My husband has a sister with the same symptoms he has. She is further along being the oldest. He hasn't seen her in some time but she lives close enough for it to be possible and he expresses a desire to see her. His other siblings tell me that it is hard to see her this way because she was always the smartest one of the family. She even started our local diabetes office. Here's the problem: When something affects him profoundly (which I think this will) he becomes obsessed with it and brings it up any time he can. He still relives his hated stint in the army over 50 years ago. What would you do? Am I more worried about my putting up with the results or the fact that he will compare himself to her and become depressed over where he is headed? We believe his mother also had AZ though she was never diagnosed. Thanks for your help
I doubt he'll recognize the problems with her or relate them to her. My husband sees other people with Alz in the support group sitting room, and he doesn't connect that to him at all.
I agree Briegull. Let him see his sister. He'll see her as she was.... and won't be quizzing her and testing her current level of intelligence. As they progress, they go back in memories and he is "with his sister" in his mind now... Let them be together. It would be good for both of them. My DH loves to hear his sister's voice over the phone. SHe is about the only one he wants to "hear" over the phone.
i find it quite amusing to have two AD persons together. they talk and smile and retell the same things over and over and over and continue to act like its the first time to hear it. and like the others say no judging behaviours or IQ so they relate to their own kind i do believe it can be a good thing. i wish i had another AD person for DH to talk to and be freinds with. awwww...and no he is incontinent so daycare wont work at this point. divvi
Ditto again ..We visited a lovely Memory Care Facility in Austin (Querencia,Ditto)..and it was so good watching the men play a kid's bowling game on a raised table similar to Shuffleboard. They were having (their kind of ) FUN together. Actually, about five men were standing and watching one man roll the ball towards the pins. Over and over and over. One of the men was non verbal...and others were obviously 5-6.
I watched the people more than I checked the rooms, bathrooms, showers, etc. My daughter was doing that. I wanted to know the residents were comfortable and had interaction around them. This place proved to me that they could do that.
Joan, I agree with others, make plans for the visit. Depending on where he's at in stages he might have some questions, but honestly he will forget about them soon enough. My Dh was diagnosed 3 wks before his Dad passed from complications from AD. So basically thru all the testing and everything that led to Dh's diagnosis he was with his Dad who was in the final stages. Of course he was sad to watch his dad slipping, but honestly the "reason' button was already broken for him. So though he was facing his own destiny in his face, he really didn't recognize completely. No matter what your Dh needs to still have the bonds with his loved ones even though they may have issues as well. All tooooooo soon, you will find that visits from family and friends become less and less. So every opportunity to have social events, go for it!
joan1012 - my FIL went through a time in later stages where he lived the war. I remember one visit (we traveled over 3000 miles) all he talked about was over in France during the war. They progress back in age and that is where he was. That might be where you hb is at in his mind.
One of DH's In-Home Doctors began chatting with him after his exam recently and in so doing, asked him if he remembered the Korean war. "Korea?" replied DH, "No...we didn't have a war with Korea."..When then asked about WWII, he said "Oh yes! That is a terrible war!". That put his memory back into the 1940's ..(His 20's). The House Call Doctors of Texas are a wonderful group of doctors, that come to the home for routine physicals, but can do EEG's, echocardiograms, lab work, and other procedures. My DH is so much more relaxed and the exams last from 30-45 minutes, which is wonderful for ME as well, becasue we have more time for questions. (Divvi, they are based out of Austin!)