Hi, I haven't visited for quite awhile. Glad you are still here. John is currently in stage 6, but his paranoid behaviors are getting worse. We've been dealing with them, but the latest thing he's told both my daughter and son-in-law is that I tried to kill him. I may hate this disease and I am tired, but believe me I haven't attempted murder. I'm concerned if he states this to someone who doesn't understand AD and tries to investigate me on these "charges". Has anyone else had to deal with this situation? PS I'm a nurse and teach nursing, I really don't go around killing people. My daughter gave him a smart remark that "if Mom was trying to kill you, she would have succeeded." Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence, but I really haven't done anything. Carol
Paranoia is definitely a part of the disease. Sorry I can be of no help in advising you how to deal with it. Sounds like a call to the doctor is in order. I know that many others have dealt with this issue. Hopefully, they will be along soon.
Hi Carol B.. I've STOLEN all of DH's money.. the amount changes from several thousand to several hundred thousand.. He believes it. tells our children I've stolen it and behaves terribly about anything regarding money. Thankfully, various ones on this site gave me some pointers that have made this issue much much better. Actually, possibly now, he is moving OUT of that phase as he moves IN to the resistance to bathing phase.. I don't knowww.. But our children at first tried reasoning about the money and that didn't work.. then they resorted to humor and changing the subject.. The only blessing I have noticed is that he doesn't actually STAY as STUCK on that topic now as he was. Maybe this will not last too long for you. But indeed, paranoia exists.. here in a variety of ways.. Our sons have stolen all of his equipment.. his chains (for towing things) especially.. None of these accusations are true. Glad you are a nurse and glad your kids can joke with him. That helps a lot.
Occasionally dh accuses me of taking his money. He wants to see the bank statements and our Investment statements. I show him the ones with his name on them and he can't comprehend them but he is then satisified. Until the next time. Occasionally he tells me son or son in law has taken a tool of his but he hasn't confronted them. I assure him nobody has taken his tools and he is satisfied - until the next time. We have been married for 54 years next month.
I did not realize how common paranoia is to the person w/ AD. For my husband it comes and goes, and so far I am usually able to discuss it with him, and make him realize his suspicions are unfounded, but sometimes there is no reasoning with him and I have to work hard not to get too angry with him--because a lot of his suspicions are directed at our 27 year old son, who would never do anything to hurt him.
Bella, sometimes they pick out a person too constantly attack. i think its Susan L? who has little 9yr old Dylan who is under the same type of verbal attacks. it was my 4yr old grandaughter that got it here and DH son who ws 30yr. we couldnt have them in the same room for 2yrs -he didnt like him AT all. its hard to be on tht end of the abuse and not be able to defend yourself. yo may want to ask his dr about upping his antidepressant? or rx him a med for aggressive behaviour. its good to start them out early on one that you find works well and then it is uppped as needed later. divvi
My husband is living with the delusion that I have boyfriends. He believes he actually saw me invite a man into my bedroom with a beaconing gesture and spent the night with him. Believes he saw us hand in hand the next morning saying goodbye. Continues to call me ungodly names and make accusations about a lot of other things. For years, he's believed I've hidden things from him (this was before I knew what was going on) and it was really hell to try to reassure him I hadn't taken anything from him. He is in a nursing home at this time....recovering from a fall ..... and I intend to bring him home with PLENTY of medications on board.
He has never said anything to our son face to face--hopefully he won't. He always makes his accusations about him to me. But I will keep a close watch on this behavior. Thanks divvi for the suggestion. Stuntgirl, your situation has gotta be very difficult, hopefully it will improve once your husband come home.
Don't you wonder what it is that causes them to "see" other people? Are they dreaming, or hallucinating, or WHAT? It's so hard to understand. Me, I hid all Andrea's bras and underwear. Yep, I just went through her drawers and took them all and hid them. (She must be right, because they're gone. I wonder every now and again where the heck they are. Somewhere around her is a stash of underthings, and it'll be a great laugh when I find them.)
Also, her brother came in our house last night and stole a bunch of stuff. He left the door unlocked so that he could get in and out. He even managed to lock the door behind him so we wouldn't know it was him. He does this a few times a week. (The fact that he lives in Corpus didn't deter her a bit.)
My DH thinks that the Koreans are trying to steal his shoes! Doesn't know why. So.... he hides his shoes overnight and I have to try to find them in the morning. What a game!
Tell your DH that the Koreans need the shoes for rocket fuel....Did you not read the news about North Korea launching their latest missle>>>they are powered by shoes and the smell of old sneakers......so yes, hide the shoes...we do not need more korean missles
My hubby is also paranoid at times, and I believe it has to do with whatever happened to him a long time ago. I can't tell what he's thinking sometimes because his thoughts are all over the place. Paranoia is part of the disease, I know, but it's hard to deal with when you do everything you can to accomodate them and they still don't trust you. I think I understand what the other people on this site are talking about when they " accept it " but it's hard to do.
Our youngest son is a target for blame for 'taking HIS things'. I am the target for spending all of his money (according to our children, I've spent hundreds of thousands of his money).. If there ever had been hundreds of thousands to spend I'd certainly have done some better spending. The lack of trust, jealous, suspicious and negative behavior has been part of his character but now, because of 'the disease' we are more tolerant.. This should not be the case but on rough days, rather than feeling guilty about placing him... we find ourselves asking, is it FINALLY time to put him somewhere? Have to laugh.. we do want the best for him and on good days we appreciate his tenacity and his efforts to stay busy here on the farm, his energy and newfound kindness toward animals. Nuff on that