As per several of your suggestions, I have consulted yet ANOTHER attorney, one specialilzing in Elder Law. When John was released from the psych unit here in Virginia after threatening to hurt me and his daughters took him away with them, a doctor there signed a letter attesting that he was capable of making his own decisions. (wow). My power of attorney was terminated immediately and reassigned to SOMEONE .(John doesn't remember doing that)... no one will tell me who. Beneficiaries of his annuity were changed (John doesn't remember that)....the only backup source of funds he had left. Because of the divorce proceedings that were initiated (he doesn't remember that) our family funds were frozen. He owes about 40,000 in taxes for 2007. I don't have it. He says that the only hope I have is that they get him stablized so he can think and understand and sign power of attorney over to me and then I apply for conservatorship. I'm confused, though. I think If I have conservatorship, a POA is moot. I keep calling the hospital trying to find John awake to take my phone call. My last attempt, I felt like I was talking to the Devil himself. They're just keeping him medicated, I don't think they're trying any mood altering drug therapies. Help. Lonely. Lost and forgotten. I'm afraid to visit him again....money is a problem for one thing and when I get there, I dont want to be screamed at and called names all the time. But, I need to talk to the doctors. No one will let me. All they can say is he's fine. He IS NOT.
If money is becoming a problem for you (and you seem to be concerned with that) try calling your local legal aid service, who are often located with or near your local area agency on aging) and see who is there that might want to take on this thing. They're usually pretty familiar with this stuff, it is what they are supposed to do. If you can, maybe get a friend or relative you trust to go with you as an extra set of eyes and ears. There is no shame in having backup. With me, I seem to need to get on with things by trusting my gut feelings on start at point A, then B and so on. If you don't trust something then check it out thouroughly. It makes things go slower but in the long run its easier than trying to go back and undo things after they're done and dusted. I wish you all the best, and you're in a bit of a jam right now but, one thing at a time.