As I have reported in other discussions, Robert is doing really well on the azl meds. He has began to "research" about alzheimer's. This has been a real roller coaster of emotions. On the one hand, it is so good to be able to talk with him about it. On the other hand, watching him experience the pain and grief of knowing that it is a fatal disease is breaking my heart. He finally got to a point last week when he decided that he wasn't going to read anymore for a while. We are doing our best to cherish this time right now. We don't know how long it will last.
I've seen some indicators that the disease still marches on. He is showing some memory loss. It's funny with him though. It's not his short term memory that is hit. It's his long term memory. He is becoming less productive at home - which is ok. I'm not putting any pressure on there. I find myself watching him now and trying to read into everything he does or doesn't do. Is he just tired today or is the alzheimer's catching up with him????
I can still talk with him though and I really do cherish that ability. I want to start talking with him about his wishes for funeral, etc..... but I also don't want to think about it. It's too easy right now to think that maybe we won't have to deal with that. My daughter asked Friday night - Does Daddy still have alzheimer's? Robert had made a joke about it. She had thought that since he was doing so well that maybe he didn't have it anymore.
It breaks my heart that we are all going to have "re-experience" the grief of losing him again someday. But I wouldn't trade today for anything in the world.
At least your husband acknowledges it. My husband doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to learn anything about it. When we goe to the nuerologist he says it is because I have a problem and I am there so she can help me. I guess he has it right in the long run. But his reports to her are jolly, positive. He looks better lying than I do telling the truth..
Maybe I'm weird but ... why talk about his funeral with him? A funeral is for the living. If he doesn't care enough about it to bring it up, then let it be. When and if you have to deal with it, do what is best for you and your daughter.
I agree with Sunshyne. My husband told me that he wants a funeral exactly like my Mom's, but had he not mentioned that at her funeral. I would have arranged what I felt was approprite. Well it will likely be the same thing. Also my husband denies having AD has no interest in learning about it and we never discuss AD.
My husband never uses the word Alzheimers, rather refering to his condition as memory loss. He has no trouble telling people " I lost my memory five years ago" which is in fact when the diagnosis was made. I don't think he really wants to know the ins and outs of this horrible disease and tends to tune out whenever there is a mention of it on TV. I don't see any point in pushing the issue. He is generally happy, gets up in a good mood, usually whistling which bugs me first thing in the morning but I don't say anything. He has such faith in his doctor and is quite convinced the vaccine will help him. We are waiting to get into the study and can only hope that he will get the drug and not the placebo.
You guys make a good point about the funeral thing. I was thinking primarily about burial vs creamation and what cemetery he wants to be buried in. We were going to spell out details for both of us so that should something happen and we both go, our families will have some direction.
I also want to make a "pact" with him with regards to driving (please don't bombard me with he shouldn't be driving, you can't see him, so you can't judge), medicine, etc... He is adamant about not being placed in a nursing home and after reading a few posts about relationships that can form in a NH, I don't really want that either. We are a long ways from that, so I will try not to worry about that until then.
It is good to have him back even if it is temporary. He's not back 100% It is good to be able to talk to him about AD. It allows us to say things to each other and put our relationship in a perspective that we wouldn't otherwise. It reduces much of the stress I had before trying to hide it from him. It is certainly an answer to prayer. I had asked that if it not be God's will for Robert to be healed that God would allow the medicines to work and that Robert would regain much of his functioning for a time. I feel like God has answered my prayer. I'm still holding out hope that it isn't a "no" to the healing part. haha