I used to be very methodical and organized. Because we had four children and both of us worked, and our children were active in Church activities, Boy and Girl Scouts, sports, etc., we had a calendar tacked on the inside of the pantry where everyone had to list what they had to go to and when, so that I could chart out where we had to be at given times each afternoon, evening and weekends. My house had to be kept straightened, and everything had a place. The kids had to clean their rooms on Saturdays before we left to go do fun things. We were all able to have a lot of fun and do a lot of things as a family BECAUSE I organized everything, and everyone appreciated it.
When I suspected my husband of having Alzheimer's, I failed myself for the first year. I did NOT write down everything, and when I took him to his doctor's office, the doctor didn't believe me. By the next year, I wrote EVERYTHING down, had Googled Alzheimer's, researched the disease, and had my facts of my husband's symptoms and quirks organized and detailed. I got the tests, MRI and PET scan for my husband and got the diagnosis I knew was correct.
It was then learned that I didn't have patience. And that everything didn't have to be done on a certain day, nor at a certain time. It no longer matters if there is some dog hair on the carpet until tomorrow, or dust bunnies under the bed. If it doesn't get done today, there is always tomorrow. I used to have a list of "To Do" for each day. If I get one or two done, that's fine. I'll add the rest to tomorrow's list.
I used to get impatient at doctors' offices. Now it doesn't bother me as much. I KNOW I will have to wait and come prepared (snacks for him and a book for me!). (I get him to leave his vibrating toothbrush in the car!) <grin>
I know this sounds weird, but I'm more relaxed about things now. I know I can't alter what is happening to him...it is beyond my control. I hate it, but I can't change it. I just try to find pieces of happiness each day we have left.
Wow, Mary, you have said it all - I could have said that!!! Only thing I haven't gotten over is waiting in the doctor's offices. Like you, I "just try to find pieces of happiness each day..."
thats funny Mary, i became somewhat the reverse:) i never kept lists or to do papers. until now. everything is written down, calendars with every appt and the results! ahha. blood tests, labs, hair appt:) vets, unbelievable how organized i have become. house organizing is still needed but over all i find myself pecularly happy with having it all under control. ok, here i am back in pooland but i even keep a log of WHEN/HOW and if a whole bath or half bath was needed. this way i get an idea of when/what is normal for planning ahead-and another log for myoclonous jerks when/how serious/how much med /etc... like you say its quite a lot of changing that goes on but sometimes not all for the worse. neat freaks -uh-humm... learn to relax a bit and loosen up and take things in stride, and unorganized like me learn to organize and crack a whip now and then. changes? oh yeah, some good/some not so good-its inevitable with the endless unknown of AD divvi
Well, like Mary, we had 5 kids, I also worked outside the home after they got older. And, I always like to have everything done in a certain way at a certain time. No one seemed to complain. They were all pretty good about helping me out.
And, I learned to be more patient, HOWEVER, like Divvi--I keep logs of just about everything so when we see the dr.I can give him a clear picture. I'm still not too good about snacks for him/book for me. But I am learning.
I am more relaxed now than I used to be. But I do get lonesome for adult conversation. He hasn't talked to me in several days. He can still talk. He just doesn't. I don't know why. I asked him if everyything was ok and he said 'sure.'
Same here Mawzy. DH was taking his shower during the Derby Race today. When he got out I was excited and tried to share about the race with him. He had no interest at all. Just deflates you.
lmohr, I wish we had been on the phone together during that muddy race. I had thought about the Dubai entries, that were flown to Louisville in a specially outfitted jet airliner...and their wealthy owners.... vs. the retired school teacher/principal who had trained his own horse, cleaned out their stalls, ...
Then the winner!!! 50 to 1 odds, that had been transported from New Mexico to Louisville in a simple horse trailer behind a pick up truck driven by the owner and the trainer. My kind of WOW!!! woooo woooo! My husband came in after the race was over and I started telling him all about it with the side stories...I was bubbling over... until I noticed he had turned his head and was looking out the window with is blank stare.
Welcome to "our world"... huh? At least we can still find something exciting to watch on TV once in a while.