I received this e-mail from a widow who is facing a financial crisis. She asked me to post it for her. Anyone have any advice? Jane?
My husband passed away on April 27th, after 37 years together, and the last 9 battleing Alzhiemers. I spoke to our elderlaw attorney, and since we were married, I am responsable for all the bills, in both of our names, and medical bills. I cant pay all the bills with my income. He had no pension or anything. The attorney said all I can do is call my creditors and explain to them and see what arrangements they will make with me.Several were already turned over to collection agencys that I was paying. Our home is paid for,but my credit is bad, and cant use it for a loan , already tryed that. I just wanted to know if there is anything or anywhere a widow can go to get help? what am I to do?,,,, any info you can give will be appreciated. thank you
One thing is to contact those she owes, explain her low income, ask if there are any programs that she qualifies for to get the debt forgiven.
She doesn't state her age, but if old enough she could do a reverse mortgage on the house. I doubt credit rating would affect that since she owns it free and clear and the bank doing the reverse mortgage would have a lien on the house.
Another option is contacting credit counseling services. They will contact the creditors, figure out how much she can pay and she makes payments to them and they pay your creditors. Just make sure they are a reputable service.
The last if file bankruptcy. Depending on who all she owes, much could be wiped out. This would be a last resort though.
If you apply for a reverse Mortgage be careful as they are full of fees people are not aware of. Also if you ever want to leave the home the amount is payable in full. Might dig yourself in deeper if you do that. It is a hard decision to make.
I would first call all creditors, tell them your situation, tell them you will be filing bankruptcy unless you can work something out with them. One by one do this, if you are able to get the bills to a point that you can make the monthly payment then that would be your best route, if not I would definitely look into bankruptcy, you will be allowed to keep your home. I would do a reverse mortgage as a last resort.
Hello,, I am the widow you speak of, I am only 56, so reverse morgage is out, ,,and cant draw on hubbys Social Security till I am 60, Talked to a crediting councelor a while back, and tryed to get on a payment plan, but they said if I made another $700. a month they could, do it,, I thought if I had another $700. a month I could pay my bills, they told me to get two jobs,, I already work 10 hour days,,and am tired now ,,,, Thank You formthe info,,, kathy
Oh,Katanshelties, I am so sorry. It is 4 a.m. here in WV, I am the one with the garden which may die tonight. I have awaken twice tonight to check the temperature and it is now 36, In a way, I guess I am grieving for our garden because I put a lot of work in it already and sit and watch it grow.
I hope you can find peace and a solution to your financial problem. With this economy financial situations are on all our minds. Jane, if you read this Katanshelties needs your wonderful advice and assistance with her financial situation. Jane has become overwhelmed (I think with trying to take care of all of our financial questions) that she needed to take a well deserved rest.
Keep this website handy and check in with us frequently. We will want to hear from occasionally and how you are doing. You can maybe help someone else out of a difficult financial situation after you get something worked out on yours.
Love and ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))) Lois
Hello Kathy I am not a widow but find myself in a similar situation. I too am 56 and struggling. Bankruptcy is looking better to me everyday. I know it's not the best solution but I don't have other options. If bankruptcy wipes out your other debts can you afford to keep your home? (utilities,taxes,insurance) If not, would you consider selling your home and paying off your debts? You could find a nice apartment and start over. How sad that one struggle is only replaced by another. I am actually looking forward to downsizing and simplifying my life. I will feel no shame when the time comes for bankruptcy. I refuse to be a victim of dementia. It's bad enough it's taking my husband. Hope this is of some help to you. Hang in there! cs
cs, I agree with you. And, if you can afford to make your mortgage payments, and upkeep on the house, you won't lose it in bankruptcy. You should not feel any shame if you must file. This disease, as you say, is bad enough, without destroying the spouse' life too. ((((hugs to you and Katanshelties))))
Let me add too, I'm not yet 49, widowed by AD, have 17 yr old and 18 year olds in school, no job, and bills. And I find myself in alot of fear over our financial situation too. I have too much equity in the house to qualify for reduction in interest, or re-fi. I can't refi cuz I've been caregiving the last 5 plus years (Mom, then my DH), and without current job with "history" I've been told I can't qualify for any loan. SUCKS!
Oh, New Realm, my heart aches for you and your family. You and others here are so young to have to be going through this financial crisis through no fault of your own. The disease is bad enough to sorrow through. May God wrap arms around you tight and we also do here.
I'm so sorry to hear about the financial trouble people are having on top of having been caregivers in such a stressful situation.
Anyone who is contemplating bankruptcy down the road might want to consider very gradually building up a cash reserve. If you can manage to put aside even 5 or 10 dollars a week in an "untouchable" place as an emergency reserve fund, it might be a real blessing to have some cash on hand down the line if you have to declare bankruptcy.
I am so so sorry that you have this to deal with on top of everything else.
I don't have any personal information about this, but it might be time to talk to a lawyer who specializes in bankruptcy and get their advice on how to proceed. There may be ways to help you out of this situation.
New Realm*-- if you're not already, get with Soc. Sec. for survivor benefits for your child(ren). As his dependents they qualify for support until age 18 or High School graduation--whichever comes last.
Bankruptcy isn't an ideal solution, but it does get you out from under that unmanageable load. The house gets included during the process, but you ReAffirm it immediately after. That way you just keep paying the mortgage, taxes and insurance. Your monthly living expenses of course have to be taken care of, but no more credit card bills, creditors calling,etc. It will take time but you can rebuild your credit standing and in the meantime you learn by necessity how to save for things, and budget for them, and how to postpone purchases, which lets you decide if they're really what you want to spend your money on. When bad crap causes the need to do this, there is no stigma to doing it for a new start. If you were doing it because of irresponsible spending it would be a different thing. It can be a good choice, if other avenues are closed to you.
As far as the "stigma" of bankruptcy, I totally agree with carosi. People who went wild with spending, re-fied their houses multiple times during the boom, and now are underwater -- no sympathy. Someone who has been placed in financial jeopardy because OUR SYSTEM does not adequately help people who are struggling with the high costs of medical problems and long-term care -- THAT is what bankruptcy is designed for, to give good people a chance to start over with a clean break from past financial struggles.
No reasonable person could possibly think less of anyone for resorting to this strategy. It's just terrible that we do not have a safety-net system in place to protect people dealing with these kinds of problems so that this never arises.
A while back there was a question on this site about what were the biggest stressors in this AD business. Seems like most asnwered with MONEY being the number one issue. I know this isn't very comforting to you right now, but it did make ME feel better when I saw I wasn't the only one trying to figure out how to make it all work. Keep us posted. There are some good ideas here.