I'm like chipper,24 hour babysitter,worried about going outside to do yard work cause I never know whats going on in the house,windows open with the furnace running,or air on with windows open,gets on the phone an makes crazy calls to friends an family,called the police on me at Thanksgiving an wanted them to throw me out an police sided with her said she was more sane than me?I guess the early stages they can sure fool people,anyway stress hmm all the denials,same questions over an over,the list gos on.
I have had so many of the stresses mentioned here thru the years. Now my stress is seeing my husband, unable to walk or talk in a care home. It is sad, but I know it is the best place for him as I would be unable to care for him at home now.
I have been in Florida for the last week visiting my daughter. My doctor told me I needed to get "out of town" once in a while. It has helped and ready to face reality again with a refreshed outlook (hope I can keep it for a while).
I'd like to reiterate some of these posts about 'verbal abuse.' My DH does NOT do that--never has. But, I have a brother who has been verbally and physically abusive since I can remember. He aboused mother and me when he was a kid. He abused his wife until she left him. He got the kids and he abused them until they were about 15 years old. Then they went to live with their mother. They are e40 and 42 years old now. The boy (40) has not spoken to his father in 20 years. The girl is married, has 3 children. She is a phd professor at a university in Pennsylvania. She told me just hearing his voice on the phone causes a panic attack. She won't see him alone--she only sees him every other year or so in a public place and her husband is always with her.
Mother died 20 years ago. He started in again on me and every woman friend he had. He just doesn't learn. He does not have AD. He's just a very angry man and I can't imagine what his BP is likle. I told him many years ago that if he wanted to yell at someone, go find someone else. I don't have time or energy.
Ironically, he stopped that behavior with me when I told him DH has AD and I can't possible listen to any of that anymore. Go figurfe. Of course he has complete control over it. He's just an abuser. If your DH is doing that, highly recommend getting some pills from the doctyor and just put it in his milk or his eggs. Its called self-lprelservation. Blessings to all of you!
My biggest stress is no conversation with adults. Hearing my LO talk but not understanding much is very frustrated which sure leads to stress. I crave conversation with other adults but don't get many calls or visits. When we go out she is exstatic but not much adult conversation for me. Even our kisd do not call much and then not for very long. I do all the adult worrying and this causes decision judgement stress. Am I doing the best things. You guys help me a lot in this area. bill
Mawzy - sorry for you and your family at what they had to suffer at the hands of your brother. Sad that he go custody of the kids and was therefore able to continue the abuse. Sounds like you made it through strong and are able to stand up to him. Keep up the good job.
bille - Can you get a CNA or someone to come in once a week for a few hours? I'm sure you can. But before you hire them, find an organization where you can volunteer once a week. For me, it was the zoo in Providence, where i volunteer weekly to talk to visitors, but have good ties with the others who are doing the same thing. BUt there are any number of other places which you can find that need volunteers - I don't know your age, but maybe a retired volunteer service.. it doesn't matter if it's dog work. It's a job but what you're looking for is something that will take you out of your focus on AZ. When you've found it, then get your CNA and RUN AWAY! for a few hours!!
And.. you find us helpful talking about Alz. but there are forums on everything under the sun. Guns, history, politics.. you name it. Look it up and find a forum and find your voice!!
briegull- I do have an independent Helper that has done this work before. She comes in 3 eays/wk for 4-6 hrs. Yes it does help and I talk to her a lot but it is not the same as my family and friends. She is from Ghana and has 2 young girls that she brings occasionally and that is great. But I still get lonesome. My LO gets mad if I go out with out here while Adie is here. But i don't have anyplace I like to go. Helper is as much for me almost as Carol. I have bad arthiritis, back, knees and shoulders. Not up to much phusical activity. I have started our Blog last week and it is giving me some personal relationships and actions. address is howiscaroldoing.blogspot.com. It does give me a semblance of adult conversation.
No, the point isn't to talk to the CNA, it's to go somewhere else. Look at the Sunday paper. Or google your town and "volunteer" - it makes you feel good. Let your LO grumble, Adie's there... Be creative! We have people at the zoo in their mid-eighties.