When my DH was first diagnosed with AD nearly 6 years ago I had no idea this would be so hard. At first it actually brought us closer, since we now knew why he "never listened to me" and why I was "keeping secrets". As time goes by the closeness slips away and I am left being Mom most of the time. Thankfully we got most of the legal work in order while he could still read, sign and understand. We live out in the country in Eastern Washington and after the winter of 2007-2008 we both realized we couldn't stay here another winter without help. We agreed to have my single 36 year old son move to the property. We got him a small trailer but he showers and eats in the house. He has been a Godsend for me. Not only someone to do the outside chores (Bring in wood and do the snow removal) but he is someone to talk to and vent. The AD is now progressing a lot faster and my DH is totally incontenent and completely dependent on me. The problem is that he has forgotten who my son is or that we invited him to live here or why. He has taken a definite dislike to Dennis and makes nasty comments to him and about him while he is in the house. It is driving my son away and he stays with friends a lot of the time. It is really hurting me, but it is worse when Dennis is here and my DH is being so nasty to him. Does this last forever? Is there any way to calm it down. I really miss my son and am starting to resent my DH for being so mean spirited. I intellectually know this is something he cannot help but emotionally it is driving me crazy. He thinks Dennis is my boyfriend or just someone off the street that keeps coming into the house. When I tell him it is my son he always says he didn't know and nobody told him....then he forgets.
Oh, my. This has to be more than difficult. I can't imagine. I don't have the problem, but someone out there will respond to you shortly that can help you more than I can. My prayers are with you, your DH and your son. How painful for him. I'm really sorry you are going through this.
gmaewok, I really feel for you and understand you really have a problem I have never dealt with but I am sure others here will come forward for ways to make this situation better for youl Have you consulted with your Neuro about this? What meds is he on?
My DH also imagines boyfriends, etc. I can hardly speak to a man without him accusing me of something and this seems to be a pretty common things with this disease.
Just hang in there until the sleepers awaken. (((((HUGS))))))
It is now 4 in the morning here in WV and my DH just got up and took all his clothes off and did a sponge bath (his second tonight). He seems to imagine himself having an odor which I can't detect. I have to help him redress.
Imohr, he is on Namenda, Razadyne (generic now), Lisinopril for high blood pressure, Risperdone, and Lexapro. I wonder if there are other meds that would work better for the paranoia and anxiety. Doctors seem hesitant to prescribe very much.
gmaewok, your son is a lifeline for you at this point. i would also try to mellow DH out either by an RX change or modification in doseage. my DH was hostile while on namenda and razadyne. when we took him off he became quite docile but this is rare and usually a change in the doseage and or another drug would work better in your case. i would definately get in touch with doctor and ask what can be done. you dont want him to run off your help, on top of it being emotionally hard for the son who is only try ing to help you. divvi