DH is in Stage 3, going on to 4 and still in denial. We're about in the 4th year of dementia and he still has not been evaluated. Right now his daughter and I are making plans to talk to his dr. and then get him in. What do we do if he gets angry and refuses? I can handle most of the things going on, but the anxiety-causes public uproars are too much to deal with. We just can't go anywhere anymore without him starting a loud argument with someone.
Loud arguments don't sound like stage 3. And he needs to be on the dementia meds so he stays in stage 3 or 4 as long as possible. Also, he needs to be put through tests just in case what he has isn't Alzheimers or Vascular Dementia or one of the other incurable dementias. There is the possibility that what is wrong with him can be cured. It isn't likely, but it does happen. Which is why he needs testing.
And what you do if he causes a public uproar is dial 911 and ask for someone to take him to the hospital, and explain why while you are on the phone. When he is in the hospital, have him evaluated. That was what the Alzheimer's Association told me after my husband's ONE violent episode.
By the way, if he truly has dementia, it isn't denial. He literally has lost the ability to see that anything is wrong with him. It is one of the symptoms.
I think he's beginning to realize something's wrong, but the question is how to talk him into an evaluation. We're going to have to figure it out soon.
Public outbursts were one of the first signs that something was wrong with Sid. It wasn't just the outbursts, but the fact that afterwards, when I tried to talk to him about it, he saw absolutely nothing wrong with his behavior. That was a big red flag.
As for getting an evaluation, I find this works the best. Call or go to see his primary care doctor by yourself. Explain the situation to him and tell him that is is essential that your husband be evaluated by a specialist at a Memory Disorders Clinic. Before you go, write down every single incident and time frame that brought you to your conclusion. Be as detailed as possible. If the doctor dismisses it as normal aging or nothing to worry about and refuses to work with you, get another doctor. The primary doctor who is agreeable can then schedule a regular physical for your husband. After the physical, the doctor can then tell your husband that he needs to see Dr. So and So to rule out a mini stroke or a vitamin deficiency (which can cause memory problems) or he can make something up that will get your husband to the evaluation.
The problem is to get a doctor who will cooperate with you completely. We tried this approach with my step-mother, and the primary ASKED her if she wanted to go for an evaluation. NOT the way to handle it. He has to TELL your husband that it is necessary for him to have further testing for whatever reason he can make up that your husband will go for.
i still think the good one for those who are still with it enough to refuse going on their own, is that ''the health insurance company is REQUIRING a yearly physcial to renew our health insurance!!' and you can 'both ' go -him first! and be sure you have a dr that is in key to your needs. crucial to waste the opportunity if the dr wont get the tests done. i would type up a letter from the 'insurance ' co and say 'joe blow, you must have a physical to help reduce insurance costs!' hahadivvi
We're both on Medicare with a Medigap policy and that just wouldn't ring true. He'd be going aorund asking everyone about it. His daughter is making an appt. tomorrow to talk to his dr., who's also a geriontologist, so we'll see where we go from there.
My dh was furious when we went to his pcp. I had called him the day before and left a message that I felt there was something wrong with dh memory. Asked if he could give him a test. Also asked that he keep my conversation confidential. Next day- he walks into the exam room and says" Mrs. ---, your husband does not have a memory problem! He then turned to dh and said" your mind is fine"!! I was furious. Dh was furious with me. He ranted on about why I would wamt people to call him "crazy", et. I didn't know what to do. I made an appt with a neurologist and then told him about it in the car while we were away on a short trip. I said, "look, the best thing that could happen is for me to be wrong. I am praying I am wrong. Humor me and just go. What does it cost you- a few hrs in the afternoon." He bought it and of course, I wasn't wrong. Maybe this will help you.