Hello Friends. I thought I should post this seperately to be sure everyone knows that I have read each and every loving response from my wonderful forum family here. You're all very special.
Thank you all for your kind messages for the kids and I. It is 5 days now, but of course we are still numb. Realizations come in waves. What I think makes it more difficult to "realize/accept" is that we had not seen Paul for a full week, because he was admitted to a Gero-Psych unit for medication adjustment. It was 115 miles away and with school we couldn't go up during the week. We planned to see him Saturday, and head out early......but that final call came just after 4:35 a.m.
Paul wanted cremation, and felt funerals were for the living. He's right. Although I initially wanted just cremation, and have a private family celebration of life our two girls feel a small memorial now will help them with closure. They each wanted to see him privately, and then have a simple memorial after his cremation. To coordinate all of that his daughter will fly in next Thursday. We will have a viewing Friday morning. Cremation will be Friday afternoon, and his ashes will be ready for us to have a memorial service Saturday afternoon.
I am from Santa Barbara, and Paul lived and worked there for over 30 years. It's where all our kids were born (his, mine, and ours), and where we married and had our first home together. Everyone in the family says we know Santa Barbara is where he would want to be. I have ordered memento (tiny) urns for all of his children so they each will have a tiny bit of his ashes no matter where they live. Come summer we plan to caravan with some other family members and "Take him home." His urn is engraved with birds in flight, and the pattern is titled "GOING HOME." ****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Author briegull No matter what, there's almost never time to "say goodbye" but I truly know how hard it is. It sounds like you're coping and going on. I know you'll survive! Our thoughts have been with you all along.
Author Nancy B Dear Diana, I have thought about you all week....I feel as if I know you personally...I hope you have gained some strength from the number of posts your sad announcement generated. You are loved and we're mourning with you. Take a deep breath and when you get to the beach in Santa Barbara,...look toward the sea and breathe in the air. It's fresh and new. Love, N. ************************************************************
Author anitalynn Dear Diana.....Thank you for taking the time to share with us how you and your family are doing. Tears fell when I read your words. You are so in my thoughts and prayers as we are all on the same train going in the same direction and we all know our time will come to depart the train just as you have had to do. As others have said here, you have a whole lot of friends who are mourning with you and know what you have been through. Take care dear friend and I too send my love and condolences.......Anita ************************************************************ Author Mary Diana, I also want to thank you for sharing with us. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers ********************************************************************************************************************************************************
Dear Diana, Thank you for sharing all of this with us. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep in touch so we know how you are doing. Also, I had no idea you and Paul lived in Santa Barbara for so long. DH and I have spent many wonderful, happy weekends there. It's our favorite 'get away' spot. We live right down the street in Ventura! Please take good care! God Bless ~Di
Diana-as I said once before-I look at your wedding picture in your profile and marvel at how wonderful you both look. I hope after the pain eases you can remember that time. Nora
Diana, thank you so much for keeping us posted. Please know that you are in our hearts and that we are there in spirit with you all the way... Take care.
i am so truly sorry for your loss. may goe keep you and your family in his loving enbrance. i know i will be going through this sooner than expected. ihave you in my thoughts and prayers. jav