shadowbaby, if you feel comfortable discussing them here go ahead. Otherwise some of us have our e-mail listed under out profile. I think you will find someone here has seen or heard every possible thing you could imagine.
Welcome to my website. You will find a wealth of information and support here. However, we can't help you with so little information. Has he been diagnosed with AD or some other form of dementia? What weird things is he doing? What is his age and length of time he has been exhibiting strange behaviors?
Please be sure to log onto the home page of the website - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read through all of the resources on the left hand side. I would suggest starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New member"; "Understanding the Dementia Experience" and "previous blogs".
But first, tell us a little more so we can know how to help.
Joang thanks for responding, and yes my hubby has been diagnosed with dementia but more tests are needed for specific type, although that is what I do know. The behavior I refer to is hoarding/hiding food, taking my personal items such as wallet, keys, purse, etc. And forgetting he did it. I always eventually find them and he'll say something like "that guy upstairs(our apt building) must have taken it (whatever it Is) and probably felt bad and brought it back. Those kinds of things. He's getting worse with money issues too, and I need to protect myself that way.
The hoarding is BIG issue with AD. I am bringing two hoarding discussion topics up to the top for you to read. They last post will say ttt, which means to the top.
Shadowbaby, can't stress enough that you must take charge of all finances. You must hide your purse etc (leave one out for him to take with useless stuff in it) You must get into electronic banking. And you must take charge of your mail so he doesn't get it and misplace it. Note I'm saying MUST on these things. You may think, well who is SHE to say that? BUt I'm sure everyone here will back me up!
the 'guys' and the 'kids' and the 'people in the mirror' oh yeah, we all visit with them regularly around here!!!! many of us have spouses that 'see' other persons- things disappear, things get dirtied-ie bathrooms,:) and the other guy did it or the kids or whomever-you just have to get in their world usually at some point and then let it go=they can be full of hallucinations and paranoia. its not unusual at all- there are good meds to help with this -you can speak with his drs. divvi
He sounds "textbook" AD, with the issues you report. It's odd, because they don't come on all at once. Then it dawns on us one day that this is just not right! When the doctors asked me, when did he begin doing this..or that...and the dates would reach further and further back..I couldn't believe I didn't notice the changes THEN! But few of us did. We understand! That's what we do best!
Nancy B, yes that is exactly right! Why didn't I realize it was too wrong back when it started? Well, whatever,what's done is done. On to the next situation.
Think about it--if all your stuff was "missing" all the time--day after day--wouldn't you think someone took it? My husband says I move things around to mix him up. He acts like he's kidding, but I know he really means it. I say "Yes, you're right. I don't have anything to do, so I move your things around." Two can play this game!
Regarding behavior, can someone tell me why my hubby cries at times? Like when I,m explaining why something is or why something is true, and is a fact. He doesn't outright cry just the tears are there. Is it frustration or something? Reminds me of being pregnant, I would cry at the drop of a hat. It tears me apart to see him cry. It was hard for me to ask but if I can make it stop I will try?
I'm not sure, but I think your idea of frustration is probably right. He knows he is not "getting" or "processing" what you are saying, and he cries in frustration and sorrow. Maybe. Just my guess.
i believe the desperation and reality of their situation surfaces at times. i know for a fact my DH tears up at times out of the blue and says i am 'good to him or that i am a good person..' so somewhere in there mind is a lucid moment. the despair of knowing they have this disease and the final outcome -well-they may know more than we think. it would depress anyone. divvi
Divvi, you are so right....I used to call it the "drawbridge" moment...when all the snyapses were firing and realization would set in. I would see the fear, anxiety, anger and then sorrow come across my poor husband's face. He would then apologize for "everything".....try to tell me how much he cared and then the drawbridge would open again and the blank stare and confusion would reign supreme. I hated those moments...I didn't want him to realize what was happening.....
I'd like to know just how the doctor knows an AD patient feels better as they get worse? From some of the posts here I wouldn't think so. They seem to get depressed or angry or agitated and I don't think any of those things would make anyone feel better.
When my husband feels emotion, he almost tears up - something he never did before. It reminds me of - remember when Jim Brady, Reagan's press secretary who was shot, and he'd be on TV with his incredibly strong wife, and he'd start to say something and he'd tear up... it reminds me of that. I suspect my husband's TIAs or some such rupture in synapses has done that.. Today we were watching a performance of the Beethoven choral fantasy, something we've always enjoyed together, sitting together and holding hands, and it was a very tender moment. He felt it too.
This did not, of course, prevent him from wandering into the kitchen after going to the bathroom and turning the burners on high so he could dry off the few spots he'd gotten on his pants (outside the depends).
FIrst time that's happened. I pretty much shadow him when he walks around (he is very slow with walker or cane).. At least he wasn't taking off the trousers to put them on the fire, and when I chastised him, he said, yes, I know I shouldn't have done that. I won't do it again.
Re: the tears. Since their emotions are often affected in certain stages of dementia, could the "tears/sadness" emotion just be a stage of that affectation? I have had no experience with this so far, but I just wonder if there is a connection.
my DH has been tearing up off/on since day one. all these yrs like a light bulb goes off and he knows whats going on, then the switch is turned back off.. divvi
My dh has gotten more emotional - he never use to comment or get upset with politics but he does now. And, of course, he forgets it was on the news yesterday or earlier and he loudly commented - so unlike him.
My husband never cried before but now he can tear up at the drop of a hat. He can go from laughing to crying in a second. If I ask him whats wrong, he'll usually just say sorry and the tears are done. Don't know if they are real or not.
My DH will be sitting in his chair and when I look over, he's weeping. I go to comfort him and he will grab for me to hug him tightly and hold him close. When I ask him what's troubling him, he says "I just love you so much. You won't leave me, will you?" I assure him I will NEVER leave him. Then he feels better and has no memory of the incident.
It's really very sad.
We've also gone through him losing the mail (bills) and other stuff of mine. He has taken stuff that I've treasured (i.e., an antique picture that belonged to my mother when she was a child). Months later it surfaced. It was in his drawer under his undershirts. He was completely clueless. I didn't even bother to question him about it.
I pay bills on line now just to make sure they get paid. I take care of everything--he makes no decisions at all.
My Dh also tears up a lot. Very emotional about a lot of things now when he wasn't before ALZ. I do think they get a "clear"moment and realize somewhat what is happening to them. I hope surely they will forget what is happening. So very sad.