I once had this very beautiful whimsicle area rug in my livingroom. It fit the entire area perfectly and I had it cleaned just a month ago. Last Fri I fell and hurt my ribs(can't even breathe without pain) and am having an impossible time dressing my dh. Today I took My Dad to the oncologist to begin chemo in two weeks. He is 84, needs a wheel chair, and I can not lift the chair. My brother had to drive Dad to the oncologist (I had breast cancer and a melanoma so I "volunteered" to go to help him understand so I met them there). It is pouring rain and I can barely dress myself. Socks-not possible. Can't bend,twist or get up from a chair without severe pain. The oncologist office was packed and our 45 min appt turned into 2 hours. I had to be back home because my caregiver leaves at 2. Thought I better get an xray but no time. As soon as I made it home, the oncologist called to say she had just gotten my Dads petscan results and there is a concern that he may have a different type of cancer on his kidney and that they would need to do a cat scan. As I was tlaking to her, I had to go to another room for a pen and I heard my dh yelling my name. I wasn't gone 10 seconds when I returned to the room, he had taken down his pants and pooped on my lovely rug!!! I wanted to cry. That wasn't bad enough but he had his sneakers on and walked in it and then it was pushed way into the carpet. My brother was coming over to watch dh so I could go for my xray. I cleaned up as well as possible (can't bend or twist) and felt totally defeated. When my bro came, I warned him about the lovely aroma and had to run. No broken limbs but severe bruising. Too late to call my dr but upon coming home, bro helped my roll up my lovely rug and put it onto patio. He left and I realized that the "aroma" was still very strong. When I got near my dh I noticed poop all over his t shirt and outer shirt!! His sweat pants were covered inside and I then began the battle of the "depends". I won. He got cleaned and I managed to get a t shirt on him but now he is walking around the house with nothing on but this t shirt. Thank God we don't get much company. It's 5:30 and I already changed into my nighty. I am totally exhausted. It's a good thing I don't drink because I'd be emptying the liquor cabinet!! No liquor here. I'm giving him dinner, meds and hoping for and early bedtime. He's still ranting and calling me every name and swear word he ever heard!!!! I feel better now. Thank God for this website. I may even make it through the night without loosing my mind!!!!!
Oh, Kathryn, you've really got your hands full. Dealing with AD is more than enough all by itself, without the additional grief of ill parents and one's own pain. The rug - well, what can I say? I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I do hope your evening/night are better than this day has been. Here's a big ((((((hug))))).
Kathryn, I feel for you. You must be a strong woman to do all that with your back situation. I just cannot imagine. You caregivers dealing with the "poop" situation deserve a medal. I too, hope the rest of your evening goes better.
Kathryn, I am so sorry you are dealing with this at a time when you yourself should be pampered. I am with Imohr, the caregiver's dealing with "poop" detail deserve a medal. Hopefully, you will be able to get some much needed rest. Sending big HUGS you certainly need.
Thanks to all of you. It gave me a much needed laugh. My dh just walked into the wall and yelled at me for hurting him! It's a good thing we can laugh!! I have to be careful about the laughing-it causes so much pain!!!!! I guess the best I can hope for is a virtual drinking party. I saw someone write about a drink that tasted like chocolate dipped strawberries. I wish I remembered where I read it. I am found of Kahlua(sp?) so maybe someone out there knows of a good drink with that. You guys are the best.
Oh my - I just don't think I'm going to be able to deal with the poop patrol. I did it for my baby and 4 dogs, but I don't know if I can do it for a grown man. Gold medal to all of you who do it!
hi Kathryn.. poop queen here. i been dealing with this all day too:) time for depends all the time friend. no if/ands/butts )oops pun:) about it.
as for the carpet dont touch it. you said you rolled it up- let it dry..i know ..:(haha.. and call the professionals first thing tomorrow to clean it again. then roll it up and out of sight. dont lay it out again. too risky it can happen again. if its a treasure , save it for later friend.i have all my persians in rolls out of sight now after having them all cleaned and stored. i loved them but i had to actually throw out a 3500 one a few yrs back i had the same thing happen and tried to clean it with soapy hot water right after and ruined it completely.
you have so much already on your plate to deal with -i am sorry you are ill on top of it all. try not to get upset things happen and it wont be the last time i promise that. so just take it with a grain of salt and chalk it up to learning experience, so you can now remove all the others now.
getting him to stay clothed and in the depends is another issue.. my best, divvi
I am honored to be advised by the poop queen herself!!! He has been in depends for some months now but you are right. I need to get the rug cleaned and not placed down again. You just never know what they'll do- but- once done, you come to expect it. My dh is in Stage 7 and I have him on a waiting list for a nursing home. The VA will pay for him- thank God!! He's 61 and 100% service connected disabled but my choices for nursing home care are very limited. This one seems great. I've checked it out through the state agencies and locals who know the nursing homes here. I cried when I submitted the app but I know I am just at the point where I can no longer care for him. It's just too difficult. I have severe arthritis in both hands (surgery last summer because I dislocate a bone due to arthritis). I always promosed him the best care I could find and now, I'm afraid it's no longer me. But then, he never promised me a "rose garden" so the aromas I now contend with don't break any of his promises!!! Thanks everyone.
Kathryn, that has to be the worst day...the worst nightmare I have ever heard. I was already saying Poor Kathryn when you were trying to get dressed...then your Dad????????.....then the phone call..........then the poop............... ohmyGod! Who else would believe this could happen in one day.
PLEASE listen to Divvi and don't try to clean the rug yourself. There are people who do that for a living, and that's why they get paid the "big bucks"...so to speak. If they won't, call a restoration company....(they go in homes after fires, shootings, and they can get ANY stain (blood, etc.) or smell out of a home. They use a green jelly-like product that comes in five gallon cans. They place it in the air return of your heating/air conditioning system and it will knock out any smell - and leave a cool minty like smell. In Houston, it's Cotton Restoration and/or ServPro. I was just told they are located in many different areas of the country. I am sooooooooooo sorry.
I can only imagine how "beat up" you must feel emotionally.
((Kathryn)) I don't have the emotional energy to read all the posts, but some titles just grab my attentions.. your sure did! *wink. You poor thing!!!! I'm not sure how you handled any of this with hurt ribs!!! I broke 3 a few years back and I coudn't breath without pain. Say nothing about trying to care for your DH, your Dad, your testing... and the poop on your beautiful rug, might have been the last straw for me. You have a great sense of humor, it will take you far!!!! :)
This one line you said, summed up how I felt when I put in the applications too... "I always promosed him the best care I could find and now, I'm afraid it's no longer me."
Wishing you peace and strength to get through all you are facing. Much love, Nikki
It was a tough evening. Dh took his meds as usual and went to bed around 8. An hour later he woke up agitated, yelling at "someone in the room". I knew I needed to get more meds into him so I called his dr. She added 200 mg serouuel ( to the already 600 he normally takes) and 1 mg of atavan( to the already 2 mg he usually takes). It takes alot of med to calm him down. By 10:00 he wanted to go to bed so off he went. I went in at 11:00 and he was up!!!. How could this be?????????????????? I got him resettled and off to sleep. Two hours later, he's up again! He cannot figure out how to get back into bed without help, so here I go . My ribs are so painful every time I move I yell!! Up I go, talk to him. 45 min later, he's back in bed and in another hour, he's up!!! This went on all night. I was loosing it. My pain, lack of sleep and frustration got the best of me. I yelled at him to please go to sleep. I prayed out loud to God to give me the strength to get through this. I decided I was going to try to put him into respite care for a few days. I need to heal and get a break from the jibbering!!! I called the Va, left a message and am waiting to hear. I do not know how to tell him if he goes. He doesn't even know my daughter when she visits. I don't want to agitate him but, I need help with this one. ANy suggestions?
I have no idea how often mine gets up in the night. He certainly rearranges things. I've stopped leaving his morning clothes by the bed; they're in the closet so he won't go there. He knows I'll hear him if he comes out (cowbells on the doorknob) so he doesn't. BUt I don't really CARE if he's in bed as long as he's quiet and doesn't wake me.
Kathryn i think you are thinking correctly in getting some respite. they will know how to medicate him to calm him down. we dont like to overmedicate any of us, but at some point we have to help them. its not in their best interest to not sleep and have fear and hallucinations that upset them and you. you need some time to recoup in peace before tackling his issues. he could even accidently (i mean by accident only)) injure you more in the process..i think its definately the right decision. Bluedaze is a war veteran (oldie) here and her DH is in a facility now too and had these same issues with FTD. he was quite angry and she was unable to calm him on ANY meds and he got quite violent. there were no options but placement in her situation as well. she may be along shortly and validate my post to you. my best and hope you pull this off successfully for all. Divvi and i ask for patience and guidance many times myself..
kathryn - when you put him in respite care go with the mental state you are going to stay home and not go visit. When my BIL was put into the VA respite for a week, the nurses told her to stay away. He was being put there so she could get some rest and to do just that - they would take good care of her hb. And they did. We would go visit midway thru the week and when he asked we just told him he was there so she could get some much needed rest. He would whine and even cry but we would work to get him to understand that if she didn't get rest he would have to stay longer. He was never happy but agreed she needed rest.
I am so tired. I went to the dr and he said I have a few broken ribs. Between not sleeping(my dh will stand up and babble. Sometimes, he'll think he's in the bathroom and pee wherever. That's why I have to be alert when he's awake. Once he gets out of bed, he can't get back in without my help. I'm exhausted and weeping. The Va dr called me about respite and all I could do was cry. She wanted to know when I was thinking of respite and I said asap. She'll call me tmrw am. Please God, let this work. She said they only keep him for 2 days the first time (he's never had respite before). I hope it's enough.I just need time alone for a few days with the phone turned off and no visitors. I want to sleep and wake up without pain. Dr put me on Vicodin. I took it 2 hrs ago-still in pain. How long does it take to kick in? Anybody know?
When I visited my husband today I asked what the aids used to clean up poop. They use shaving foam. Said it kills the odor, is gentle on the skin, cheap and really works. Hopes this helps someone.
Shaving cream is very good at removing stains, too. Had some friends that had coffee spilled on their white carpet and nothing took it out. Heard about shaving cream - told her and it worked. It also works to clean mirrors with to keep them from fogging up when showering.
Kathryn0907 - wow, you certainly do have a lot on your plate. It sounds like you are taking all the right steps to take care of both of you. I've done the bit with interrupted sleep and agree - it was awful. I was trying to take care of him at night and work full time - not a good combination. I am very glad that I am not in health care or some other profession where lives could be lost if I make the wrong choice due to sleepiness and stress.
There is some excellent advice up above - have to try the shaving cream for stain removal......
I'm sorry you have so much to deal with right now and hope you do get him into respite tomorrow. I only wish it could be for a longer time. You need rest and time to heal. Take care.
Shaving cream sounds like good advice. It's on sale this weel at Rite Aid too- .99!!! Probably should be buying it by the case. I am a little concerned tonight. When his caregiver brought him back today, it sounded like he was having a hard time. Usually Gene responds to his request, i.e. "step up" but nothing was aorking. He was stumbling and needed alot of support not to fall.Totally new for him. Sitting with him this afternoon, he fell twicw when he got up from the couch!! Hit his head really bad the second time. After icing, I asked him to try to relax and stay seated. I am wondering if he is as tired as I am and maybe not able to focus as wel or I wonder if he had another TIA?? Even if it was a TIA I would not take him in for treatment. He already takes Plavix and a baby aspirin due to his last one in 2004. His Mom had many, many TIAs before she died in 1995.I'm hoping he'll take his meds and get some sleep tonight. If it weren't for the UCONN girls playing for the NCAA championship, I'd be in bed now!! That is my alma mater and we are quite proud of them here in Ct. Thank God for title IX and female athletes. WHen I was in school, there was no such thing. We are so capable in so many ways, I don't know why it took government intervention to give girls the same rights as boys. Foegive me for digressing, I get a little heated when I think of some of the rediculous barriors we have had to overcome.
Boy, I should have proof read that last section of comments- enough spelling errors!!!! I hated to type. Still not very good at it but I guess being tired has really done me in. Sorry.
Kathryn - if we graded every ones spelling and grammar there would be so many "f's". We don't read for the spelling or grammar. Have you ever seen that email where the spelling is all jumbled up? They say as long as the first and last letter are correct, it will be read correctly. Even if not in the post, I think we all easily figure out what was meant - or sure hope so.
Thenneck. sure we can have a poop king..we need to see credencials first to see who deserves the title then we can vote..
men, if you are doing poop patrol let us know your qualifications. we are giving out a new highly prized title tonite!!!!!!!!! aka Divvi:) the Poop Queen.. we can sit on the 'throne' together...hows that for a nice punchline?????????
I myself will not apply for Poop King, as I only had a small reign in that area. I will accept a Nighthood, seeing as how the poop doody always happened at night, right when I thought I was going to get some sleep.
It was kind of the Aha moment in that area, the night we were at the table eating dinner, and she said she needed to go to the bathroom. I pointed the way, and off she trotted. Next thing I hear a tremendous sound of water splashing on the floor. She had taken down her pants and jsut squatted right there on the floor! I started to ask, "what the %&* are you doing?" but she immediately began apologizing and looked just like a little kid. I felt terrible for even thinking she had any control over it.
After that I tried to watch carefully, but you just can't watch 24 hours a day. She wandered at night, and I was exhausted. Several mornings I would find a pooplet or two in the tub. Heavens knows why she chose to sit on the rim of the tub (NEXT to the toilet!) and do her thing, but she did. At least I never had the Kathryn problems. Extra jewel in your crown, dear.
Hmmm well we all have to draw a line somwhere an after reading about the rug episode I believe I know where mine will be,since I can't hit her with a rolled up newspaper or put her nose in it she will be in a nursing home very quickly when she gets to that point,say what ya want but I ain't doin that
ol don, I had to laugh when I read your post but I can really understand how you feel. Right now that's how I feel. I don't think I can go thu that. Of course, time will tell.
Poop Patrol finally happened last week. Yuck!! I cannot deal with poop!! All over the bathroom carpet, rug, down the hall... poop stuck under door. Thank goodness I know a carpet cleaner. I do not like this stage!!!
aaah.. the perils of joining the poop patrol. we know it well! so sorry its come to this but yes it happens to the best of them. and us. all you can do is try to remain vigilant and catch them if they start looking ansy and pacing alot. it made a huge difference for me to buy my own hoover carpet shampooer! i went thru 2 of them.. sigh.. so sorry.