"Vietnam was good training for this caregiving role. If something bad is not actively happening, something bad just happened or something bad is getting ready to happen. The trick seems to be, in both circumstances, keep everybody alive and get into the next day. Try and find some joy in between the bad stuff."
That was today. He is having a bad day. He has them some of the time, but he decided to go on one of his "hikes" and I almost went nuts. I asked him to stay in the community and he said no. But he actually did because he came back about an hour after he left. I went out driving on the street he usually walks on, but did not see him in either direction.
There is, by the way, no way I can stop him from leaving the house safely, and I've decided that my safety is more important than his. Can't take care of him if I'm dead or in the hospital.
So today I had bad stuff, bad stuff that just finished happening, bad stuff happening again, more bad stuff that finished and almost certainly even more bad stuff to come.
Starling, I know he has always loved his walks and you've let him take them. What happened that changed that? AND: what about you getting a scooter (rent) and going alongside him, just because the weather's nice and you want to get out?
I never thought about the scooter. I'll think about that.
To answer what was different, he just plain was having a very bad day. He always makes his own breakfast, but every once in a while he can't remember how to do that. Today was one of those days.
We have gone out to buy his newspapers EVERY DAY since he stopped being able to drive himself, and I planned on getting gas. He didn't remember he wanted to go out and get newspapers today, and that has NEVER happened. And there were other, just over the edge things happening.
He did go out on a walk, but it was only a one hour walk. So he stayed in the community. He has been fine ever since he came back, but it is the early morning when I'd normally see differences.
Just in the last couple of days, my husband has forgotten HOW to go to the bathroom. He walks in there (at my urging) and stands there, then picks up his cane and starts to leave. I say, wait, didn't you come in here to pee? And he stands there. I pull down his trousers. And he stands there. I say, can you put the seat up? And he stands there. Finally does it, then I pull down the whitie and turn on the water to "clean out the sink." Having finished, he doesn't know what to do next, like pulling stuff up or leaving. I have to prompt all the way. Today he forgot how to get out of the car, though he'd gotten in, fine.
People look at me like I am crazy when I say that my husband has forgotten how to use the bathroom, but that is exactly what happened and now he is in depends full time. He too gets into the car but when it is time to get out, he pushes the button to open the window instead of the door. Strange but true.
mine has to swing his legs both out first, like sitting on the side of the bed, then stand up. Lately he has been trying to put his backside out first while leaving his feet in. Doesn't work.
EVERY DAY IS A NEW EXPERIENCE...THE LAST 2 NIGHTS DH WILL NOT TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES AT BEDTIME, THIS IS THE THRID NIGHT, HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET HIM INTO THE SHOWER, HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CHANGE THE PAD HE WEARS IN HIS UNDERWEAR IN THE MORNING,SO AFRAID OF INFECTION. NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. ANY IDEAS???
I guess I wasn't the only one who NEEDED to vent. And I'm not the only one who is experiencing new things.
His confusion continues. He got into the shower this morning when I asked him to. And I know he used the sponge because it had been moved. I'm not normally in there with him, but I checked on him three times this morning and still didn't manage to actually catch him showering. But the last time he was squeegeeing the glass doors, so I saw him in the shower.
We did go out and buy gas this morning and while I was getting gas he remembered that we normally buy newspapers there, so he wanted to go in. I am grateful that he is confused and not violent. I'm grateful that he was just as charming in WAWA as he always is. And I'm grateful that it is threatening rain and he normally doesn't want to go out on long walks when it is threatening rain.
I have to admit, I am hoping this is going to be one of those times where he goes back to what was his current normal. Because if he doesn't the slide is starting again. And I'm not ready for that yet. Are any of us ready for the slide when it happens.
Ro13, I'm not yet dealing with any of your issues so I can't help. I hope someone will answer you soon.
My DH is so well-functioning, this really threw me. He has an infected tooth, dentist medicated it, rinse with salt water, etc. He is so good to do what he's supposed to. Hard for him to eat right now and is painful, I know. When I got up this morning I noticed he had already put his lower partial in (where the infected tooth is), so I asked how it was feeling. He said it was much better, that he had gotten up during the night and used "that big electric toothbrush under the cabinet in the bathroom". I couldn't figure out what he meant so went and looked. Are you ready for this????? I have a battery operated cleaning brush I use to clean around the faucets and bathroom sinks! He had used that! Guess it's time to clean things out of the bathroom cabinets! He still says it feels so much better today - and I can't remember what the cleaner was I used last time on the brush!
My husband has had these two or three day sudden loss of function periods before. This was the worst one we've ever experienced because there were things that happened this time around that I've never seen. We've been seeing this once every 2 or 3 months for a year now. This one has really scared me, but basically he is back.
He sat down and read his newspapers yesterday. He came and told me he was going to bed last night about 8:30 and he just got undressed, got into his PJs and went to bed. He woke up this morning and made his own breakfast without any help from me. We put his drugs into his organizers together just as we always do every three weeks.
I'm still shaking, but basically this event is over. Thanks for listening to the venting. I was really scared this time.
Well we do have one left over. Only God knows where he put his good gold watch and his newer pair of glasses during the bad night, because neither he nor I can find them. I did check to see where he put the second pair of glasses (same prescription, but older) and his other good watch last night, and it was one of the signals that things were better because he put them in the proper, usual place.
We have been in every drawer and cubbyhole and I put on gloves and checked the garbage. Can't find them.
This is the first time something important has gone missing. So I guess I've joined that club. I have no idea what the good gold watch is worth, but I fixed it for more than $100 in January, and the watchmaker seemed to think that was worth doing. I don't think he would have allowed me to spend that much money on a watch that wasn't worth fixing. They have been in business for 90 years at that location, and I made sure to tell him who had sent us both when we dropped off the watch and when we picked it up.
The glasses cost me $300 in December. We may not find either of them until I break down this house to move after he dies. If then.
Starling, dont write it off yet, we did have full moon on thurs. when you noticed the 'changes' ..i can tell you i notice definate losses and confusion more than any other time. try to get ready for the next one:) you never know if its related -divvi
What was lost is now found. I continued looking and he had "hidden" them behind some photos on top of my dresser. I would have found them the next time I dusted in any case, but was looking all over the place and now I've got them. I've put the glasses in the empty glass case next to the pair he is now wearing. I've hidden the watch. He has several others including one I got him for Christmas in 2007.
Starling, I am so glad you found them! Now if those missing pj's will only show up! <grin>
I think several of us have had rough spots this week. And I fully blame it on the full moon! I don't know if my husband will "come back" to what he was before or not. Starling, I am so happy your husband did!
I'm glad to see you are posting more now! I missed you!