I was just wondering if a lot of you use the cards I have seen mentioned by some people, the cards that say ..."the person you are with has AD, so please be patient". Where did you get them? When and how can they be used? I'm not sure if I want to use them or not.
I'd probably use my computer and make my own using business card Avery cards and say something like: My husband has dementia; thank you for being patient with us." and put some sort of clip art on it. My husband has vascular dementia; I've thought about these cards, but like you am not sure if/when I'll use any. I have excused myself from table in restaurant ostensibly to use the restroom so I could let the waiter know our situation on the QT.
I made mine on the computer. You can get them from the Alzheimer's Assoc. You can easily slip them to a person your LO will be acting out on. Makes life easier on you. I especially used it in restaurants. It's funny now-but not then-my family was leaving a restaurant-I walked out first. Unknown to me a greeter had placed his hand on my husband's shoulder and got decked. Husband did not like to be touched. Those cards do come in handy.
You can get them from your local Alzheimer's Association chapter. Many people I know do use them. The only time I have needed it, the situation was too tense to use it. I had to talk our way out of it. Sid was starting to argue with a TSA agent at the airport ( a BIG NO-NO). A card would not have worked - I had to take the agent aside and talk to him. He was nice about it, and let us on the plane.
My daughter printed us some on her computer and I use them all the time. Especially in resteraunts so that the waitresses understand. I have also given them to parents of small children that are sitting nearby because my LW gets so excited over the children. She makes faces and waves to them and the kids like it also. After one couple with 2 girls received the card they really encouraged the girls to wave back to Carol. As they were leaving, they brought the two girls and apparentol with some prior prompting, both talked to Carol. The youngest actually climbed up in Carol's lap and gave her a big hug and a kiss. It made my LO so happy.
Also use them at Drs office and sometimes at retail stores. Especially when we were shopping for bras. Both of my kids have their own cards and have used them also. Carol does not have a clue as to what we are doing and the results have been great. Try it,---- you'll like it.
I haven't used the card yet--have been carrying it in my wallet for a few years. Just knowing I have it gives me a little peace of mind, in case something comes up.
i always just quietly let the person know he has AD and they all nod and are quite good about it usually. i think its better to let them know upfront if possible. divvi
I do the same, divvi. I usually preceed him going to a table at a restaurant and will alert the waiter/waitress as we are walking. Everyone has been so very nice in our case. Of course, a lot of time DH will tell them he has Alz.!
I remembered reading this discussion when it first appeared. It popped into my head today when DH and I went to a brand new restaurant. The menu for the all day breakfast was very large and kind of complex. It really threw my hubby and he had a hard time deciding, even with me coaching him . Poor waitress had to come back three times to see if we were ready. I really wanted the girl to understand and not be frustrated. We might be ready for a card.
The cards are great. I used them ever time we went out when DH was home. Now he needs lots of help as he can no longer decide so in order to keep from having the waitress keep returning I tell them that we are going to enjoy going over your lovely selection and if you don't mind I will signal you when we are ready. This usually works well and I notice that they just keep an eye on us but leave us alone. Using the cards for the families is a great idea. DH loves children and animals so that will help take away their fears. There is a small park near his residence and he goes there all summer and talks to the Mom and me groups that meets there every morning in good weather and there are lots of dogs and two orange cats that love his attention.