I am new here and my DH is in the very early stages. I noticed his forgetting things about 2 years ago but his doctor said there was no problem. Then he had a spell that he could not remeber any thing with numbers. Not our debit card password, not our street number, telephone number or his SS number. It was bad. He stopped the new meds he had been put on and went to see his doctor. He was than referred to a neurologist. He put him on Residyne and said he was starting with dementia. He did mention AL to me but my DH did not catch it. His hearing is bad anyway but he also has a bit of selective hearing. So far he is still able to work and drive. He knows what is happenig but chooses to make fun of it. He will tell me he has to take his anti-crazy pill. He forgets somethings but I have noticed if he gets upset his memory is really bad. He is also getting very moody and crabby. It is not easy. We have had our grand-daughter since she was 6 months old and she is now 9 years old. We are the parents her parents could not be and will never be. My son is her father and he has his own problems that he feels he does not need to fix. I know she notices this in her Papa but so far has not asked and I am not sure what to tell her. She is so young and has so much on her plate as it is. I am 59 and he is 72. I have to tell you all I am scared and not so sure I can do this. I spent the first 2 weeks crying and than I got mad. Now I am only scared. We have no closeness, no touching any more. It is like sleeping alone most of the time. Lucky for me I have always been the one to handle the finances. At least I know where we are and what I will have and not have. It will not be much. There was no planning for the future here so I will keep working as long as I can. I am not so sure what will happen when the time comes I can't leave him alone. Well I have to get back to work. I can only come on line here because otherwise he is over my shoulder reading what I type or looking to see what I am doing. Thanks for the place to vent. Trudy
hi Trudy, i am new here too. i am 56 and AD husband is 73yr. i can relate, i have been 24/7 caregiver to husband now going on 11yrs. the early yrs were the worst. aggression/denial/driving issues/snotty attitudes/etc luckily i too did all financials. i have an aide 2/wk for 4hrs to get out and breathe but it took me many yrs to realize i needed to get into the real world. friends/relatives are non issues at this point even his 3 grown kids never even ask how he is unless its xmas or bday. the losses and sadness associated with an afflicted spouse is overwhelming we not only lose our life partner but gain a new child to care for. mine is now in the late middle range and easy to manage but has health issues cropping up often. urinary tract infections becomes quite common is AD persons. i hope you manange to get yours on the alz meds asap, they will help him retain his abilities longer and stem alot of sundowning and aggressive habits associated as the disease progresses. its hell and hate to see newbies as i well know what lies ahead... i whish you the best and hope to add any input and read how you are coping. Divvi
Hi Trudy, I am new to this AD thing. Reading your comments I thought I was talking to myself. Thirteen years difference in my husbands age and mine. I have also had my grandson to raise for 16 of his 19 years. He and my husband have never gotten along too well (second marriage for both of us) and the grandson is from my son (previous marriage). Our marriage has not been a "great" one and we have separate bedrooms (25 years), so I am not too concerned about being alone, just if I am going to be able to handle it all... along with school issues, teenage issues etc. (my grandson is still in school, has LD and requires a lot of my attention). Right now I wish I had never been born... I have a strong faith in God, but I feel as though he has just put too much on my shoulders and they are about to give way under the weight.
Hello, and sorry we have to "meet" under these circumstances. I think we they come under stress - whether physical or emotional - it magnifies their symptoms. The other thing is if he is depressed on top of the AD, that could make his confussion/forgetfulness worse as well. Is he on a med for depression now?
Martha,
When you feel yourself about to give under the weight - that's when you need to give it to God to carry. I used to tell God all the time - I think you've misjudged me. I can't do this. But it wasn't until I told Him that I needed His help and asked Him to carry my burden for me that things got better - that I felt like I could breathe. Psalm 34:18 says "God is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." He's right there beside you waiting to catch you.