What do you do when family member in our home gets into heated discussion with LO_with AD (my spouse).
LO says something then other family member, SH, then says nasty things that get my spouse all upset. I've walked into a couple of these diatribes by SH. Breaking in and separating them stops the verbal abuse.
SH is clueless and doesn't acknowledge she has done anything. This has occurred three times. LO is forgiving, plus doesn't remember details. Following the diatribe LO is very upset and asks me to call our social worker (support person for LO) and get advice etc.
This time I did call SW. Since abuse is verbal and not physical SW has no answer except to contact our elder care attorney to see what they suggest.
Can I get a restraining order and force SH (87yrs old) to move out of our home?
DM- i see you are new. welcome. at 87yr old that is a question unto itself:) i know the elderly can say/do things off the charts and honestly i think they can suffer denile dementia at that age and its quite normal. :) i do know how upsetting it can be for your AD spouse. i think it would be rather unethical morally at this poiint to get a restraining order on a 87yr old? thats just my opinion-they can be quite difficult to live with at this age dementia or not!. it depends on who owns your house, if this person is just a visitor or legally lives with you. they may have rights if they live with you. you need to contact an elderlaw atty to see-or if you have legal power of atty maybe over this person? if they are financially-mentally able to live alone if you turn them out? SH? whats this stand for?:) if it were me and i was dealing with an 87yr old who disturbs my spouse, i would try to distance them during the day, maybe one of them could attend day care for adults?? maybe other members here will have more suggestions. again, glad you are here and the help you will need during your journey..divvi
DM, welcome! Your situation is one (of many) I haven't come across. I don't know what SH stands for either. Given the age 87, I thought it might be your husband's mother, but I'm guessing. The advice the others have given you sounds good to me. If that person has any legal right to the house and is of sound mind, your hands are probably tied. If you have to take care of the 87 year old, I would try telling that person that the doctor has said that your husband should not be exposed to stress and arguments for health reasons and see if she will listen. Ear plugs work if they use them! Please keep us posted!
I'm afraid that the blanks I'm filling in for SH are S*** Head ! LOL
Seriously, it sounds like SH is not just clueless, but has brain function issues of her own. I know people who are around 90 and they would certainly not behave as you describe. Sounds like SH needs to be evaluated too.
That sounds good! Sister (of) husband! I think Charlotte guessed it. It would also make sense that they would be squabbling. Brothers and sisters do that! As they regress, they go back into the time when they would pick and fuss. That's all you need! I am so sorry!