Just heard from the Va that " the person in charge of respite is on vac and won't be avail till Monday. Please call back then". By Monday I may have had my nervous breakdown and won't need respite care!!! I'm so upset. My Dad was going to start chemo for his cancer in his appendix but yesterday, he had another scan and it turned out that he has a second cancer-kidney! The new question is, should he have the kidney removed before chemo starts? I believe the real question is, will my Dad even go through the proceedure. He is so confused and defeated. Moms in short term rehab and Dads all alone. I cannot even visit him because my dh refuses to get in my car to go home once we are out. I've even had to cancel appts because I can't get him into the car to go.
Doc gave me vicodin for my broken ribs and I've gotten very little relief. Does it take time for it to kick in? I guess I'll call the pharmacy and ask.
I'm so sorry about the respite. Is there anywhere else you can get it? Some alzheimer care facilities offer respite care. I think the alzheimer organization will donate some money to caregivers to help pay for the care.
My experience with vicodin is that it typically works from the beginning. Maybe you need a stronger dose, but be really careful with it. It puts me to sleep and it can be addictive. However, when I had my knees replaced and when I broke my shoulder, I don't think I could have gotten along without it.
Also very sorry about your dad's diagnosis. Hope things improve soon. I'll be thinking about you.
Most places have someone covering when a staff person is on vacation, or in cases of emergency. I think another call would be worth it and I think you would qualify as an emergency. Sometimes you have to be a squeaky wheel, a royal pain, and a bit of a b***ch. You may have run into the "it's not my job" mentality. That's not your problem, it's theirs., Try asking for their Ombudsperson (Client Services, Patient/VA liason)? You might be surprised what you can shake loose when you get in their face and refuse to go away. It's worth a try.
Also, the vicodin should be working. Call your Dr. There are other meds.
Kathryn, call everyone -including your own dr. vicodin did not work for me at all. i was taking the rx'd dose and nothing. every 4hrs! i had a tooth that was infected inthe root and my whole face swelled. pain was unbearable. have him call you in something else some folks like me have a tolerance to the drugs in them. DH cant take morphine- get them to call in another drug asap. you should not be n pain after taking a dose after 6hrs.
on the respite, call the VA back and ask if you provide your own respite thru an agency for a few days will be VA reimburse you since you are in emergency situation and need help asap? CALL the closest Alzheimer chapter now and explain your situationn. if an emergency ever existed you ar it. you have everyone ill including yourself. the alz assoc should help you get something lined up evenr if its a local contact for you to hire out of pocket? if the VA is not responding to your needs as others suggested call the speak to the head of the dept as well. if all else fails you can do as some have done and call 911 and have them take him to a psyche facility for a few days to iron out his meds and evaluate him. explain your situation to everyone. i would also call your dr and say you are on the edge of despair and need help. maybe he can pull some strings at that hospital to get him in for a few days observation? just ideas. i sure hope someone comes to your aide. this is ridiculous! and i am pissed bigtime for you.. i would come myself as would others here if it was possible..((HUGS))) let us know and get on the phone now-divvi
This is going to sound weird, but if you are in that much pain, call the paramedics. If you go to emergency, and take your husband with you, lay the entire thing on the hospital social worker. Because you are probably not physically capable of continuing to take care of him. You need to be in a rehab hospital until the pain is under control, which means someone needs to take over his care.
When I had back pain I was taking 4 ibuprofen and 2 vicodin. I was told by the doctor to take up to 4 ibuprofen - for the inflammation and the vicodin for pain. I have a high tolerance for meds, so it takes more to be effective for me. It may for you too -just ask your doctor or try adding 2 with it.
All right, pain meds. When I was at my worst I was taking 4 ibuprofen every 4 hours and 2 extra strength Tylenol every 4 hours. I took something every 2 hours. This was with the doctor's approval, in fact it was at her suggestion.
Definitely talk to your doctor about staggering meds and which ones to stagger.
"Because you are probably not physically capable of continuing to take care of him. You need to be in a rehab hospital until the pain is under control, which means someone needs to take over his care. "
Starling, that is some great advice. When the parmedics were at my mom's house, getting ready to take her to the hospital... they just assumed due to the age difference, that Lynn was her husband and not mine.
They told her, "don't worry, we will bring him with us. The hospital will put him in the elder care unit until you get better"
I imagine all hospitals have such emergency plans in place for when the caregiver needs medical assistance. Least I HOPE they do!!!
When I thought I was going to need surgery, my doctor told me that if that ever happened to call the hospital social worker. It turned out I didn't need the surgery. I'm fine. But I've never forgot what she said.
And you've just backed me up. The paramedics at your house knew exactly what to do.
Update on Respite care. Va called me back and placed him in nursing home indef contract. I knew nothing about this place. It's 45 minutes from my house but I was so desparate and the social worker assured me they sent many veterns there with no complaints. My daughter and her boyfriend went with me. Dh was totally agitated (like Jan when he ended up in psych ward getting meds checked) and I took him into the bathroom and he pushed me against the wall and held me there with his arm across my chest near my neck. I pushed him hard and yelled "you're hurting me!!" When I got out to the reception area he was screaming and running from me. The receptionist saw what was happening and called a man to "Take him to the dementia unit". Without hesitation, he put his arm around dh and guided him into this locked unit. It was a very old building but immaculate. The nurse came right over and everyone I spoke to was so kind and nice and obviously well trained for this unit. What a breath of fresh air!!! We left and 15 min later I got a call from them saying dh fell, cut his head and was taken to the hosp!!!! Oh, my God!!! But, they explaines that he was with them at the nurses station and his orders came in. When the nurse walked over to get the orders, he fell and got hurt. I understood because he had done this 3 times with me in just the last 2 days. He got 4 stitches and back to the unit. As of this am, all is well. Funny. During the night I woke up to use the bathroom and upon returning, I was startled for a moment because he wasn't in bed!! When I woke up, I was facing away from his side and I thought I could hear him breathing. I feel so relaxed and better knowing he is being cared for and now I can concentrate a little on other things- like healing these broken ribs!! Got oxycodone yesterday but don't feel enough improvement to warrant taking them. I am going to take it day by day. Today my sister and I are going to make ham pie, Italian Rice Pie, Ricotta Pie and Italian Cream Pie. As I write this, it sounds ambitious but it has been so long since I could do this and have a whole day to myself. Enjoy!!!!