I have 60 hours a week of home care. This has been split between two women since December 08. weird things started to go missing. Slowly at first. My DH stash o'cash for garage sales approx $150.00Leaf Blower from back yard (brand new) Maybe someone leaped our fence and grabbed the leafblower. Maybe my DH threw the money and container out in garbage. Who knows!My DH's private insurance disability check went missing. I saw it here. Then it was gone. No harm, stopped the check and got replacement immed.As the weeks went on, one caregiver continually told me her woes of being broke, desperate for money.This caregiver started a war with the other part-time caregiver, trying to get her fired. She would talk to me about wanting to do all 60 hours and get the other woman out. I had placed a 100.00 Wal-Mart gift card in a basket covered with tons of mail and misc crap. Mid-March, I verified the gift card was still there.By early April, I went to get the gift card and it was gone. Yes, I was reluctant to report to the agency, as the stuff missing was stupid. Later April. Family coming to town. On SUNDAY night, I was looking over guest room preparing for family arrival on Wed. I saw my DH bright blue 4foot tall telescope sitting in guest room and I made a mental note that it needed to be stashed. MONDAY, the caregiver called me at work to tell me she shook out comforter from said guest room and aired it out. TUESDAY morning, I went in the room to stash telescope and it was GONE. Only ONE caregiver on the property from Sunday to Tuesday. I SAW it Sunday at 10PM. It was GONE Tuesday at 8am. SHIT. Family came and went. So did a coffee cake from my freezer and a block of cheese.Okay..I contacted the agency involved and told them the above. They started an investigation on both ladies and contacted Adult Protective Services and requested I file a police report. As soon as I hung up the phone, it rang. My credit card company. Do I have my card in my possession? Unusual charges occuring. Checked my wallet. Everything in order....debit card OK, liscense OK, health insurance card OK..but 2 credit cards gone.Both cards had not used the cards in an entire year.All right..now this is really starting to get serious. Filed a police report. stopped both credit cards. Interviews interviews interviews.Sheriff dept never filed police report...hounded them daily.Capitol One credit card found a declined charge at our local Wal-Mart! A camera will have caught the person. Worked through Sheriff and Wal-mart to pull video. We have her! Ten minutes to pull the tape! Sheriff on the way to view it! Wal-mart called back..very embarrassing, but due to re-modeling construction, they lost all video for that day. No cameras at all! Damn..square one. Until Adult Protective Services called the next day. Both interviews were done with the ladies and a background investigation conducted. Lo and behold...the lady who wanted ALL THE HOURS, WANTED THE OTHER ONE FIRED, WANTED COMPLETE AUTONOMY IN MY HOME, has a court case coming up in her and her sons name for fraud, identity theft, checks stolen and cashed, from the neighboring county. APS knew the social worker involved in that case, and they had a nice chat. Same exact method of operation. VERY sadly, at this point I went to look for my DH camera. ( He is/was a very good photographer in healthier years) He had a Nikon D70 35mm digital camera with huge telephoto lens, case and 2 more lenses. Probably close to 2000.00 package. Yup, gone. My little point and shoot camera. Gone.My DH still used his camera frequently, it was his pride and joy. I would follow up taking pictures of the same items he did, in case his didn;t turn out, and I would tell him they were his pictures. Everything has been forwarded to Atty General. I will continue to try to press charges on my end. She will never work in this field again, (she slipped throught the cracks once, tho..nothing shows up on this other case for abuse directory) My message..be grateful for outside help, but do not trust as much as I. Be wary of large tote bags coming in with caregiver...Be wary of caregiver being over-protective of you and yours...Be wary of caregiver wanting to be the only one in home...Be wary of caregiver bringing small gifts...even food...Be wary of caregiver introducing their partner in your home.... They ARE NOT your friends. They are an employee and a stranger and have access to your valuables, including your MOST VAUABLE..your DH. They are alone in your home with lots of time and virtually zero supervision. Background checks sometimes do not keep up with hiring. My DH is heartbroken over his camera. I cannot afford to replace it. BTW, one of my cats disappeared during this time. SHE probably took her and sold her. Is there no shame in some people? Also...I have spent days at every flea market, pawn shop etc within 50 miles and have not found the camera. Or the cat. Take care, Sheltifan AKA Patty
Oh, Patty, how horrible for you! You are so right, we must be extremely diligent about people who have access to our home and family. One lessor learned for me: Whenever ONE thing that's halfway valuable goes missing - report it immediately. Constantly check wallets for credit cards, etc.
I'm so very sorry you are having to go through this. HUGS to you.
This is horrible! I hope you can get some of your things back and the identity fraud taken care of. Identity theft can be really difficult to straighten out. Be sure to check your credit records to make sure she didn't somehow get hold of credit cards you haven't thought about.
My husband has the same camera outfit and would be heartbroken if it disappeared. I don't know how we could possibly afford to replace it. Do you have insurance that would cover it?
Thank you for posting that entire story. It is very important. We always try to warn people, but don't want to be distrusting of everyone. True, detailed stories like yours, including your tips at the end are invaluable. I'm going to put your warning and tips somewhere in the resources on the home page - maybe even a separate topic by itself.
We had an experience like that with home health aides who were caring for my MIL - she didn't have dementia - she was just old and infirm. Unfortunately, it wasn't until she was in the nursing home and we were cleaning out her apartment did we realize that a very valuable gold 50 year old watch was gone. Too many aides and too much time had passed for us to know which one could have taken it, but we did report it to the agency. They also took a diamond ring that I had made for her after my FIL passed away. The diamond was from his ring. They also took another diamond ring, but HA HA to them. It was a ring I bought for her from QVC, because she liked it - Cubic Zirconia.
Thank you for sharing and going into such detail. I am so sorry that you are having to experience this tragic situation on top of AD.
I have had some thoughts along those lines of having people in my home. I did have one lady that came in and sat for our animals and Iwas giving her more and more access. Her financial situation really bothered me and I backed off gradually from having her here. I felt paranoid and judgmental, but I think it is important to trust that little voice in our beings that sends us warning signs.
I hate to admit this, but one of my grandsons, will probably never know which one and don't want to know - had access to my belongings and either they or a friend of theirs used a seldom used card of mine to go onto adult websites.
I have always had my radar up since then. I was able to remedy the situation regarding the charges and closing the card, but the event will never leave my memory and that was over ten years ago. One grandson was preteen and the other was early teen. I had never had before and since then, any other behavior from them that suggested that they were less than honest. I suspect them as I didn't used the credit card and they were the only ones that had access to it unless it was a "friend" of theirs. We confronted them, but.......
I love them both dearly, but, we are all human and it is hard to resist temptation especially when one is in need.
I know it wasn't my husband as he doesn't have the computer skills or ability to do that and doesn't know about history on the computer and I check it often. He was the one of thought of first.
I am so sorry. I went thru HELL with a staffing agency. Stand your ground. THEY are liable for some of the loss as they are supposed to do background checks and they have the people working in your home as their representative. IT should always be a no no for the worker to bring someone else into your house. I have two words WEB CAM. even if you do not hook them up just showing them to the caregiver should enough. Check on Ebay and see if you see the camera being advertised there also. PRESS CHARGES also contact your home owner insurance company they will help to recoup some of the loss and may also get some money from the agency.
I have had the same experience, to the tune of about $1000.00. In one year, I had 9 different people from agencies come in the house to help. The ones I liked, my husband fired. The one my husband liked quit to go back to school. The last one, a live-in from another country, who had left her children and husband back home to earn money to bring them to Canada, cried a lot. I have a friend who is in a care facility for 3xweekly dialysis, and her elderly husband needs help at home. She sized up the good aides in the care facility, learned which ones worked part-time and could take on other jobs, and that's worked out okay.
Mary75..what a great idea your friend had. That's being resourceful! Shellseeker..Both my family that was down here last week and than today at AD support group mentioned WEB Cams. Very good idea. I come from the restaurant mgmt field and I know both the good and bad side cameras bring out in people and they are NOT foolproof (see WALMART issue in original post) However, even a camera not hooked up (they don't need to know) may be a deterent. And they are cheap! Basically a nanny-cam. Dagma3..I mean no dis-respect to you or your situation about the adult websites, but it made me laugh for a minute. Don't you just wonder what gets into people? I had a restaurant employee steal a guests credit card number and he called 900 numbers using his own cell phone. BUSTED..how embarrassing to this young man and I will bet my LIFE that he never does anything like that again. I bet your grandsons or whoever learned a big lesson. Anyway..thanks for being there...all of you...
Sheltifan - for me, the credit card indiscretion was minor in money, but a good lesson in my being more careful about my resources. At this point, they are both grown and are very productive and I don't want to know which one did it. But I am sure they had a good time at their poor old Granny's expense.
If you have homeowners insurance won't they cover the loss? Just a suggestion. I never had to use my homeowners insurance so I don't know for sure, but they should reimburst you something.
With all the responsibilities and worries we must go through as caregivers, the last thing we need to da is worry about those caregivers entering our home. I was lucky in that my dh always went out with his caregivers. Once in a while, they would get back before me but I always trusted them. One has a wife with alz. She is in a nh so he needs to work. The other one had a Mom with alz so he was great. I say, prosecute to the hilt. These people will make our lives miserable for a long time ( identity theft) and the more public the prosecutation, the better. Maybe it will put more pressure on the agencies to do a better job with background checks. Patti, I feel so badly for your situation and hope you can get beyond it somehow. We are all here to give you the hugs you need to persevere. Good Luck. {{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}
Can anyone elaborate on the nannycam? Are they hard to hook up, where would you put it, where to buy, etc. Anyone with experience?
I've locked up all sorts of things, and after reading this thread and hearing other horror stories, I think I'll take my good china and crystal, pack it away in boxes and lock it in a cabinet in the basement! My aunt had her china stolen by a household employee--found out years later--she must have taken it out piece by piece. I've heard of cleaning people leaving a window unlocked, boyfriend comes back later and really "cleans" the house out.
I have a young man who does my lawn and he never comes in the house. I have been thinking about getting someone to come in every-other-week or so and do my vacuming, etc. Now, after reading this, I'm not so sure. I think I will re-read the above posts and think some more.
My friend had a young girl to clean her house. She got a big sob story about how she was so afraid of her boy friend and she had no money to get away from him. My friend with the big heart gave her over 1,200 and never saw the girl again. Right now she's afraid her daughter will find out about it.
I have had someone clean for me occasionally for years, while working and with my Mom and now the AD. I have always known the ladies personally as well as their families. Which doesn't guarantee anything but did give me a level of trustworthyness. About 6 years ago my lady was stopping cleaning so I asked her for recommendations of someone to replace her. She gave me 4 names and how she knew them. I could find no longtime personal relationship with any of them and never called them.
Mawzy, I would look for someone in your Church, maybe check with a pastor. A lot of ladies clean for people anymore. They can make more money doing that than at McDonalds. Inquire among your friends, etc.
That said, remove or lock up any valuables and money. I don't have expensive nick nacks, and I try and not keep any money laying around to tempt people. My most expensive thing is the flat screen TV and appliances. Forgot my computer. Anytime you have someone in your home you are vulnerable. Put valuables in a safe-deposit box at the bank. It is important you get some help with your cleaning and respite occasionally. Good Luck.
Yes Imohr, you need to put a passcode lock on the computer so that they are not on there snooping and doing what ever. They need to be doing what they are hired to do.
We have had a cleaning woman for the past couple of years. She is very good and reliable, even does windows. One day I found that a bag of returnable bottles I was saving was missing. I called her to see if she knew anything about it. She said she had taken them, thinking to save me the time (and get a little extra money). I told her I was saving them because the place we take them sends the money to our church. She immediately took them there and told them they were for the church. She has never touched anything else. Even took my loose change, which I left on my bureau, and put it in an empty wipes box. I have continued to use this box.
When I had the inside of my house painted all my valuable collections were put in crates. When all was done I was missing a favorite piece. I asked the painters to help me find it-stressing that I was not accusing them of anything as it was I who had crated them. Painter told me he was once accused of taking a diamond ring. Police were called and he was humiliated. Ring turned up later and he says he has not gotten over the experience. My Lladro piece did turn up=exactly where I put it.
Last year, I had a link up to Tender Tidings. No one showed any interest. It is a system that allows you to keep an eye on your loved one while you are not home. I am still an associate. Copy and paste this link - https://join.tendertidings.com/storefront.php
Joan, Thanks for the link. I looked at it and it appears that this would be good for someone who is going out of the home to work and will have access to a computer? What I'm more interested is something that will record what is going on when I'm not there, so I can view it later. Have there been any threads on home surveillance equipment? Searched it, but couldn't find anything. If not, I'd like to start one. I'm wondering if my husband's LTC policy might even pay for it--they do cover home modificatons--I'm going to investigate.