Tomorrow is flag day. Lets all send Joan a "flag", and let her know how much we appreciate this site.
Joan- From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for all you do for us. You will never completely realize the help you have provided for all of us travelling this hard journey. Here's a flag, because you not only deserve it, but you are an American heroine (not the drug), and you typify what it truly takes to be an "American Hero". Thank you !!!
Joan...I've been kinda 'dissed' lately on one stream of comments (Decline), and won't be here for a while....but, know how much I appreciate this site. Two of the members here have actually saved my life two times. Even when their comments were "off topic". They gave me a smile and hope for the future. I can't tell you how many times I've signed on to a specific comentary and someone else has gone "off topic" for a moment. The words they have said, though, have been so specific for my needs (they were female). It has lightened my heart. They did the most good, instead of the AD talk that anyone else would have offered. Sorry. I've felt kind of squashed because of what was said about me. My e-mail is open to anyone and I'm getting some uplifting response from there. I, like everyone else have feelings and something to offer (I hope) to others. Thank you again, Jen.
Stuntgirl, nobody here is perfect. many here are under stress and duress from long hrs, days, and YEARS of caregiving. yours needs are just as great as everyone elses here and I am sure that nobody intended to chastise you into leaving here. rather i think the idea would be to also take others posts into consideration when you read their posts and direct your responses towards something postive as an offering of moral support. i think thats all that was meant. its a give/take situation here and unfortunately with the serious issues at hand-bringing your DH home for care, its left you in a world of unpreparedness and volatility. alot of these responses i do believe are fustrations from the futile atttempts many of us have felt when we have tried to offer you some helpful advice. over and over the same issues. you have started many posts lately asking for direct help which is absolutely well and good, and have received many positive supportive responses to your needs. we do tend to get off topic many times but someone always has the lucid moment to bring us back to the subject matter at hand. know that we all get a little selfish at times and want our own needs met when we have critical issues at hand- but also we know that some need to have that opportunity reciprocated as well. you can supply them with that added support and friendship too. i hope you reconsider and lets ALL put our by gones to rest and everyone step up to the plate and start fresh. if you accept i am sure everyone here feels the same as we are here for one purpose only- and thats to help each other get thru this miserable disease with love and support. divvi
Is this desecrating the flag or what??? I am glad to see that you turned my topic onto something positive and worthwhile....I agree that we are all unprepared and emotionally perverted...This disease is the worse there is, and sometimes I am not immune to it..I do get the symptoms.....lol
I could not agree more - this disease is the worst. My mother and an aunt with whom I was very close, died miserable, suffering deaths from cancer, and I never thought I would see anything worse, but AD wins.
Hey Jen...Nancy here! ... Join the club! I've been dissed too same as many others have been. Sweetie, we're brothers and sisters here and we all have our moments when one of us takes off on some tear and the next thing ya know, someone's feelings are hurt. Remember when we were little, and someone would tell a tale, and the other one would say, "Huh! That's nuthin, mine is worse!" "or bigger" or nastier!!" The thing that is different about this site is that when someone comes up with a really bad happening with their own Alzheimer Spouse, we are inclined to wonder, "Oh Lord, how long will it be before my LO starts that!" For you see, all of us are walking down the same path, at different stages. It's a progressive disease and most of the phases you are going through have been experienced by about half of us and the other half have it to look forward to with extreme dread and apprehension.
I don't know if you were reading much on this site when Divvi wrote about her husband pooping all over the house. On her beautiful clean rug, all over the floors, wherever he happened to be. She was on her hands and knees handling the "poop patrol" while the rest of us cried for her. Many of us have been pee'd on and others worse than that. When one of us is having a really bad day, we restrain our own selves from saying "Huh, that's nuthin...my life is 'worser' than yours.!". We try to be sensitive enough to realize that on that particular day - when whoever wrote about their awful day, there was NOTHING WORSE than their day. PERIOD! When someone spills their woes on the site, we need to circle our wagons around her or him and say Awwwwwww,bless your heart, poor, poor you...I feel your frustration." I think that is all Terry was trying to say. I am sure you will agree that we have all done that for you, too, when you were sharing your fears about ever finding where John was, what to say to the lawyer, where to begin. We supported with you then and will always be here for you in the future. So, let me wipe your tears away and give you a hug. We just had a squabble here and it's time to get past it. But in THIS family of brothers and sisters, forgiveness and love TRUMPS everything.
You can't run away Jen. We'll just come get you and bring you back. It is a RULE in our Alzheimer Spouse Family Rule Book. You can't hide from us either, because we know where you are and we'll find you! So THERE!!! (grin) Love,Nancy
OHMYGOSH! I off-topic'd Phranque's Flag Day Topic. A thousand pardon's Brother Phranque. I started my thesis to Jen and had countless interruptions...and by the time I finished and posted, I was waaaaaaaaay Off Topic with so many other posts it doesn't make a bit of sense..... A thousand lashes on my keyboard...
I think I will rename the thread "if you want to post and cannot find a place, this is it...I am almost sorry that I started this thread....now Joan has to fix it, and I wish she would just let it be...she works hard enough that she does not need to fix our mistakes....sorry Joan..This discussion was intented to make your day easier, and now it has made it more work....Whatever you decide is good enough for me...
I am for just leaving it here and starting a new one next time - cause there will be a next time for something. Probably need to bring 'venting' thread back or start a new one. Or a thread called 'Potluck'
Wanted to get this in before Joan does the "fix" tomorrow. I sorta think of ya'll like I do my neighborhood, affectionately called "the ranch". There are sometimes hurt feelings, or perceived slights, insults, stepped-on toes, etc., but when push comes to shove, we are a "family" on the ranch and we hang together, just like a real family. In the short time I've been on this board I've already figured out there's not a single soul with a mean bone in their body. As others have already said, we all come here for the same reasons and we love and support each other.
During The Alzheimer's Project, I either heard or read that ONLY people who truly love the AD Patient can be caregivers. I think that is true. It does NOT mean that when we reach the time we think is right to move them into another facility for more intensive care, that we do not still love them, because that has to be the most loving thing a caregiver can do. Much the same as the story of the two women in the Bible who claimed to be the mother of the same baby. The true mother was willing to give it to the other woman in order to save its life. The love we have for our husbands and wives spills over to the feelings we have for other caregivers in the same boat. Just last week at the AT&T Cellphone Store, a man came in with his wife. It was so easy to tell she had AD. I looked at him, gave him a small, knowing smile, and he gently nodded and gave me the same small smile back. We connected. Just as all of us have done. I love you all....and am so glad we're family.
Jen, I know you are raw right now. Please know that you are part of the family here, whether you choose not to write for a while or not. I hope you will return to writing. Divvi and Nancy have said how I feel better than I could.
Phranque, I am adding my flag for Joan as well!! (Can I put a car on mine for her? LOL)
Aaaawww....I'm here. I'd never leave. Never left. Just had hurt feelings about somebody's misconception of my comments/motives. You all are the only family I have besides an ALZ spouse and my mom and dad several hours away. I don't bother them with a lot of my life's issues because it hurts and worries them so badly. So, YOU ALL ARE THE ONE'S WHO GET THE DRAMA!!! What can I say...I'm an open book. Love to you all....and flags to Joan. There.....did I put the thread back on track???? :)
phranque--here's to Old Glory and I'm also sending a flag to Joan. Joan, you are such a hard worker. My gosh. You make me feel like a 'piker.' (grin).
I liked watching the military men put the flags out at Arlington--one foot from the head stone. I didn't realize they measured it with their foot so they woud be precise.
Blessings to all because we all need to be blessed more than we already have been. XOXO too! :)