Day care was closed today because of Good Friday. I had to take DH to work with me. Today was coffee hour so I had him sit with the rest of the people. I could see him thru my office window. DH was the maintenance supervisor here for ten years so everyone knows him. Only two people spoke to him. (I was watching) I felt so bad for him. Do these people think that it's catching? As soon as coffee hour was over, I had him stay in the office with me. I don't think it even mattered to him but I thought it was pretty crappy of them.
carolyn, unfortunately that happens alot, when folks realize something is a little off, they do think it will catch. it will not be the last i am sorry to say. i had a really bad event on a cruise we went on and we sat at a table of 8 the first nite. the next nite the seat next to my DH was vacant. it was like a slap in the face to ME. i got up and moved to a table for 2. i got used to the tables for 2 over the yrs now. and on another note even his own family rarely says a word to him when we are around them. i limit the times now as its such a disrepect to him i cant stand being around anyone who slights him in the least. its such a disgrace it happens and you do feel just awful for them. the first time is hardest and it always hurts-divvi
I am sorry. I think alot of people don't know how to react. I have found that some people are concerned that DH may not remember them and he will feel badly. I often time break the ice. Also my DH is pretty outgoing and will say things like "I have AD. I may know you but I can't remember your name."
I find that people, even family, do not speak to my husband either. I thought it was because he couldn't speak (doesn't mean he can't hear) and they didn't want to make him feel badly because he can't answer, but I guess it is just because they are clueless and ill at ease themselves.
Divvi, we're going on a cruise next month. I have already asked for a table for two. We talk quite a bit to each other but I know he doesn't ( or I should say "can't) really carry on a conversation with strangers. He doesn't see his grandson often so has forgotten who he is. When he, his son and grandson went out for breakfast one day, he told me that he didn't like the young guy. I have seen what has happened. His son and grandson are very close to each other. They spent all their time talking to each other and ignored "grandpa". Back to this morning, he doesn't remember their names, but he knows their faces.
There is another part of the equation too - when I go back to places I worked, where I had good friendships with them, I find that has disappeared. We no longer have much in common so there is little conversation. That could be part of the equation. The other part, of course, is not sure how much to include him in or understanding the illness. Plus, there are still people who think they might 'catch' it.
There is one man here in our retirement inn who we sit with for dinner about once a week. I have noticed, during our conversations, that he will try to pull my wife into the discussions by asking her a question. Unfortunately, she really doesn't respond to him, but at least he is trying.