For a while now, my husband has had a negative reaction when the phone rings. The way he reacts, you would think that he and I are on an idyllic island, having the time of our lives here, and then the phone rings and he thinks it's a huge intrusion! Tonight it occurred to me that maybe the sound of the phone is jarring to him, so I lowered the ringers as far as they will go. Anyone else experience this? It's not really a problem or annoying, but I do find it an interesting phenomenon.
My husband doesn’t like the sound of the telephone ringing, either. A lot of the time we have the ringers on the phones turned off. We have voicemail, so we get messages, and I call people back when I can. One good thing about having the phones turned off is that they always seem to ring when you are right in the middle of something. This way I feel no guilt for not answering the phone, because I don’t hear it ring.
DH also does not like to hear the sound of the television or any sort of music. This is harder to get used to. I love listening to music while I work around the house, because it feels like it gives me energy. Usually I only play music when I’m in the office (or the car) by myself, but sometimes I just have to have it. Sometimes I watch television with the sound off and the captions on. Other times I feel like my need to have music or television in my life is greater than his need not to hear them. We are alone in the house all the time, and music and television are my little windows into the outside world.
It's a constant dance and the steps change without warning. What is fine one day is unacceptable the next. How I long for the days when I had the house to myself for eight hours at a time.
Mine worries mightily when the phone rings, won't pick it up, listens to the answering machine but gets it all wrong. He also makes noise all the time. Puff puff puff (not breathing, just noises.) fuff fuff fuuffff... so when he gets going I start singing or humming loudly enough for him to hear - and amazingly, he quiets down.
Kadee, My husband also doesn't like me to be on the phone either--reminds me of a little kid. After I hang up, he says disgustedly, "Who was that?. Lately, I've been saying things like "You know how we women like to gab on the phone" and making jokes about it being a female thing....he seems to be able to accept it a little better in that context. So different than before--he could have cared less how much time I was on the phone.
What is it about the phone? even deep into this disease and from the initial onslaught, DH was in my face when i am on the phone. and babbling so close to me i cant hear a word. have resorted to go into closets to talk at times. as an atty he detested speaking on the phone, you can imagine how much he did it in 50yrs law practice so i cant understand his need now. i have thought he needed to be included in the calls so i usually ask the other party to say hi to him hoping that would suffice but the babbling continued enough to make it impossible to hear. lately though hes been much better and listens intently when i talk so i am making apoint of speaking clearly and close to him so he can hear the conversation now. he smiles now when i put the phone to his ear for his 'hi'..just so wierd..divvi
When I get a call from my daughter or granddaugther "just to talk" - I walk into the kitchen with the phone - then bring a box of cookies (always vanilla wafers!) and a glass of water or juice to DH..Then, I wander back into another room and continue our conversation. I have diverted his attention away from the phone call and it works for ME!!
My DH loves to run and pick up the phone. Of course, he will talk to anyone and doesn't know who they are unless it's my Mom or one of his friends who still calls. I really wish he would not pick up the phone as I never get a message and I don't know what he says to the "charities" who call for donations. Sometimes he volunteers to do neighborhood fund raising. I then have to send back the Kits they send with an explanation! On the other hand, when I am on the phone he listens to every word on my end and totally misinterprets what the conversations are about. He thinks my Mom is mad at my Dad or that I am talking about him when I am not or the funniest one last week when he accused my Mother of telling me to get a boyfriend and I agreed!!! I wish!
For those of you whom the ringing is a problem--yesterday, when turning down the ring volume I discovered I can change the ring tone as well. I changed it to something that sounds like Tinkerbell. I also found that the answering machine had been ringing in addition to the phones, and turned that ring volume down. I must say it's much more pleasant and I think my husband will be able to tolerate the sound now.