This past week I have had landscapers come & cut away sod, I am going to add to the landscaping of our house. Since it has rained everyday since they were here, they just came back to till the dirt, so it wouldn't be so hard for me to dig the holes for the shrubs....husband can't help with this, I found out last year he has no idea how to use the shovel. Anyway, getting back to the subject. He came in the house yelling that someone was tearing up the yard. I tried to explain it was okay, I had ask them to do this for me. Went right over his head, I have spent the last 10 minutes trying to explain, which I find myself doing all the time. I spent all week explaining why I was buying shrubs...not that he cares. I hear myself telling him things that he either does not comprehend or remember 2 minutes after I mentioned it. I heard myself tell my son the other day that "I was telling your Dad" I guess it is just a habit that is hard to break. Always discussed things, ask his opinion, however, when will I learn he no longer has an opinion. Seems like most of the time I am speaking to a blank wall, I would get the same response. I hate this disease & everything it has taken away from me.
Kadee I do the same thing even though I know he won't always remember what I am telling him or explaining. I think it's partly because old habits never die, but also because part of me wants to pretend that everything is "normal" and the way things used to be with us. We ALWAYS consulted with each other on decisions and sought each others' opinions and advice--I really miss that!
I do the same thing with DW, in the hope that maybe this time I will get a response, and things would appear normal like they used to. But usually I get a kind of blank stare or a mumbled incoherent 'answer'.
By the way, what does it mean when you folks sometimes end with "LOL"? Lots of luck, lots of love, or what? Thanks!
I find more and more that I just change the subject or don't answer at all. It's a waste of breath. I say "I don't know" or "Really?" ..all the time. He's getting quieter and quieter, so I think we've moved out of that stage..
I continue to explain what I'm going to do or am doing and why. Or answer a question of his in simple terms. None of which he may remember later, but he says "Don't talk to me like I'm a 3-yr old." I want to respond "Why not; that's what you are"? But, like everyone else, I've learned to stiffle it. Patience must surely be next to godliness. :)
When my husband asks if we are going to stay here for a while, I go into the routine that we have lived here for 44 years, raised our children here etc. I have no idea when I am going to learn. I too get the blank look or a statement that has nothing to do with what we are talking about.
I do as much as I can to share the overall details of our daily lives - usually don't even get a look, very seldom a response. I think if I don't try to share, I will feel so much more alone. Now, who is having the problem with reality.
I told my husband we were going to the beach for a week later this month. He has asked me about a dozen times since then we we were going to get to go. He wants to go NOW. Remember the rules about not telling our small children vacation plans or exactly when Santa was coming until about five days before. Same scenario. We all forget. It's surreal to say the least.
for the last couple of days DH has been sleepy to say the least - napping on the couch almost all day yesterday and until 1pm today. i am blaming the moon:) no uti, everything there is good. once hes up hes fine.. guess what. he wouldnt budge, open eyes nothing for 2 hrs i prodded him with cookies and cafeeine to get him up. then i just said, come on get up and i will take you' home'...his eyes opened and he sat up and said ok lets go! amazing. even in deep sleep the 'going home' 9yrs into this disease still rings a bell = and we thought they'd forget! haha. divvi... ps we did get out for over 2yrs which was nice!
OK, maybe it is the moon today. DH has been even more repetitive in his questions and comments than usual today, and it has had me on edge most of the day. My interior voice screams, "OK already, please shut up and leave me alone!" I do try to keep him up to speed on plans with friends and family, but then I have to explain it over and over...and over (gotten pretty good at being calm and patient MOST of the time.) Today he got annoyed with me when I tried to give him directions on sorting out some plastic bags and he yelled out, "###, it's all the time!" So what did I let fly? "Well, you drive ME crazy all the time!" Tomorrow will be a better day.