Since this EOAD has happened (2003), I find myself eating anything in sight especially junk food even though I am not hungry. Of course, I have gained some weight with this type of eating. I have tried diets but with no success. We walk every day. I do all of the yard work, house work and you'd think I could lose a lb now and again but no. Does anyone else suffer from this type of eating? How do we break the cycle and what do you replace it with? Donuts are my comfort food.
I can relate to everything you said except for the EOAD. My DH has Parkinism with AD and VD and spinal stenosis. Oh, no I don't do the yard work and little housework. I have become lazy and my DH wants donuts every day we go to town. Had to go up a size today, first time for 3 years.
Oh, but you have come to the right place for a discussion on emotional eating. I am an EXPERT on the subject. When I was young, I ate because I was miserably unhappy. When I married Sid, I ate because I was deleriously happy. I eat when I'm bored, nervous, stressed, happy, unhappy, and sometimes even when I am hungry.
I am such an expert on this that I am twice the person I was at my 1970 wedding. (And I was only that tiny size, because I had starved myself for 5 straight years)
I have even taught classes on "breaking the cycle". It is done with behavior modification. Unfortunately, I don't follow the plan. If I did, I wouldn't be in the pickle (vat of chocolate) that I am currently in.
The short version of behavior modification is to identify your triggers, and replace the eating behavior with something that will ease what is really bothering you. For example, if boredom triggers you to eat, you're supposed to do something to alleviate the boredom as soon as you feel it coming on, rather than try to stop it when your head is already in the refrigerator. If you know stress is a trigger, you're supposed to have a list of things ready to do as soon as you feel stress coming on - like take a mile walk; pull weeds (I have a friend who has NO weeds in her garden, because weeding is her stress reliever).
Of course, none of this works if you don't do it, as I well know. As I have a closet full of clothes that fit loosely 2 years ago, and now................UGH.
i fear the cycle wont end until the journey ends sadly. i find eating junk foods as comfort foods that ease my stress. i have gained 40lbs in 5yrs or so. i have a new eliptical machine sitting not 2ft from me:) i used it 2 since last month. i know in my heart my psychoanalyst would tell me i am in auto destructive mode to accompany my DH on his demise.. radical but so true. each of us has our ways of attempting to drive the stress out of our lives to no avail it comes back. so mine too is sweets and junk which DH craves as well. at least in this area we are still a 'couple'...sigh...divvi
5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE 4 tablespoons flour 4 tablespoons sugar 2 tablespoons cocoa 1 egg 3 tablespoons milk 3 tablespoons oil 3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional) A small splash of vanilla extract 1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous). And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!
I think I eat of boredom more than stress. I don't smoke, drink, carouse around, am tied to my Dh by this disease and I am bored. So, I sit in my recliner with my laptop and eat. I don't ever get hungry any more because I eat before I get hungry.
I've been working on normal eating (aka intuitive eating, non-diet) and to some extent it is actually working. I needed to do something I could do even when things got really, really bad around here. Diets just plain don't work.
Joan, I'd love to know more about "breaking the cycle". Is there information on the web?
Bluedaze, how does that cake taste? One thing I'm really doing is not eating it unless it really tastes good.
Who has to be hungry to eat? I have always exercised and now I cannot go to the gym. He decided over a year ago that it was not good for him. Of course, I should have insisted that we go but I have always let him to what he wants to do. He wants his pecan pie and icecream every dayand I give it to him. He has put on some weight but not as much as I thought he whould. I am resisting the snacks between meals but I find myself adding deserts at lunch. He likes his chicken fried and I don't have the energy to cook two meals. So just call me pleasingly plump. That's my story and I am sticking to it. Not Fat....Plump
Maybe by reporting on this thread it will help us all to at least stabilize and maybe the incinative to lose. We could post our good progress or admit out defeat. Let's do it ladies!!!!!!! Go for 5 pounds at a time starting NOW>
Somewhere in the garage in a box is the textbook (paperback) I used in the Behavior Modification Course. The section of breaking the cycle was excellent. Actually, the whole book was excellent. I can't remember the name of it (Hey, it was 1978!), but when I find it, I will let you know.
It was interesting because the doctor who wrote it said he had been studying overweight people and their eating habits for years, and had no luck getting anyone to lose significant weight and keep it off. Then he got a brainstorm - he was studying the wrong people. He started to study the eating habits of naturally thin people. You know, those people out there who eat only when their stomach tells them they're very hungry, and stop eating when they're satsified, rather than when they expode. He based his whole new behavioral approach on the thin people's eating habits.
Oh boy, I really have to put my thinking cap on to figure out in which box I put that book.
Joan, I betcha you have a treasure cove in your garage. I have cleaned mine out twice and it's like the story of the "fishes and the loaves"....the more junk and good stuff I toss or give away, the more that fills the space. Where does all of that stuff come from?
I have diet books, exercise tapes (no VCR's anymore to play them on), exercise tubes, diet cookbooks, motivational diet books. I have tried Weight Watcher's (I use up all my points by lunchtime), Diet Workshop, Jenny Craig (My own SISTER is a Jenny Craig manager!), Overeaters Anonymous, Synergic Weight Loss, Behavior Modification, starvation (gave that up 40 years ago), Richard Simmons Deal a Meal (I needed another deck), Palm Beach Trim Progam (This is the only one that is easy for me to follow and stick to for any length of time), AND counseling.
Honestly, we all know that emotional eating has nothing to do with the stomach. That's why they call it emotional eating. Unless we get the cause of our stress and out of control emotions under control, we're going to continue stuffing donuts.
I tried the cake, it's delicious. Put some whipped cream on the top. It's also dangerous as it's easy and quick and I always have most of the ingredients so there is nothing to stop me. Someone put this in the easy recipes months ago and I tried it then. Not to brag, but I've gained 20 lbs since last summer. I can't blame that all on the microwave cake in a cup but it helped. I'm hoping when the snow melts I can have some incentive to get outside and at least walk the dog. Boredom is my nemesis as I can't go anywhere or start anything that I might have to quit at a moments notice. I try to ride a stationary bike but I have to keep stopping to go find something. Makes it hard to do long enough. My parents also love the cake in a cup and have passed it around to all their friends.
Joan, it sounds like that textbook is actually a normal eating textbook, with a few good extras built in. So what I'm currently working on is:
Eat when you are hungry. Choose foods you enjoy (yes, including fried chicken and chocolate cake) Pay attention to what you are eating while you are eating it. And stop eating when you think you are no longer hungry.
When my husband had his bad Full Moon Event and I felt it was time to call in the caseworker from the Area Agency on Aging, and when I was feeling really rotten over the entire thing, I DID NOT emotionally eat. That was a first for me. I'm actually losing weight, VERY SLOWLY, doing this, but it has taken me two years to get to the point where that began to happen. For about 18 months of that time I wasn't doing it and had gained back 50 pounds of a 100 pound weight loss while life threw me a miserable surprise. I've been back on track since mid-January.
Don't know how I managed to miss that particular book because I thought I'd read all of the older ones. Can't keep up with the current books on normal or intuitive eating since there are suddenly a lot of them.
I have decided to not eat dinner per say. I like to have a piece of toast and PB with hot chocolate before bedtime, so I figured if I stop eating dinner I might loose some weight. I will munch on vegies or have salad while he has his 'meat and potatoes' per say. At least I have stopped the weight gain. In time maybe it will start coming off.
I have gained 15 pounds since coming back to Vancouver in December. I can't blame on his MCI - it is boredom. I have given up finding a full-time job and looking for at least a part time. Part time at minimum wage will pay what I get for unemployment. I still do a guys books that I worked for 1999-2003. That business went bankrupt so he went into just plant brokering. I spent two weeks in Nov/Dec entering all his 2008 stuff. Yesterday I spent 5 1/2 hours catching up his bank accounts via the internet (he lives in Utah). All I do is print out his bank accounts and statements, enter it all and he has to enter the bills that go with those that pertain to his business. It felt so good to be doing something other than pogo games, TV, or reading online.
Oh, I have been using my son's wi-fi since arriving back. They are going to probably turn it off next month which is a good financial move for them. This will leave me with using my cell phone as a modem. It will last about 2 hours before it goes dead and means after 9pm or weekends only.
But that is fine - I will survive. Maybe even exercise more and loose some weight. Dream on!!!!
Wow! Sorry so many have the same issues but glad for the company. Most weight loss programs do not deal with the emotional aspect yet there are so many people who need this. Also thanks for mentioning boredom. Many people don't see how we could possibly be bored! It's true. You can't always go out and do something you like that would be good for you. Reading, cleaning, TV get old after a while. My worst time is after dinner. I can hardly wait til bedtime. I always liked crafts but can't get out to get materials so that stopped. Yardwork (pulling weeds) is back breaking and you can't keep up with them here, plus if you have allergies you go crazy. I gave us trying to make it pretty. Now it is just cut and trimmed with a little watering. It would be great to be able to keep this going to talk about our progress or lack of just for support. Good idea, Imorh.
Thanks for all of your input. I actually feel better. Oh, yes. When I think of people I knew that were really thin, all they every ate was candy, chips, coffee, soda. Don't think that is what we want to do. We have to keep healthy and strong first.
You have to watch those thin people very carefully. They don't eat as much as you think. I had a supervisor once who was rail thin, and she kept saying all she did was snack on candy. Yeah, well, one day I watched her snack on that candy. She took a tiny Snicker's bar - the kind you give out at Halloween, and she NIBBLED IT. She actually NIBBLED IT. It took her about 30 minutes to nibble 1/2 of it; she put the rest back in the wrapper and put it in her pocketbook. In that amount of time, I could have eaten an entire bag of those things.
One year I co-taught with a teacher who was emaciated. I sat with her at lunch and watched her take 1/2 an hour to eat a 6 oz. container of yogurt. One tiny spoonful at a time. One tiny spoonful at a time. I could have eaten 1/2 gallon of ice cream in that amount of time.
I just spent the evening with a woman who believes that we can do anything we set our mind to do if we are determined enough. So the question is - am I determined enough to stick to a healthy diet beyond Monday?
Gosh Joan, you mean you aren't supposed to pop the entire mini Snickers into your mouth at once, like a TicTac?
I have read a million notes about the advantage of eating slowly. Maybe we should switch to "shrimp forks" or "chop sticks" for our eating utensil of choice.
Seriously, the chop sticks and shrimp forks would probally help. Anything to slow down our eating. We are just eating too many calories and I know it. I just lack the willpower to stick with a healthy diet. I think I will and next meal rolls around and there I go, eating everything in sight as fast as I can stuff it in my mouth. I am a food a aholic.
I have a son in law who was obese and he had the gastric bypass surgery a year and a half ago. He has lost 7 sizes. Almost 200# off. He can only eat a half a hamburger etc. At first he could only eat a couple tablespoonsfull but it has increased some. He is still losing because he doesn't get hungry. The Dr. told him he can lose 12 more pounds and that is all. It all has to do with amount of body fat he has. He now wears a size 32 pants.
If I would cut my food down 1/2 I would have plenty, feel better and loose weight. Also, I could tie my shoes easier. Cutting out sweets is necessary also. I am doing my best to try and convince myself about all this. 30# would be very nice. I welcome a buddy here.
I have a friend who had lap band surgery in November. He has lost close to 60 lbs. Now, since he has lost all that weight, and I haven't, I should NOT criticize. BUT he hasn't changed his eating habits. He eats whatever he wants, but in much smaller amounts. When he starts to eat too much, he goes back to the doctor to have "fill" put into the band. They put more some kind of solution in it to make it tighter around the stomach. Those weight loss surgeries fix your stomach, not your head. And until the head gets fixed (understanding and controlling the emotional eating), they're only going to gain the weight back.
However, as I said, he lost 60 lbs. and I didn't. He's off most of his medications, and I'm not, so I probably should not criticize the surgery. I probably should consider it.
True, Joan, you have to change the eating habits and there are more who don't change than those who do change. My SIL has changed and he follows his Drs. orders to the letter. In fact, his Dr. says he is the best patient he has had. Most of the others lost some and then stabilized or are gaining it back. We are very proud of him. This is interesting his Dr. told him absolutely NO popcorn. It was the worse thing he could eat to put weight back on. A friend of mine said caramel candy will about kill you. I think the volume of food is the most important so you don't stretch your stomach back out. That shows if you stop eating you will lose it.........Wonder if hypnotism helps?
Starling has started something like cutting back and just eating what she really craves.
I'd been going to the pool and doing water aerobics 4-5x a week for 5 years. I was keeping myself under control--heavy but under control.
A year ago last February I decided I could no longer drive safely. My vision is just too unstable to take any more chances. DH said he'd take me. Ha! That was a joke. He took me 1 time and said it was too boring for him to sit there and read for an hour while I did my exercises.
Ergo--no exercise. Bored out of my mind. Neither of us drive now. I eat too much. And my COPD is getting worse and my energy level is waaaay down. Probably because I'm too heavy.
Hypnotism does work. my mom has done it lost about 30lbs once-and so have i. i first went for claustropobia that developed during an mri on my shoulder. i just freaked out once they had me on the conveyer to put me in-couldnt do it -i had never been claustrophobic ever in my life -i scuba dived for heavens sake! i went for hr sessions 2/wk. the sessions were amazing and i lost the claustrophobia in a few sessions as it wasnt too deeply rooted. i was having issues with elevetors! then it was gone and i noticed they had a program for weight loss. i did the ones for sugar cravings etc. i still have the tapes and its so soothing. they work if you use them to 're-affirm' the original hypnosis -i did lose 20lbs during 6wk sessions. i didnt go for long as planned due to issues with DH being left alone during that time i was so stressed over his AD it helped sooooooo much to just deflate!! joan or anyone who may can see a dr may find it very helpful to help get you thru these disturbing specific times, like i did- early first phases, yes dread times like taking, driving, flying his plane, privledges etc.. today when i listen to them when i get stressed its like yoga, gives you a new boost for the day -i went for one reason and it turned out helping me in so many other ways. divvi i have not used the hypnosis as i should and re=reading this i may go back to it and start again...i can tell you after hypnosis i could walk away from sugars and eat none.. why am i not using it again..beats me..auto destruction mode..
I've watched a real normal eater too. And it was pretty shocking. She didn't eat all that much. And she was s-l-o-o-o-o-w. I think that most of us who are heavy are "efficient" eaters.
Not reading while I was eating was very hard for me. But I finally realized that if I wanted to read that badly, I ought to just go and read, and not eat too. If I wanted to eat, I needed to pay attention to the fact that I had food in my mouth. It was really hard.
I had the usual problems with throwing food out as well. I'm trying to leave something on my plate at every meal, but it doesn't always happen.
The thing with normal eating is that I CAN eat ice cream, chocolate and chocolate cake. Just less of it. And only if I'm hungry. Not handling desert as well as other things yet, but I'm still working on that too. Need to leave some room at supper for desert. Sometimes I stop at the right time during supper but not enough before the right time to have some desert too.
At this point I'm not doing the so-called healthy eating thing. Although, my diet seems to include lots of healthy foods. But I'm old enough to have seen what people called healthy eating change over and over and over again. I'm taking a lot of it with a grain of salt.
One of the really funny things is coffee, which turns out to be filled with anti-oxidants. The real kind turns out to be better for you than the fake kind with no caffeine.
I worked for years and grabbing lunch during the lunch hour before I had to run a few errands is what started my "rapid eating". I tried to finish in 15 minutes or less so I'd have at least 30 minutes to dash to the bank, post office or other place that wasn't available after 5. (Never occurred to me to "skip" lunch!) Then came "fast food" that I could eat in the car...fries cooked in trans fatty oil, hamburger with 30% fat, and suddenly my size 6-8's became 10's and up. Now I fix my husband's meal, and then mine, trying to finish it before he finishes, because the second he's done, he wants everything removed from the table or tray.
These excuses made sound feeble, but they are my excuses and I'm stickin' with them.
I will admit I've stopped buying salty snacks. Those things weren't showing up in the pantry all by themselves.
OK, Imhor, I agree we can start posting our exercise and weight sucess here and encourage each other. A doctor once told DH to walk for 5 minutes, then the next day 10 minuets, then 15 and so on. I am beginning that today. I have gained 15 lbs since Jim's dx in March. I went from running in my medical office 8 -10 hours a day to NOTHING. Jim gets lonely so I stay nearby. I will try and walk when he naps. He is having balance issues so may not be able to go with me. Thinking of a cane for him. Hmmmmm. OK, ready, set go!
Susan, I am trying to cut food today. Yesterday, I went out to spread fertilizer around the shrubs and told dh he could help me. That started the tractor issue with him on it, starting it, me taking the keys out, him trying to get them away from me and me being locked outside. You have to watch them like a toddler. I will post tomorrow about my food intake. (There is 2 boxes of Russell Stover Candy and a box of homemade cookies in the house and I am going to move them to dh room. Good luck to everyone trying to lose.
Imohr, I've got more chocolate in the pantry than anyone could possibly eat. That is one of the techniques to deal with cravings. The fact that they are there makes me comfortable and at peace. And, literally, I'm not eating much of it at all. Most of it has been in the pantry since Christmas.
Unless it is candy or choc chip cookies it doesn't bother me. I am still avoiding so far. I told dh I was going to move the sweets to his br because I was going to try and lose a few pounds. That all sounds good to him. Both the weight and the candy. My FIL smoked a pipe all his life until age 80 when he decided to quit. He left his pipe and tobacco on the stand beside his recliner and never touched it again. I am aiming for a 5# increment. Good, Starling.
You gals make me feel right at home! I identify with all of you! I have been up and down the weight/size roller coaster all of my life. I'll be size 8 for five years, then creep up to size 18 over three years, then back down to size 10, then back up to size 20, then back down.....I am now the largest I have ever been and I KNOW I have to lose this weight. I also did water aerobics every day after work for an hour and felt better and lost weight. Then my husband got to where he couldn't be left alone, and I had to give them up. And the weight came back. Once, my taste buds died, and for five years I ate only because of necessity and could understand why some people don't gain weight. They don't ENJOY food. Me, now that my taste buds are back to normal, LOVE the taste/flavor of food! That's why I love Mexican and Italian food so much! My problem is large portions and not any exercise now. Someday.....I'll decide to take it off, but right now, I'm too emotionally fragile. After, I'm thinking about going on a strict diet with lots of exercise!
Nancy, you brought up a subject earlier - "I have cleaned mine out twice and it's like the story of the "fishes and the loaves"....the more junk and good stuff I toss or give away, the more that fills the space." Can I use that as an excuse NOT to clean my basement? <grin>
My husband has lost nearly 40 lbs in the last 2 yrs.... I have gained it. he eats hardly anything besides his Ensure, I eat his leftovers. right now, i'm thinking of a cookie. I figure it's better than drinking heavily. but I need that glass of wine at dinner too, keeps the meal and the day in perspective (grin)
I was going to say I don't know which is worse, trying to lose weight or trying to gain weight - but I guess losing it is harder. I've weighed 100-108 all my teen and adult life. I'm 5'3". So, I never had to worry about eating, weight, etc. About a year and a half ago, I had a full top denture made. I couldn't eat right for so long and I started losing weight even though I drank all the milkshakes, and ate all the soft desserts I could handle. Last Dec. I was 90 lbs. My clothes just hung on me. For some unknown reason - I started gaining it back! Two weeks ago I was up to 99 and now my clothes fit a lot better. Still have a little ways to go though.
The nice thing about familial tremor is that it gets better after you have that glass of wine! I love to cook, cook dinner 6-7 times a week, for the three of us plus a fourth for leftovers for lunch. Good, healthy food, no deep frying and little breading (although I couldn't resist baking some catfish filets in panko crumbs in the oven the other night) and breakfast's very healthy and minimal. But still I gained over the winter - no exercise, my leg hurts too much to walk a lot, and my daughter sweetly brings home ice cream. She also brings home low-fat sherbert which is very good but I will eat it if it's there. I too weigh more than I ever have.
Vickie - I am glad you have the low weight problem. As long as you are not sick you are better off. When I was a teen I weighed 105 and I was the thinnest girl around. I ate and ate trying to gain but couldn''t. Then after 26 and 3 kids I no longer tried to gain. Every year or two added a few pounds and now I need to lose at least 25#. I hope I can motivate myself.
I have found the name of the book - It is "Learning to Eat" by James Ferguson. It is so old, only "used" copies are available from Amazon - http://astore.amazon.com/wwwthealzheim-20/detail/0915950022
However, there is an updated version by the same author and his daughter, written in 2003. I just ordered a copy. It is titled "Habits not Diets, the secret to lifetime weight control" - http://astore.amazon.com/wwwthealzheim-20/detail/0923521704
Vickie and everyone,
I think Vickie will find this very interesting. In the first book, Dr. Ferguson wrote that he had a group of people who were trying to GAIN weight who just could not do it. Nothing they ate put weight on them. He had a radical idea. He put them on WEIGHT LOSS DIETS. The people were horrified, but followed his advice. They dieted for a couple of weeks (been a long time since I read the book, so I'm not sure of the exact dieting time), and lost weight. He then told them to stop dieting. Whatever they ate after that dieting period PUT WEIGHT BACK ON THEM. The cycle of starving, then eating to make up for the starving, changed their metabolisms so they were able to gain weight. It's what happens to us when we go on diets, then binge to make up for it.
Vickie, I'm sure we all wish we had your problem, but I know that ANY weight issue is difficult, inlcuding trying to gain it for those who have that metabolism type. Although I would gladly change places with you for about 6 months. The last time I weighed 90 lbs., I was six years old.
Thanks for that Joan. I think that's what happend with me. I had "starved" myself because I couldn't eat for so long - then when I could eat my metabolism changed and I started to gain weight. it was awful while happening.
I've just finished reading a Weight Watcher's magazine. It was filled with life-like pictures of food all the way through. When I finished reading it, I was starving! I've always known the power of suggestion is bad for me. Someone can mention what they're having for dinner and that's what I get hungry for.
Dazed, I know. I am ordering the 2 books by Ferguson. See if that will motivate me. I have read everything else. I did do Weight Watchers once and did good with it then after a couple years stopped going and here we are again.
I know I eat too fast. I fix different meals for me and hubby as he only eats certain things (easy to eat meat/fish, carrots or string beans, canned fruit, pasta, potatoes,or rice, cookies or ice cream). He lost weight and I had to put it back on him. He was not eating in between meals because I did not give it to him so he lost weight. Then I began giving him snacks and he is back to where he should be. I on the other hand gained weight. I am trying to eat sensible meals but snack after. Food is not exciting so I swallow it up. The candy bar was funny. How in the world could someone eat so slowly? I too would swallow that thing whole. Bought us some candy covered malt balls for Easter and ate and ate (they were soooooo small). It takes him about an hour to eat, me less than 5 minutes. Maybe that really is the secret - slow down! I am eating the grapefruit diet again but maintaining the weight.X)X? (swear words). I was eating oatmeal in the mornings but the eggs, bacon and grapefruit seem to give me more energy and I am not going to the bathroom all morning. I know willpower, but I don't have it and never have. Maybe having all of you here with me will help me learn it. Belly fat is the worst! Tried exercise but gained more weight because I gained muscle and have to be careful I am not building muscle on fat. Like the vinegar on weeds. I use vinegar for so many things and keep it in my shower. Even use it to rinse the dog after his bath. Use it on all of my wash loads. Great comments. Look forward to more.
brindle, eating slow is not the answer. I have always been a slow eater and I'm certainly not thin. I think for many of us here, it's the isolation. We can't get out and do what we want to do so we eat.