My husband, John (interred in a nursing home in Florida healling from a back trauma) has FINALLY been able to talk to his lawyer to tell him to terminate the divorce proceedings!!!! All he wants to do is come home. I've been warned I probably can't take care of him, but with any help available to me, I need to show myself that I've tried to the best of my ability. Other than that, I guess he'd go into a local nursing home (assuming it will come to the point where I CAN'T take proper care of him). At least then, he'd be able to have friends and ME visit him every day and not feel forgotten alone and scared like he is now, so far away from home. QUESTION: his attorney says that after his doctor says he's alright, pending coming home to me he has to susbmit to a neurological exam. WHAT'S THAT ALLL ABOUT???? What's that got to do with his coming home, whether it''s to me or a nursing home?? Is the greedy family trying to dabble some more.....meaning making his changes in his will, annuity, etc., irrevocable.....that I will have no say in our financials? Am I being paranoid after a year of struggle? Anyone?
Stuntgirl, why dont you just ask his atty why hes requesting that exam? and who (if not you) will have physical /financial control over your marital income and properties? if you are bringing him into your home and no income available to care for him say to help with inhome help then you need to know all this before transporting him home. you said that his sister is turning over his care to you but what does that entail legally? if i were in your shoes, i would need to find out more answers before initiating any moves. you must find out first if there are any nursing homes near you that would take him if you find its too much for you. just to make sure things are lined up just in case. plus how would you pay for that facility.? they are not cheap even in rural areas. if you intend to have him on medicaide you should start asking an elder atty how to proceed. to be honest with you, i was referring back to 2/08 posts you had written when you first joined here. i was quite alarmed at your personal pain and sufferings. i hope you are now in a better position mentally and physically to take on this challenge of caring for DH that you are proposing. you will find yourself challenged in more ways than you can imagine so you need to be prepared emotionally before you decide to proceed. you have the right to try to care for him as you are suggesting but only if you think you are up to the demands. i hope it all works out for you-divvi
If I am not mistaken, the attorney is his son from his first marriage. Isn't that right, Jen? You will want a neurological exam when he gets back to VA, because that will prove he wasn't able to reassign the annuity and change his will. But, as we have said earlier, you need to be in control..and stay calm. Reeeely stay calm. To update everyone, Jen's husband was a well respected physician during his career and in his day, enjoyed all the finer things in life. We recognize that when he gets back to VA, they will need in home care from day ONE, and his family should understand and appreciate that. Betcha they ALL have in home care. When Jen is tending to her farm responsibilities, she must have someone in the house keeping an eye on him in case he falls. Recall, Jen said that he couldn't get out of bed when she was visiting him recently.
To Jen: have you ever changed an adult diaper. This goes with the territory, and they don't potty just between 9am - 5pm. You know I care very much about YOU and your health,...think this over and before you get him, have a doctor, a law enforcement agency (Sheriff or police) and a nursing home in place and on standby if things go bad. You can't make these arrangements during the "event". That's what went bad the last time when you had to put him in a psche ward. There are other ways to handle this. Just as you prepare your horses for a show, you need to go back to the step by step plan you have made before the "bring husband home" show begins. Preacher Nancy has spoken.....I hope I haven't offended you, dear Jen. I'm your friend and am just trying to help you see the BIG picture.
Thank you Nancy....I'm never offended. Just looking for seasoned advice. I need to have everything in place, help, appointments made, etc., before I bring him home. I'm NOT about to bring him home without some kind of meds on board to keep those "crazy" moments at bay, either.