You never know who will offer help. This morning when DH got up he didn't know what day it was and I could tell by his face he was kind of out of it. He went back to bed and I went to church by myself. After church I went to the restaurant we go every Sunday. The hostess and out waitress wanted to know where DH was....I told them he wasn't feeling well and that he had AD, which they hadn't known. Both of them told me if I needed anything to let them know. The waitress even gave me her phone number so you just never know who is willing.
Jean that is very true. i had to go back to a CVS pharmacy for an old rx numbr and the girls behind the counter said they were glad to see me and asked bout DH. when they work in the pharmacy and fill your rx for 15yrs they know by your meds what your 'status' is! haha. they were kind enough to ask about DH -one of them had a gmpa that succumbed to AD -its true mostly the sympathy and help will come from someone who 'knows' what AD is all about. they always fill my RX before everyones as they know DH is sometimes waiting in the car and i only have minutes. its very refreshing.
i am glad the ladies at the restaurant were as kind. divvi
Early on, when DH was first diagnosed, I quite going to get my hair done regularly b/c I was nervous about money, etc. When I finally understood how things were working and that I could do some normal things and spend some normal money, I went back to my hairdresser. I explained my absence and immediately, he told me that when DH got to the point when he couldn't go out anymore, he'd be glad to come to the house and cut his hair and mine! DH wasn't even his customer and I had only been going for about a year. I was so moved by the kindness. We don't live there anymore, but I'll never forget his immediate response to help.
My wife has a friend at church that has been very helpful. She usually takes my wife for an outing once a week. She has offered to do more, but I do not want to impose. It is nice to have someone not family to offer help.
moorsb, I would be up the proverbial creek without friends. My closest family (niece) lives in Scotland. Parents and siblings are all gone on the greater rewards I hope! We never had children and after reading some of the posts about the offspring not calling or visiting that may not be a big loss. I am sure there are many children who are a great help but you just never know about them either.
You Do Never Know! I went to the dentist yesterday for my crown. I don't even remember how the conversation started...I guess every conversation I have now deals with dementia. But anyway, the Dental Assistant & I were talking about my husband & what it was like living with someone who has dementia. All of a sudden she was crying, telling me how bad she felt for what we were going through. Then I felt bad for making her cry. She said, she never realized what dementia was really like & thought only older people suffered from it. That was the first time I comforted & hugged a Dental Assistant. It was somehow touching to me that she felt my pain.
The closest family is 30 miles away. Our grown kids in their 30's are pretty much useless. They do not even call to see how things are going, much less actually offer help. My stepson lives in Austin, and when we first told him about his mom's health he wanted us to move to Austin so that he could be of more help. About 2 months later he tells me he is planning on moving to Europe, I guess he thought about his offer and decided to get the hell out of Dodge.
I live in a very small town of 6,000 people. About 6 months ago we got a new TV and when they delivered and set it up, I had to tell them that DH had ALZ as he was lots of dumb question. The two delivery men were very kind and patient with him. Well, a few weeks ago my DH was trying to install new wiper blades on the car out front. The store with the two delivery men went by and waved at him. After the men made their delivery they came back by and DH was still trying to do the wiper blades...They just stopped the truck in the middle of our street, jumped out and did both blades for him. We only knew them from them dlivering our TV. I was watching from inside the house and started crying. There are some wonderful people in this world!!
How true that compassion comes so often from strangers rather than family. This is not a commercial for CVS but a few weeks ago the pharmacist, who certainly knows me by name by now, commented that I looked tired (I had only been without sleep for about 3 days). The next week, I started to call the automated system for refills. I picked up the first bottle and entered the number and then noticed that there were no refills left. Oh well, go on to the next. Again, no refills left. On the 3rd try, I said the hell with it and hung up. A short while later the pharmacist called me and asked if I would like for him to call our doctor and arrange for the refills. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to me. When I went to pick them up he told me that I was looking much better than the last time I saw him. He had a little to do with that.