagnosed. I was frantic when I woke up at 3:00 AM and he was not in the room. I went looking for him and found him wandering around way down the hallway in his shorts and undershirt. Luckily no one was around. He was confused the whole time we were away. Travel is really hard on the caregiver.
You're gettiing me nervous, now! I'm planning on taking my husband up to the Maine island for a week in late July. I'm also going up myself for a week at the beginning of July (we rent the house for the month; I have friends using it other weeks). The first week is the one I've been focussing on, getting the caregivers arranged to be here (along with our adult daughter who works nearby). If we get through that without trouble, I keep thinking that the last week will be a snap. He loves to ride in the car, we're driving up and will spend the night at an inn (which may be a bit distressing but I'll dope him up); he likes the boat ride and once we get him into the house he can basically stay there the whole week. He won't be able to go far in his walker! but I do have a golf cart arranged. We'll see. Doing it this way is the only way our daughter can get the week off to be on the island that is for here (and me) the place of our hearts.
We recently traveled to TX for a granddaughter's graduation. As we visit our daughter and family twice a year, it was familiar to him. Coming back our flight was delayed in Tampa due to weather conditions in the Northeast. He had a hard time understanding the delay, or could not remember the problem for more than 3 minutes. There was lots of pacing, using the restrooms, etc. He is at his best at home and becomes very impatient in unknown circumstances. I would give anything for a vacation by myself, but he would have a hard time with that.
briegull i think he will do just fine once you get him in the house. its the traveling long hrs etc and staying in the inn maybe tricky for the nite. you are going by car so thats a plus. airlines are big nono's. airports freak them out alot and noisy places. go with a positive attitude and dont let the small stuff ruin your trip. divvi
Oh, an airline trip would be incredibly hard. Fly to Portland on one plane, rent a car or get a tiny regional plane to land somewhat nearby, rent a taxi.. Wouldn't really make sense.
Another part of this particular situation is that he knows the destination well - but more importantly, everyone there knows us. I am not trying to get a relaxing vacation really, or see things I haven't seen and won't see again. Just to be back in the place I think of as home. I can get sitters. One thing that just occurred to me is that he won't have a tv. I'll have to get one, I think, a little one with a dvd player in it that I've been thinking of anyhow, and take some dvds up.
For years, my kids and I have talked of renting a large chalet in the Great Smoky Mountains for a week and meeting there (they live in Michigan, we live in Tennessee). We decided this might be the last year it would be possible, so we are going on July 19th. I doubt that DH and I will do much of the touristy things in Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg, but there is a 9-hole golf course, 2 fishing ponds, walking trails, swimming pool and playgrounds onsite. And a hammock on the wrap-around porch. Hopefully the kids and grandkids will go off to spend lots of money on Dollywood, etc. and we will stay at the chalet and relax. My son and son-in-law will probably take DH golfing with them a couple of times, too. Wish us luck.
buzzelena, that sounds like a lot of relaxed fun for you and DH. Hope everything works out for you. Be sure to give us a report after you get back.
briegull, get that TV with DVD player and have a great time. Going to a place where you know the area and a lot of people should work well. By the way, what do you "dope up" your DH with. If we try another trip this summer, that's what I want to do at night.
I'm not sure what I'll use! I asked the doctor for some emergency calming pills - not many, just a few for the week when i'm gone.. he said he'd phone the pharmacy! He's very helpful. He's known as a good neurologist (one of the "best in RI for women") but the way different people react to different meds can have him baffled. He's always asking for feedback about what works.
We are celebrating our 60th anniversary next year. I want to take the whole family on a week-long cruise to Alaska from Seattle. Everyone said they'd love to go. That's 24 people. Yes, there will be enough $$ by next July 2010.
My problem--I have to put a down payment to hold the staterooms on that particular trip. That's ok. BUT, I'm now wondering if DH will be up for the trip next year.
It is a celebration. I want to have our pictures taken all together, etc. You know....It will be the last trip we take. I'm just wondering if I'm asking too much of him.
Mawzy that sounds wonderful for a family trip. I used to think of doing the same. Now, I hesitate about making plans for 2 months from now. If the option is available I would try and do it sooner rather than later. I think you will want to take the trip Insurance where you can get your money back up to near sailing time for medical reasons and be sure the travel agent gets you the right plan.
Right on Briegull...Trip Insurance is essential.. Seems like I recall we are "related" - maybe about 8th cousins twice removed..??. Can I come along, too??
Mawzy-with the trip insurance you will be able to cancel but probably not the rest of the cabins. That is what happened to me when I had an accident 2 weeks before my family cruise. No way was I going to let the rest of them go without me so I went and hobbled. Good luck-hope it happens and you all enjoy.
Several years ago when we traveled anywhere I had my dh wearing either a bright cap or a bright yellow shirt and he was much easier to spot. On a couple vacation occasions he wore a bright pink energizer cap and it worked great. Nobody else paid any attention because they had their own issues.
Mawzy, I felt the same way you feel now a year ago when I signed up for the Caregiver Cruise. Like the others have said, I took out trip insurance on all of us, so that should he not be able to travel, I could get my money back. We went, and had a good time and have some good memories of the trip.
Your husband probably won't be the same as he is now, but from what you have said about him, I think you will probably be able to go and have a good trip. You will also be surrounded by family members who can pitch in and help you, and being surrounded with love for such a wonderful celebration is fantastic!
You can get cancel for any reason trip insurance from: http://www.travelsafe.com/ I've never had to use it but the ability to cancel and the medical help they offer while traveling have given me peace of mind. My travel agent knows someone who did have to use it to get home suddenly from a trip because of a downturn and he says it worked well.
I have always taken the trip insurance and never needed it until about 2 years ago when we were going to go to Rome, Florence, etc. with a group from church. That's when DH took a big downturn and went from MCI to mocerate to severe AZ in 3 months time. We cancelled the trip and got the money back. (That's where part of the kitchen remodel came from!)
I will definitely get the trip insurance. But my stomach is in a big knot right this minute wondering how he'll do. Genereally he puts up a HUGE fuss about 2 weeks before right up until the time to get in the car to go to the airport. Then he settles down and has a good time.
I'm not going to worry about this. Worry is not fruitful and I'm just going to make plans and go. Thanks for all your kind words. I seem to need a lot of uplifting these days. Wonder why?
On our family cruise, each family carried a walkie talkie. We could find one another and arrange for "meeting spots" on the large ship. Also worked when we were walking around in the shore excursions. It's imposible (and not fun!) for everyone to stay together, and it was so easy!
DH and I have always enjoyed bicycle vacations and we belong to a club where you can call ahead every day to another member's home and if they have room they will put you up and give you breakfast (for a reasonable set price). Since the onset of AD the prospect of this has been too scary for DH, but I really miss our summertime rambles and this year I had a bright idea. I booked a hotel ahead of time, just one easy day's cycle journey from here and DH was OK with it. On the Friday morning when we were going (two weeks ago) he was up at 5 am, dressed and shaved and wondering why I wasn't ready yet. Everything packed on the bikes, maps on mine (used to be his job), sandwiches made and off we went. But by that time it was rush hour, and to get underway we had to take a flyover over a major highway. Up to then I had been guiding: turn right here and turn left here because even that close to home he didn't seem to remember the way. On the way across the flyover he said "But you don't know how to get there" and I assured him once more that I did. On the other side he suddenly stopped, said "I'm not doing this" and "I'm going home. You can go alone" turned his bike around and off he went, back across the flyover and all the way home. He found his way home very easily and was waiting at the front door for me to arrive and turn off the alarm. He didn't really seem to expect that I would go without him. I cancelled the hotel and arranged other things to do all weekend. From now on I'm only going to go on trips together with other people; so far that has worked well. He doesn't mind letting me down and didn't understand my disappointment, but so far he has been good about not wanting to let other people down.