My dh has told me several times that he doesn't want to lose his license. He enjoys driving to the golf course and down to the drug store to have coffee with the "old guys" once in a while. I do all the driving other than his little errands. We live in a small town of less than 2500 people so no matter where he goes it is only a few blocks. When the time comes our PCP will be the one to tell him he has to quit driving.
But Sheila are you certain no one would be upset if he had a collision or hit a kid? Remember how they say most accidents occur within a mile of home... I assume he doesn't play golf alone. Can you work out carpooling?
Sheila, I thought my husband was okay to drive to the golf course alone...which he had done many many times. Then one day he went I thought everything was fine, he came home about 3 hours later which was about right, however, he had made it to the golf course okay, he wasn't able to play...due to an outing. He decided to go to another Golf Course that he knew very well, but, he got lost, ended up about 5 miles from our home...but, had no idea where he was. He stopped for directions, however, didn't understand what the man was telling him. By the grace of God he finally noticed something that looked familiar, which helped him find his way home. Just a detour in the street they travel everyday can confuse them. My husband was still in the early stages when this happen. Surely, one of his buddies can pick him up for golf.
2009 Lloyd was done driving. We went to see a friend out of town and I got tired on the way home on the highway. I pulled over and he took over and just couldn't do it. That was it.
Update to the driving issue in the state of Georgia: Because my husband absolutely refused to stop driving and refused to take the driving test, the neurologist told me she "could" report it to Drivers Services and ask them to revoke his license. I insisted that she do that. We received the notice from State of Georgia yesterday that he has until June 5th to turn in his license.
When I talked with the doctor about it yesterday she told me Georgia Dept. of Driver Services has an on-line form for physicians to complete to report this type situation. She also said that until now she thought that Georgia was a non-reporting state - meaning it was voluntary. But - she said she saw on the on-line form that all physicians are supposed to be reporting their patients who should not drive. Hubby is only the second patient she had reported.
I took the car keys away from my DH last July, when he got confused driving the one mile to the corner store. Up until then he had been okay going on short trips and using his GPS so that he wouldn't get lost. Usually I did most of the driving on longer trips anyway. He did not fight it much - the car was already registered in my name. In September, when his doctor gave us the diagnosis of AD, DH asked her if he could drive - she said no, he could not. And I know that she reported him, because a month later we got the notice from SAAQ (the vehicle/driver licensing bureau here in Quebec) that his license was suspended for medical reasons, and that if he wanted it reinstated he would need to have his physician okay him medically. I didn't even show DH the notice, since he had not fussed about not having his license, and I knew that his doctor would not approve him for driving, even though his AD symptoms had improved since he started taking Aricept. In the meantime, we have downsized from 2 vehicles to one. Because we live out in the country, about 15 miles from the nearest town, there are times when I wish he still had his license, because it is a pain having to take him into town for various meetings he attends when I would rather stay home, but for the most part, because I have always done the bulk of the driving anyway, it hasn't really made much of a difference.
I'm having this problem too. My LO didn't drive all winter because of health problems, but he's feeling abit better so wants to drive again. I can't let him do it. I am liable for any accident he might have and his is very likely to have one. Someone might get hurt and I might loose everything. Sorry he's mad (and I am bracing myself for a miserable spell of anger), but I won't end up with nothing just to keep him happy. Oh well...
This is the third time he has taken the tests written and driving....and he has passed it again!!! He will get tested again in December. I'm like msabby I worry about him hurting someone else. But if he has his license then the insurance is still valid and everything is covered. I'm going to talk to his geri-phys doctor and see if she will write a letter. His GP won't.
I was so sure he was going to lose it that I went and got the truck restored thinking I would be the only one driving it. No more him running into things and now.....
I'm also waiting for a miserable spell when it does get taken away.
amber, have you talked with you insurance company? I know the laws vary by state and policies vary by company, but the insurance might refuse to cover him due to his dx. Or they might cover him. Better to know for sure now.
My husband had agreed to do the driving test at the rehab hospital (very thorough) once a year. This year he didn't want to face flunking it and voluntarily gave up driving. Our car insurance will go down a little when I take him off--we need to go get him a state-issued ID to replace the drivers license and send the insurance company a picture of it. But I asked about what would happen if we sold one car (for insurance purposes our household is my husband and I and our two college-age kids and we own three cars). It turns out that because my daughter has had her license for less than three years, if we sell my son's car, which we paid $6,000 for three years ago, our insurance costs will actually go up because the insurance automatically assumes she is driving our least valuable car. The other two cars are 2008 and 2009 Scions, so it isn't that they are expensive cars.
Pam, how odd that removing a car will increase your insurance. When we dropped auto insurance for my wife we saw very little change in our rates. In her case she agreed to stop driving so we just waited for her license to expire and got a state ID card. The person at the DMV suggested she consider keeping her license or taking a special test, thankfully my wife was committed to retire her license. I assume if you sold a Scion your insurance might drop, but this might not make sense if you consider the oldest car to be the least reliable one.
The one pain of having an extra care is remembering to drive an maintain it. We had two cars when our son was born but we didn't use them to commute so one would not get driven very often. As a result of infrequent driving the battery tended to go dead and the muffler needed too frequent replacement (partly due to poor muffler design). So consider the insurance costs, other costs and convenience of having the 3rd car. For the most part, for us, having 1 car was more convenient than having 2.
Paulc - in BC Canada - we have provincial (gov't) insurance and they said that as long as he passes the driving test he's insured and I also talk to the license department and same thing. Only way I can get it taken right now is if one of his doctor writes in.
We insure each car individually and the factors are underage driver under 25 or over age 65, work or pleasure or business use, area and age/style of vehicle black book value. So if I stop insuring one vehicle my insurance drops by half. But if you were driving my vehicle and you got into an accident then it reflects back on me and my insurance goes up. Makes you not want to lend out your vehicle.
I lived in Vancouver from 81 to 84 while I attended UBC. I now live in Virginia. I was always a US citizen. I didn't get to travel much in BC, which I regret, but it did drive most of the way north on Vancouver Island and did drive from Vancouver to Toronto one summer.
I lived in the fraser valley almost all my life and now in the cariboo the last 10 years. Haven't been down in that part of the states. I've been to the west coast Washington...lived really close to the border several blocks away and would always go over to the dairy...one word to boarder guard "milk" not now have to have my passport and full itinerary, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, vegas!!!, Phenix Arizona, flew in and out of LA and Maine and Vermont? is that the state beside it. Once I've finished this journey I would like to travel all over the states and see my neighbour. Who know maybe I'll beable to meet up with some of the people from here for lunch!
Amber, I am not that far (compared to others) from you and others in BC. When we lived in Seattle we went up to hockey games in BC - WHL games and a couple times the Canucks.
I let my husband drive this trip but he also knows that when his license expires in September he will get an ID instead of license. What it will do to my insurance I have no idea. Maybe lower it at least until I turn 65.
It's been 6 months since neurologist reported to Motor Vehicle Dept. that husband lacks the capacity to operate a motor vehicle. It's still a daily struggle that he can't accept...I am still hiding the car keys and will probably have to continue this for some time. I too am the responsible party if he should elect to drive. We could lose everything...not to mention endangerment to others. Everything with is this guy is World War 3
Charlotte - been to Seattle afew times, what a great city. Been up the space needle and all over the place. Used to know people that lived there and would visit. Entiat in western Washington is where a good friend of mine lives.
lulliebird - I so hear you. I will be right where you are when he loses his. Maybe we can compare war stragies together.
Amber, The are no war strategies where alzheimers disease exists...they always win the battle! I am learning (very slowly and painfully) that it's sometimes better to raise the white flag. Not that I would ever allow him to have access to the car keys, but just re-direct his thought process.
Charlotte, I think many men particularly have a problem losing their driving privelges. Just wondering if any of the guys have had this problem with their dementia wives? hmmm, something to chew on
A miracle happened yesterday for us! DH had until June 5th to surrender his license so he finally agreed to go with me yesterday. When we arrived he was confused because of the strange place, etc. He got restless because we had to wait about 15 minutes. I approached the DDS representative and she said the wait would be an additional 45 minutes. Explained to her that he was an AZ patient there to surrender his license and was getting agitated having to wait. Praise God, she moved us to the top of the list and took him immediately. He surrendered his license without a word. What a relief.
In Ontario Canada when a formal (written) diagnosis of Alzheimer's is made one copy must be sent to the Ministry of Transport. The ministry then suspends that person's license immediately and informs the patient in writing of this. The patient is permitted to get retested and if they pass, they can be certified again for a time before needing to retest again.
It was the geriatric specialist of our region who explained this to me as she filled out the formal diagnosis. Within two weeks we had the letter from the ministry informing us her license had been suspended.
At that time Dianne was still able to fool people because her cognitive losses weren't readily apparent. She would never have passed the written test though.
She had already stopped driving a few months earlier of her own accord. When our GP diagnosed her it was in the same way as when they tell you that you have a cold. But when we went the route of the diagnosis being confirmed by the specialist - the loss of her license became automatic.
In US law, I've been reading through this thread, I would have taken away her license earlier even though she still had skills. The reason is I would not have run the risk of being sued that we knew she had Alzheimer's as a basis for negligence on her part. It's not easy to prove that some state of AD made us negligent. But I wouldn't take the risk of using my resources to defend myself.
Wolf, Quebec is like Ontario in that once the diagnosis is made, the diagnosing physician (in our case our GP) notifies the SAAQ (Societe d'Assurance Automobile de Quebec). SAAQ informs the patient by registered mail that the license will be suspended within 2 weeks. There is a 60 day period in which to appeal the decision. The patient can send a written request for review, including which would include any new information the physician might have in order to reapply for a license and be retested at that time. I had pulled T's driving privileges a couple of months before his diagnosis - he still had a lot of his driving skills, but I wasn't prepared to take the risk. He was bitter about it at the time, but once the GP told him he could no longer drive, he was fine with it.
It's been over 6 months now that spouse has lost his driver's license and he still can not accept it. I have to hide the keys and can't accidently lay them down on the countertop. He tells everyone I am the cause for his license being revoked. HIs neurologist, determined he can not make executive decisions (he blames me for taking him to this doctor). It's a constant battle this driving issue and I don't expect it to go away for a long time. He resents me for this and bashes me to his family and friends.
Yesterday I needed his driver's license number to change our voter registration. He mentioned that it expires in September. I told him yes and when it does you will be getting an ID instead of a license. He said 'I am'. I said yes cause you should not be driving any longer. yes, you have the ability to drive, but there are a lot of decisions and memory involved in responsible driving and you do not have that ability anymore.
I don't know what you mean to the top? There's not another page. My dh has been calm this afternoon and evening. He said he was sorry, which he always does. I called the body shop and ask them to please keep the car till Wed. That is when he goes to driver control, and hopefully they revoke. He is a retired State Trooper, not Ar., also drove truck many years, he just knows he's a great driver. He refuses to believe he can't drive. I can tell he is loosing ground, even on menatene.
to the top means the thread is brought to the head of threads. This particular thread has 13 pages. If you click on 1 it will take you back to the beginning.
Thanks. I've been reading a lot of these message boards. I am surprised that a lot of them could have been written by me, It sure helps to know I'm not alone.
My husband's neurologist did me a huge favor by contacting Motor Vehicles. It took the burden off of me.
It will be almost 1 year since husband's driver's license has been revoked, and I am still hiding the keys. They lack self awareness (which in some ways is a blessing), but a curse because they will not accept why they can not drive.
You can not reason with someone with dementia anymore then you can reason with a small child. You have to take control and not allow the disease to control you.
When we moved from the other RV park to here last week, I asked him if he wanted to drive. For the first time he said 'no, I shouldn't be driving any more'. Evidently what I have been telling him about liability and if he can't remember how can he be sure he will remember what to do' has sunk in. Also, I ask if he can't remember and gets in an accident, how are you going to tell your side of the story if you can't remember what just happened?
My dh license has been revoked. He started his ranting yesterday afternoon, carried over to this morning, but I noticed it was not as vicious today and he started to mellow out. Is fine now, at least till the next time. It is quite a relief, unless he tries to sneak his car out. One giant hurdle down.
When my husband's license was revoked, he was angry and then calmed down but what that really meant was that he forgot what happened. Every few weeks I had to explain to him all over again that his license had been revoked and he went through the hurt and sadness all over again. I would still advise you to try to get his car keys away from him ASAP, by whatever means. I took the keys out of his pocket (along with his credit card & Medicare card) when he was in the shower. I just removed the car key and left the house keys.
My DH really did loose at least 3 sets of keys and in between he "lost" others that I would find in strange places. So finally I just hid the "lost" ones when I found them. His license was never revoked, but I put his old one in his wallet and kept the valid one and also took all his insurance cards. I carry all of that in my purse for when we go to Drs or hospital for tests.
He hasn't driven for nearly 2 years. Thank God that battle is over.
I wish my dh would lose his keys. The car came back to day and he had to drive around the circle to back it into the garage. Then he was talking about going for gas, so while he was out by the car, I called driver control, took the phone out to him. She told him his license was revoked day before yesterday and he could not drive it anywhere. He ranted, but it wasn't directed at me. Well he did ask a few times,if I called them ( fiblet). He says he will.get a lawyer, I don't think he knows how to do that. I hope he doesn't remember every few weeks, ugh. I think they are sending him a letter. I keep hoping he will forget what a key is. Good luck Bonnie
i remember some one filed the car key a bit so it wouldn't work. until you can safely remove the starter key I would try that. its hard but if hes aware enough to try to drive without a license you must find a way to keep him off the roads. divvi
He got the letter today revoking his lic. Was very depressed, tears ran down his cheeks. I felt so bad for him, wouldn't let me take him to exercise, but did mow lawn and then was in a good mood. He worried about my back pain. I'm finding if I can change the subject or divert him in some way works. He said he lost one set of his keys. Put the one he had for my car in my car, so I just need to get the other set from him. I want to get rid of his car, but know it's too soon to bring that subject up. We just need to look for rainbows Bonnie
Oh how sad and cruel this disease is. Poor guy....I hope he can adjust quickly to the loss of his license.
Mine is still focused almost daily on the driving debate. Just yesterday he saw one of our neighbors riding his golf cart to the course...guess what? You got it. Now husband is focused on getting a golf cart. GEEZ LOUISE
I'm in the same boat in trying to get his license revoked but here if he passes their drivers exam and test then he can keep his license. Even though his GP and geri psych have both written letters and I have called both motor vehicle branch and the insurance company. Go figure eh!
Lullie - I got him an ATV to use the only problem is it is something new to learn and he couldn't figure out how to use it. So now it's mine to use to take the dogs out for a run....I really like it!
Amber, An ATV...how fun is that? A golf cart..nah because I don't play golf.
Bonnie, Fiblets are necessary with this disease. I am now the Queen of the Fiblet: its saved many an argument. The more you use them the more creative you will become. A year ago I would have thought of lying to him, but the circumstances have changed and you can not reason with them anymore, because they are ALWAYS right!