I've said before that my husband has been diagnosed Mild Cognitive Impairment (not AD at least not yet), sometimes can't remember how to get where he wants to go, but goes to work daily (vice president of a company he helped start 30 years ago), scored normally on his neuropsych testing, and does most of his usual activities. He's on Aricept and it seems to have improved his functioning. Now for my question: Yesterday we were shopping in Walgreens pharmacy looking for a small drinking glass for my grandmother's bathroom. He found two different hard plastic glasses and showed them to my grandmother in her wheelchair (she's 94 with dementia and I'm her caregiver). She didn't like the first glass and said she was concerned the 2nd one might be breakable. He smiles happily and says "no it won't break...see?" and throws the glass down on the tiled floor. It was loud! Clerks turned to see what was going on etc. Is this part of his cognitive changes? If so, how should I handle things like this?
Dear friend: I have been in similiar situatiions as you when my husband was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's. In our hearts, we do know that this behavior is not one of our dear mates rational behavior but we are still wanting to deny the the evidence of a change in his processing of cognitive reasoning . My husband had always been the strong , decision making, probleem solving half of our marriage and I was reluctant to realiize that he no longer was able to function consistently independently.
I began to know that I must be aware that my husband could conceivably react or iniatiate illogical adult behavior at any time . I had to become more vigilant in my caregiving and not let him do anything potentially harmful as a resilt of is his lapse of logical thinking.
My suggestion is that you make or have small business size cards printed that say something such as "my companion has an illness which affects socially acceptable public behavior. Thank you for understamding. " They can be given discreetly when need arises.
I know that deep in your heart you are aware of the changes in your husband's reasonng and thinking. Hopefully, he will not progress further and can continue to function at his present level. I hope you are not offended by my comments.
Dear Carewife, I cried and cried when I read your words b/c they were exactly what I needed to hear. I think my family members are too much in denial to help me by saying, "yes of course he's not being normal", they just make excuses like "he's just being funny" or "that doesn't sound so unusual to me". I keep being tempted to think it's me being too judgemental or critical. You are right I do know he's different, unpredictable, and sometimes embarrassing. I want to be mature about this and handle it well but I'm in my early 50's (he's mid60's) and I see our social life and my chances to be active in our community dwindling as he doesn't participate consistently in an acceptable way. I'm going to get some of those cards...I need them to help with my own embarrassment. I'm just so sad but I need to be and you helped me very much. Thank you through my tears.
in the beginning phases of my hear husbands diagnosis I too found it difficult to cover up or deny his embarrassing actions in public. he would openly flirt with females in the grocery lines or in restaurants:) and would say comments that were unacceptable and unusually loud and would think he was being funny much to my embarrasment. in my case, it became more isolation due to these issues as i couldnt control his actions in public. he would also say he had to go to the bathroom and would just begin to unzip his pants anywhere without concerns. this is unfortunately a turning point for us who have been social in the past and have frienships that dont understand this mental illness. I am sorry you are having to confront all the issues that accompany dementia related disease. my best to you, divvi
My husband frequently behaves like a child in public. He is obsessed with overweight people and points to them and says "look at that big lady/man'. Also his table manners are terrible. He puts his fingers in his mouth, blows his nose on the napkins. He used to be extremely particular about table manners.He also speaks loudly. When I try to discourage inappropriate behaviour he throws a temper tantrum. This is just another reason that we are becoming more isolated. No doubt it's part of the disease.
You can get those cards from the Alzheimer's Association. If you are in a support group, ask your social worker. If not, call the Alzheimer's Association - 1-800-272-3900.
The front of the card has the Alzheimer's logo on it, and the back says something like - My companion has AD; please be patient with his/her behavior. Those aren't the exact words, because I don't have the card in front of me as I write this, but it's something to that effect.
In some cases, as in the airport when my husband was building up to a rage at the TSA guard (definitely not a good thing), I had to take the guard aside and explain the situation to him. He was understanding, and let us through.
However, you have to be prepared that some people are insensitive and ignorant under any circumstances, and will say hurtful things to you and your LO, no matter what.
oh joan that brings to mind an example of early days when my husband got stopped in the airport everytime due to a metal replaced knee -said harassing things to the 'wand' guy at the airport. husband refused to take off his jacket (even now 10yr later:) but then started a situation that brought more guards to control him. i also had to beg to get thru to him and explain his AD behaviour and luckily they let him thru without recourse. if you must travel with your AD spouse, please let the person at the check point know upfront and allow you to accompany him to avoid this situation as you never know what they will say and it can get them into big trouble...i had forgot this horrible sitatuation and was fortunate to learn from it ..Divvi
We were walking into a restaurant when some young thug turned and said 'don't you dis me.' It was nothing more than a bumper crowd in a doorway, happens all the time, but I thought how easily it could have turned violent if my DH challenged him. My DH also was taken w/small children & dogs. I worried a bit about what moms might think when he approached their little ones. So you get to where you stand btwn your LO & the rest of the world. He never spoke in a crude way, but he could raise his voice & frighten everyone.
As for restaurants, we almost always ate at a local cafe where the staff knew & liked him, made any accommodation I asked for. Even saw him to the men's room. I'd get separate plates, ask for this or that, and take everything movable off the table, cut his food, etc. He'd put catsup on his salad, dip Fr fries into tartar sauce, make a mess--whatever and if strangers looked, well, too bad. But their behaviors do restrict your life, no doubt about it.
Over the yrs, I always tried to be nice/helpful when I saw people in public w/some sort of mental/physical problems, but it can be dicey. You never know how others will react. I remember once when my toddler acted up in a store. I just picked her up & left. I'm sure people had something to say about that mother (me), but we have to do what we have to do. Same w/out LO, don't worry too much about how what others think in a casual setting--I'm sure they've seen worse. Having said all that, I know how hard it is, how worrisome and I wish there was more I could do to help. But I can only offer understanding and support your actions & feelings. It just sucks!
I think picking up your toddler and leaving is exactly the right thing, btw! (I've done it, on many occasions.)
As for the AD husband being particularly delighted by small children to the point where it's a little weird, mine is. He tends to turn and stop and smile at them. Then, instead of moving along (which would be the "normal" practice) he continues to stand there, staring and smiling at the small children, and this is not a man who appears overtly impaired in any way. Nor does he look especially old. (He's 60, looks younger.) So this is especially aggravating to our 17 year old daughter who is certain that he's going to be perceived as a "creeper."
Another funny thing is his complete constitutional inability to pass through a doorway or get off an elevator before anyone else. So sometimes he and someone coming the other way will have a stand-off at the doorway, usually until the other person concedes and goes through. On elevators, if we are going up to the 7th floor, the doors open at 7 and Jeff will not get off because there are other people on the elevator. I happen to know that they don't WANT to get off yet, because I saw them push the 10 button when they got on, so I have to tell him that "this is our floor" and "they're not ready to get off yet" or he won't budge.
It's always a little odd because, for the most part his behavior appears relatively normal.
My big issues in public is my husbands demands to go with me on errands, then his impatience to get back home. He follows me like a puppy dog. And he does just start talking to people as if he knows them, and staring at kids and talking to them as you all describe. He also asks to go to the bathroom absolutely everywhere we are. And he'll speak like a child which is so embarrassing coming from a 71 year old. "I need to go wee-wee. I can't wait. I need a john." Not something that feels appropriate to me, like "could you please direct me to the men's room? or May I use the restroom?" Yes, admittedly I am embarrassed to take my husband out in public. And I also get very nervous that someone is going to take something NOT the way it was intended. If DH gets a dirty look, or a negative reaction believe me, he WILL be the one to start spouting off.
Once again your comments have made me feel fortunate. My wife is a bit inappropriate in eating - using her fingers rather than spoon, fork, or knife some of the time, but most people here in our retirement home seem to understand. The other thing she does which is new is comment on people's clothing, saying "that blouse is beautiful" etc. The comments are alway positive so the person, often a stranger, responds with pleasure. We have given up travel because I fear I will lose her in the rest rooms. Also, she goes through security without a problem, but I have to be wanded due to 2 artificial knees and 1 shoulder. I worry that she will go looking for me while I am being held back. I made up a set of the cards on my computer, but haven't used them yet.
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions. I am learning a lot.
To Marsh: I have a suggestion that may work for you and your wife to travel...If you could get some other couple to go with you, you might take a bus tour t o some place for not over four or five days. You can then have the wife of the couple go with your wife into the restrooms or other places men are not welcome. We did this in the early days of my husband's illness and a male friend went with him into the rest rooms. They would sit with him while I bought any lunch etc. when we were on our own. I found that after four or five days, my husband would be too fatigued so we kept the trips short. That coupled with your cards should help you to do a bit of traveling .
Upon reading Joan's most recent blog, I was struck by an incident that happened several years before my husband's overt Alzheimer's behavior and memory loss. One summer, he and I went on a prolonged trip with my brother and sister in law. All was fine, we had always been excellent traveling companions, until one night we were having a discussion and out of nowhere my husband became enraged, yelled at my sister in law, and would not calm down. His behavior was totally illogical and absolutely unlike him. Our remaining travel days were strained and awkward, he at one time, threatened to take a bus home. He never did apologize and I now wonder if he really remembered the extent of his rage.
This brings me to my question. Do you think a person can exhibit signs of dementia long before they become dysfunctional enough for us to connect these incidents to an illness? It has dawned on me that if this is possible then I can understand a time in our married life that I had not forgiven him for and is a fertile basis for research into the beginnings of dementia. I loved my sister -in-law dearly and at the time she was coping with coloncancer which later killed her so my sympathies were with her. I apologized profusely and she was very forgiving but our relationshiip with her and my brother was never quite the same which I always regretted. If in fact, my husband had been afflicted with the beginnings of ALzheimer's I would be conversely relieved that this was not his fault. This disease is so mysterious that I don't believe I will ever be able to anticipate the twists and turns it takes with our loved ones.
My husband also loves children and dogs.I'm concerned when he makes a fuss about the children as his behaviour may not be understood. He too is a good looking man who appears to be perfectly healthy both physically and mentally. He was diagnosed seven years ago. In retrospect I'm certain the disease was there much earlier. At one time he told me he had some problem with his memory the last year he worked. He was then 56 years old and is now 73. I expect that's why he took an early retirement and was not interested in the many "contract" positions he was offered. Also when speaking he frequently said mmmmmm and I believe now that is was a stall to find he words. He stopped doing that many years ago as I suppose it was no longer working for him. He has never admitted to having AD even tho the doctors talked about it and he has rarely discussed any problem he has. At times he has said "there is something wrong with my head". Recently he told me that "people" talk to him in his head but he doesn't answer.In our case I'm certain the disease was there many years prior to diagnosis. I just didn't recognise the signs. His mother was also an AD victim.
I have heard of several situations where the first sign of AD was unexpected behavior. My next door neighbor knew there was something wrong with his mother when she yelled at him, something she had never done. My wife's change was that she became more affectionate. Our doctor said "Be thankful for small favors".
Your question -"Do you think a person can exhibit signs of dementia long before they become dysfunctional enough for us to connect these incidents to an illness?" - YES, YES, YES. Unfortunately, we don't know that until many years later. I can look back now on "odd" public incidents which make sense in light of the AD diagnosis, but they happened so many years before that I had no idea what was going on.
Before we moved to Florida, we used to come down here every February and April to our time share on Singer Island. One February - I'm guessing it was 2 years before Sid exhibited the memory loss and confusion signs, we were in the pool, and met a couple who came down every year the same week as us. The wife also worked in the schools, so we had a lot in common. She and I spoke for 15-20 minutes, and then swam off. An hour later, I realized that Sid was STILL talking to the husband - he could not stop. The guy's eyes looked glazed, and he had backed up to the pool stairs; Sid was still talking, barely taking a breath. I went over and made an excuse to get Sid away. We saw those people every February after that year, and they never came near us or even acknowledged that they knew us. They stayed as far away as possible. Can't say I blame them. This non-stop talking behavior escalated, and still goes on - I have to give him a signal to stop. It's as if he talks with no periods, commas, paragraphs, or endings. He doesn't seem to know how to end a conversation.
I refer to my husband as a "Chatter Box." This too started before we got the AD diagnosis. He insists he is a people person and has always wanted people around. Huh? I recall the years I just didn't invite folks to our home because he demanded privacy, and liked to relax after work not having to talk to or listen to anyone.
It could be possible that the culprit is not AD but FTD (fronto temporal dementia). This one often starts out with inappropriate social behaviour, but the memory stays in tack for a while. One of my husband's doctors thinks he has FTD and one thinks it's EOAD. Either way the result is the same.
I think absolutely you can be dealing with behavioral issues long before your loved one is diagnosed. For one thing, usually it is a number of years between the beginning of symptoms and diagnosis—so the person actually has the disease, but nobody knows yet.
In my DH’s case, before he was diagnosed there were a lot of instances that made me wonder who I was married to. The person I had been married to for nearly three decades sort of disappeared into a selfish, cranky, erratic person who didn’t seem to care anything about me at all. And when I tried to talk to him about things, this always escalated into a huge argument—with any problem being entirely my fault--which was another new development. Now, looking back, things seem so clear to me. But this was the stage where the doctors kept telling us that he was just depressed—nothing at all about him having dementia. It was another several years before we found out what was causing these episodes.
My husband later told me that a lot of the irritation was caused by the stress of knowing that something was seriously wrong with him—but being told that there wasn’t a problem. Also, since nothing was supposed to be wrong with him, he continued to work at demanding jobs, which added huge amounts of stress to his attempts to function like a normal person. By the time we finally got a diagnosis, it was almost a relief to both of us to have a cause for everything that was happening. (It makes me want to scream when I hear how important early diagnosis is. We went to doctors for several years and had two full sets of neuropsych testing, and they still couldn’t diagnose him. They said that if he was aware of something being wrong, he couldn’t possibly have dementia. And these were specialists in this field!)
I could have written what you just wrote, almost word for word. Once we all start talking to one another it really is amazing how similar our stories are!
Thank you all for your input. It is as if a light bulb lit up in my brain and the behavior of my husband is seen in a understandable, forgiveable, context . I have long held him accountable for how he hurt my sister in law and subconsciously it affected that time in our relationship with my family. My brother and my dear sister are both passed on now but I hope they now understand also the scource of my husband's irrational rage. We have much to learn about this disease .
Nearly 4 years ago when my husband turned 60 I offered to arrange a trip to Europe as he'd never been outside North America. At first he was reluctant but then he decided he'd like to go. Of course jetlag disrupted his sleeping and eating patterns, but he's always loved being around people and gets along with everyone - he's a former pastor who well-respected in our community - and I was puzzled as to why he seemed to be so rude to very nice people that we met as if he was in competition with them for something. He got loud or laughed too much, or refused to hang up his cell phone on some of the tours. Once he suddenly jumped up and grabbed the microphone from the tour guide to angrily disagree with something he'd said. I was amazed and mortified and even though he's talked about taking another trip I've not acted like I want to go. And now I'm thinking he was changing even then. He really "ruined" the social part of the trip for me and I've always wondered why he acted like that as when we spoke about it he seemed just as puzzled as I was and very regretful.
Absolutely, I know my DH had AD for decades before it became a social problem. People would say, 'why did he do/say that?' and I'd get annoyed and say, 'ask him.' He was a little different, a bit quirky and that was part of why I loved him. When I finallly realized 'something' was seriously wrong, I asked our adult children if they'd seen any chgs in Dad recently, and they both said, absolutely, for a couple of years. We had race cars at the time & our son said the pit crew always checked everything Dad touched at least twice. And, yet, no one ever mentioned it to each other. No one said he had dementia, take him to a doc. And when I told others it was always, 'I don't see anything wrong.' The children, of course, only knew their father that way, and it wasn't until they were grown that some things didn't seem right. It was always so vague, so easily explained away, it was stress, whatever. But yes, I saw it all, the talking like Niagra Falls, the odd social responses, his inability to often respond to me in a normal way. I am sad that I didn't know, that I was curt & angry, but I didn't know. And even after I did know, it took me a long time to truly understand what I was dealing w/and how to respond. I just wish I knew then what I know now.
Whenever someone says their LO is recently diagnosed and they are so surprised, I ask them to look back and think of little odd behaviors that had been happening, and always--always--the say, yes, they noticed but dismissed it for one reason or another. So, yes, it's there for a long, long time before it lets us know. Damn disease!
"WE" have experienced most of the behaviors listed here. My husband is very high functioning 99% of the time, but I always have to be on guard for that time that will be eventful in a negative way. He has MCI and can do very complex things - putting moulding up and matching it perfectly, refinanced our house (due to his new behavior of gamlbing that I found out after the fact).He has always been a very quiet staid person - liked to be alone. Now he loves to be with people, laughs all the time - and most of the time it isn't funny. Everyone thinks he is such a jovial cheerful man. He loves to dominate the conversation, making up his stories as he goes along, sometimes very embarrassing, his moods can change in a second and he can be angry, argumentative, knows it all. He loves to tell people what they are doing wrong in their jobs. Cussing and foul, crude language. His problems stem from the frontal lobe area.
He went to the grocery store to get lobster with my grown granddaughter. They did not wait on him when he thought they should, so he took the top off of the lobster tank and took the lobsters out and was waving them around. He got attention very quickly. My granddaughter was shocked as that is so unlike his "proper" behavior.
One of the first signs I noticed that there was something going on with him - that broke my heart - is that he would stop whatever he was doing if an attractive woman walked by and would stare at her like he was in a daze. I could be sitting across from him talking to him, and he was off in his own world. I would have to touch him, shake his arm to get him back. What a blow to my self esteem. He had never done that before. I am sure he was sneaking peeks in the years before as I guess men do, but he sure was smart enough not to be obvious about it.
After I found out that he had money issues, we went to the elder affairs attorney and got all of the documents we need for this time in our lives where I have POA. I also signed up with all of the credit reporting companies that if there is any activity on any of our accounts by anyone, they send me an email immediately. He has willingly given up his credit cards except one that has a low limit on it. This is a man who was always very practical and thrifty.
I haven't told too many people about his condition because when I do, they laugh and tell me that all men do that type of thing,etc. Rather than get understanding and support, I get dismissed instead. He looks a lot better with MCI telling his made up tales than I do telling the truth. Thanks for sharing and the validation. It helps me feel like I am not crazy and making these things up.
F&T My husband is MCI too (as I said above) and I've decided that some of the events when told in isolation could be explained as "well that's just a man", or "he's just being funny/crazy", but the problem is the totality of numerous events and unusual behaviors. But of course I don't have the time or energy to tell everyone the whole picture, nor can I even remember them all, and since i'm tempted to doubt myself, or be in denial ("surely it can't mean this!") I'm reluctant to even try to describe what I'm experiencing except when I'm saddest, most embarrassed. I also keep going back to what happened when I tried to tell the neuropsychologist some of what I'd experienced that worried me, and my husband became very angry and said I was a difficult woman to live with, nagging and perfectionistic, which is very different than what he has said in the past, and says now in the present about our marriage (as long as he's well rested and eating on schedule). And I'm afraid that's what other people will think of me too.
yes indeed the disease may run a rampant behaviour pattern before its every diagnosed. in our case, my husband was a very succesful attorney and when he lost his first case i knew something then and there was amiss as he had never lost one in his career basically. he seemed to struggle thru the court process and questioning of witness and couldnt recall thier answers. this had been a man with photographic recall ability so in my heart i think it started then. dr rxd him with vascular dementia and or/AD..i dont even like to think about all the past but its done and i still love him dearly and know it was not his way of being...Divvi
You have really given me food for thought. I had noticed some really strange behavior in 2002 -- thinking it was May when it was November -- and assumed that was when it all started. But now, I think there were signs for many months before that, more subtle things that simply were not in keeping with his normal behavior. He was such a successful businessman, all his life, but for the couple of years before I "noticed" anything, he just wasn't handling things the way he used to, and he wasn't involving me when he should have. It never occurred to me that might have been part of the AD developing. It caused a lot of problems for our company, and for me. And I have struggled with how I felt about that. It really does make a difference if it might have been the disease, and not him. Wow.
Yes I think that the decease starts a very long time before we ever realize that it's there. Only after we know and we look back over the years we can see some of the early signs that we dismissed as something else. I can see now how my DH covered it up for a long time untill he couldn't get by with it anymore. This is so sad.
Comment Author divvi Comment Time 6 hours ago edit delete
Question to anyone who has legal knowledge? have seen sometimes my DH will relieve himself anywhere if he is unable to find a bathroom in time. recently he did it in the pool off our bridge as we were coming into the house.:) this in itself isnt so horrible at home but what if our loved one 'exposed' himself our herself in public? if my DH has to 'go' to the bathroom he just goes, then and there. i have to be sure to take him before we leave and during outings. can an AD person be arrested for indecent exposure or any legal issues here? i know a lady whose ADmom exposes her breasts in public..just wondering, i keep a super eye on hubby in public at this point but was wandering this legality? divvi
I moved your question into this already existing discussion topic to avoid repetition of topic names.
Your DH's behavior is not uncommon with AD. As to the legal issue, I don't know for sure. I am guessing that if you explain the situation and/or carry a letter from the doctor affirming his AD condition, I would think the authorities would be understanding.
My husbands public behavior was unnerving to say the least. He handed quarters and golf balls ( of which he always seemed to have an abundance in his pocket) to total strangers at the mall. My husband was also entranced with babies and little children and always wanted to touch their face or hands. Moms really don't appreciate this, to say the least. I found that by linking my arm with his, I could move him on in a timely manner. Now may be the time for Depends that he can't get off too easily. Frequent bathroom breaks may also help. This behavior does become limiting. Now my husband is so slow that taking him any where is almost impossible as he refuses to use a wheelchair for anything that requires walking nmore than a few steps. My husband also is a wanderer and I find myself continually calling his name to come back. When he is distracted, I explain he has AD. Most people are extremely understanding, some even keep an eye on him if I need to focus for a few minutes.
My wife also seems entranced with babies, but she just looks at them and comments on how nice they look, so the mother's seem to appreciate it. She also comments, favorably, on just about everyone's clothing. People also seem to appreciate this. My biggest problem in going places with her is that, unless I hold her hand, she lags behind me, usually directly behind so I can't see her. So I take her hand and we walk like a couple of young people fallling in love (which we are).
I've only gotten to page 4 and I've found the answers to half a dozen situations that have been driving me crazy. This link needs to be on the front page!
She has an very stilted writing style in the beginning, but once you get past the introduction where she is trying to explain to the pros why she is writing what she is writing the way she is writing it becomes impossible to stop reading.
Great article..going to make copies of it and give them to family and friends that keep saying to me "...But he seems OK to me" One of the best articles I have read.
If you go to the home page of the website and "refresh" it, you will see a link to that article up near the top. I haven't finished reading it, but from what I have read, it is one of the best I have ever seen.
Comment Author briegull CommentTime 24 minutes ago edit delete
I agree it's a great article. According to Wikipedia, there are 24 million people worldwide with AZ; I'm trying to see how this compares with people with, say, MS, or breast cancer. In any event, the point is that it is EXTREMELY common.
Just as we all know someone who's had breast cancer or whose relative has, we all know someone who's been affected by Alzheimer's. And almost everyone, when they know you're dealing with it, will be accepting. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE if your spouse makes an inappropriate remark in public. Maybe, I guess, you would be responsible if you were still taking daddy-o out and he were reacting inappropriately to little girls, or wandering into the street, but don't let language, and mild inappropriate behavior, however distressing it is to you, get to you too much. Roll your eyes and keep on going.
I'll never forget having lunch at the zoo with a friend. Our kids were 3-4 years old. Her little boy suddenly - and in one of those silences that sometimes happens even in noisy places - announced quite loudly I HAVE TO URINATE. WHERE CAN I FIND A URINAL?
I was mortified, but he was obviously proud that he'd learned a new word. A husband who announces the same thing is probably proud that he's remembered to react to the urge! In neither case is it the end of the world. And it may make someone with what seems to them an insurmountable problem (like my friend who called last night to announce she was going to sue her next-door neighbor for planting annuals on HER side of the property line) - it may make them realize that their problems aren't so large, after all.
I searched for a topic that relates to our experience today and found this one where I can share my embarrassment.
Today we had a potluck after worship at our small congregation where everyone knows my hb situation. He was sitting next to a man who was eating his dessert, a piece of applie pie with a glaze on it. Hubby looked at it and said, "That looks like it has snot on it." If I could have crawled under the table.....The gentleman next to him wears 2 hearing aids and said, "What"? I hope he REALLY didn't hear. I quietly told hb the comment was inappropriate, and he quietly told me to stay out of it and mind my own business. Didn't seem anyone heard our conversation or they were kind and ignored it. Another first (see sundowning for another)--rude comments in public. Perhaps it's time for us to stay home. Maybe I'll print some "business" cards....
Me, i'd say 'snot maybe, but its good snot, you wanna taste?? :) thats how you learn to answer after a few yrs dealing with AD! haha. just go with the flow. it can get alot worse..Divvi
In July, we went to dinner with another couple. The husband had a cold, and I watched in disbelief when he blew his nose in the cloth napkin!!!!!!!!!! His wife said nothing. At least our LO's have the excuse of dementia!