My husband is very high functioning, but his reasoning button is broken as well as the memory issue. We have two cats that he loves. We live on a busy street. I have those eletrical shock mats at the doorways to the outside. We have a fenced backyard.
They are inside cats - or were. In the last few months he has been taking them outside. Sometimes I don't know that they are out and he forgets and they have been left outside all night long. They are both somewhat reclusive, so I don't always think to check when I don't see them.
My problem is that we live on a very busy street - our house is close to the street. I am afraid that the cats are going to get out and get run over. Even though the back is fenced, they can get over it and he leaves the gate open as well. I have had those door closer things installed on all the outside doors, but he props them open. No matter what I say, this activity continues.
I don't know anyone that will take them. One is 20 pounds and neither of them are very friendly. I haven't called the pound or the vet as I know that so many pets need homes right now. If I put them in a room and shut the door, he lets them out - also the same with a pen.
When he was driving, he took one of them to the pound to have it put to sleep because he said I told him it was either him or the cat. We never had any such discussion. I am afraid of what he might do to them, like give them his meds, etc. He comes up with surprises that keep me on my toes.
What can I do. I just don't think I can go through one of our pets being run over or lost because of carelessness - or really AD.
Oh ((dagma)) how horrible! I wont pretend to understand what gets in their minds. Lynn was forever "setting free" our pets. From my dogs to my bunnies and cockateils. Acccck! The bunnies and birds were easy, I put locks on their cages. The dogs and cats were harder... yes I love my animals!! lol
We have a big ol ranch and what I did with the dogs was put in fences at both enteries. That way if he opened the door before I caught him at least I knew they were in the pen. The cats were harder. My two are also inside only cats and every time he let them out I was a wreck! What I ended up doing was putting locks on the inside doors and I lightly nailed the screens to all the windows.
I was always home with Lynn so most of the time I was able to "catch" him. If your DH is still home alone, I would lock the cats in a room until you get home. Amazing the things we learn to deal with. Best of luck with your cats!
I agree with Nikki. I would get one of those key lock door knobs would be perfect on an extra bedroom where you could put the cats, the cats' food and litter box and lock it and take the key with you. (If you have a neighbor that you trust who knows what is going on, you could give her the spare key to the room in case of emergency)
I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. But I distinctly remember you telling us about the time he was going to have the cat put to sleep. That story really stuck in my mind. Seems if I recall, you talked him down & got him to bring the cat back home.
If you can't find a solution, (maybe someone who has a farm?) & your husband really loves the cats, then maybe you will just have to hope for the best. I won't suggest talking to him, I know, I know.
I took off the "Off Topic" part of your title, because I think this is very related to AD. It is precisely the reason (besides that I can't afford it right now) that I have nixed the dog idea. I am so worried that my husband will forget to close the sliders to the patio or get distracted during the day, and not know if the dog got out. We live on a canal that has been know to have alligators in it. Do I need the stress of worrying that my dog could be an alligator appetizer?
Sorry, I know you're talking about cats, but the idea of an AD person not being responsible with any kind of pet is important.
Thanks for the understanding and the suggestions. I will ponder them and see what works. I am not sure locking them in a room will work as he is very strong and locks don't seem to stop him. I like the farm idea. I just hate to think that they could get hurt because I haven't taken appropriate measures. We have to sedate the big cat when the vet comes to the house for the cat's visits. I had the med on the counter and was going to give it to the cat, and he did it instead. The poor cat was almost falling down after a few steps. I checked the pills and the right amount is gone, but I never know what he will do or is capable of doing. He is really full of surprises. I am glad that I don't have to worry about gators as they really like to eat small pets.