A unique opportunity has presented itself for all of you second spouses of Alzheimer patients. All of the information is in today's blog on the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com. I invite you to log on and read it.
As I mentioned in the blog, Dr. Wexler-Sherman will be reading the message boards, so even if you do not wish to formally participate in the study, please feel free to post your information under this topic. I would also encourage those of you who are NOT second spouses of Alzheimer patients, but are personally aware of the issues to post here.
I have already participated in this study. I did it on the phone, and when it was not convenient to speak on the phone (because DH had come into the room, or whatnot) we simply began again the next day. It was not unpleasant, and gave me someone to vent to for 3 hours. They sent me a target gift card at the end of the interview.
I've e-mailed Dr. Wexler-Sherman. All I know is that the problems generated by my husband's first family have been the worst part of his Alzheimer's. In my books, it's abuse.
As the second wife of a 73 year old man who was vibrant and energetic and had the stamina of a much younger man, I was quite taken aback when he was diagnosed with Alzheimers' after only one year of marriage. Since that point it has gone downhill rapidly. I often wonder what the heck was I thinking? We are going on 5 years of marriage with only one good year. How does one say oops, I guess this isn't what I had in mind, see ya later. It's tough when suddenly he will accuse me of marrying him so I could take his money and his house, how I have set up with our attorney to get divorced and take it all. His two brothers wont return his phone calls and his one son is too busy to be bothered with even calling once a day to check on him. My two adult children never got to really know the man that I knew and only know this compromised brain person so, needless to say, they don't really care for him. They care for me so do what they can but it makes for a strained relationship for all of us.
Jules, I would love to talk to you personally via email if you would like. I too am a 2nd wife who has not been married that long (9 years, but he has had AD 3), so I totally feel the same way you do. Some days I just want to run off to Mexico and not come back. Not sure how old you are, but you look young!! I am 43. Click on my name and send me an email if you ever want to vent, compare notes, etc.