I ran into an old friend today and we were discussing her problems and my problems and I think hers made mine look pretty pitiful. Sometimes we let our problems with the AD Spouse overwhelm us and think it is the end of our life or our world. My DH has Parkenism/AD and VD and Spinal Stenosis but so far the rest of the family is doing pretty good.
She has had Lymphoma with Chemo and Radiation, Her 50 year only living daughter just found out this week she has the same and is facing the same treatment, she lost a son in infancy, her other 35 year old son was killed a year ago by another truck running a red light.
There are several AD spouses here on this site and a lot of them in the World in worse situations than I have. I am going to try and keep my chin up and savor the good times. Another friend, whose husband is on a second round of cancer told me today, God only gives us one day at a time.
Imohr - please be easy on yourself. We all are affected differently. What might be minimal to one person can be overwhelming to another and vice versus. No ones is necessarily worse than another. My oldest sister has always been so strong - the reigning patriarch of the family now. When her husband died a year ago none of us ever thought she would dive so deep into depression as she did - neither did she. We never know. I shared this once before about a person that had one little, non-invasive incident of sexual abuse when age 5 and was more traumatized than I was with my years. One person can loose a house and all their material possession and be devastated. Yet the same can happen to another person and they go on with little affect. And there are all those people in between the worst and best reactions.
We are all different and react different. We all have different makeups and life experiences, therefore we will all perceive problems differently. Be kind to yourself and do not compare. Your life is yours and yours to feel however you want/need to.
Thank you so much,Charlotte. Imohr, my friends and family have also weathered varieties of difficulties but so have and so are we. I am in awe of those who are still 'standing' after what seems to me like the ultimate crushing blows, while I twirl with anxiety at times, over things that might be, to some, so insignificant in comparison. Perspective, is good for helping us recognize blessings where we can find them. Out of the whirlwind of what I call OZ, its easier to have perspective but Lordy Mercy, when things are completely bonkers this is the ONLY place where anyone understands and can give us a little shake and get our feet back on solid ground.