Hi--A few days ago my dh went into one of the worst rages he's had. In the process he tried to jump out of the moving car as I was trying to get it parked, after telling me, "Shut up!" Last year he made an implied threat to kill me. When he rages, no matter what I say to try to defend myself, he turns it back on me and rails and rails at me. During this last episode, he began to yell and rage at a clerk. Recently he did the same thing in a doctor's office at an billing clerk employee. Later he was contrite and apologized, something he rarely does, saying, "This has got to stop (his raging and acting out)." In 2008, I managed to get him into a neurologist (that almost caused us to divorce). That doctor did an MRI which showed nothing. He went from dx him with FTD, to something else that I can't remember, to MCI. I came away feeling this doctor didn't have a clue as to what he had. We didn't go back. I have noticed that my dh's memory is getting worse, as has he. He even asked me if I thought it was. On Sunday he told his sister something on the phone, and the story he was telling never happened. I was stunned to hear him, but did not contradict him. It wasn't that important. He is soon to be 79 years old, and is an insulin dependent diabetic with complications. This is a second marriage for us both, and he's always treated me in an abusive manner. There also has been physical violence during our 20 year marriage. He is 10 years older than me. My question is, do you think he has progressed over from MCI to FTD, from what I have described? He will go from being nice, to being very ugly, in a heartbeat. I never know what will set him off.
Hanging On-if your husband has indeed progressed to FTD there will be no way to control his rages without medication. Notify your local police of your situation. That way-if you feel threatened and call them your husband won't be able to convince them that it is just a domestic squabble as my husband was able to do. Create a safe space for your self and keep your cell phone with you at all times. Keep your personal papers where you can grab them in an emergency. Sorry-this will only get worse without intervention. Try to get your husband to his doc for DM assessment.
There is no way to answer your question without a complete evaluation from a Memory Disorders Clinc. You do not say where you live, but you can log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and look on the left hand side. Scroll down to "Find a Memory Disorder Clinic" in your area. Or if you are near a large University teaching hospital, call them and ask for a neurologist specializing in memory disorders. The rages you describe need medication, and the best way to get the appropriate medication is to get a proper diagnosis, so your husband can receive the proper treatment. It is vital that you get the correct diagnosis from a specialist in memory disorders.
Hanging On-- do it soon. NOW--is even better. You said he acknowledged that it has to stop. He is aware at least some of the time. He might just be more cooperative if you get this done and get some meds on board to help level him out.
My husband has been treated for memory problems for about 6 years, however, was just diagnosed with FTD in July of last year after a 2nd PET Scan. He also had rages for years over nothing, thankfully they were never directed to me or kids. However, last year he was beginning at times to scream at me for no reason, told me I didn't deserve anything & he owned everything. He is now on Lexapro & he does get agitated sometimes, but, I normally can talk him out of it now. I don't remember has your husband been to another Neurologist lately? If not, I would try to get him evaluated.