He is mad at me for thinking he is "loosing it" as he puts it, but has agreed to see someone to prove to me he is OK. At the same time, tonight he could not remember that he walked our six year old daughter (we had her when I was 40 and he was 44) to the bus stop everyday last fall (until it got too cold and too dark that early in the am) and where the bus stop was. When he sat there trying to remember we caught each other's eyes for a minute and I saw it...he was scared, sad, and concerned that he could not remember that! Ouch! My daughter just looked at him and asked, "...don't you remember, Daddy?" He didn't, yet he is convinced he is going to do what the doc says to prove me wrong. I sure hope he is right! Thanks for being here and for helping out and helping me know how to handle his denial or not knowing there is something wrong, doubting myself vs trusting my instinct, etc. We're going to a GP at a community clinic because DH can't keep a job and we have no insurance (although I am going to get COBRA thanks to all your advice) so this is probably the beginning of a long road. We'll see what happens. Someone in these boards told me not to go to a GP but they'll put us on a sliding scale at the hospital and drastically reduce our 30% copay for COBRA. Got to make the money last until we can sell our house! Thanks for all your help!
I saw that look in my DH's eyes. I understand how you feel. At least my DH was willing to go to the doc. Some GP's know how to deal with dementia, others do not, but they can refer you to someone who will know. We will be here--don't doubt yourself. Take care of yourself.
Just to make sure you are not brushed off, please make a list of every symptom and incident that you can think of as far back as you can remember. Put them in chronological order, so decline can be noted. My suggestion would be to talk on the phone to the doctor before you go, and ask at least for the mini-mental exam. Especially because of your DH's age. Most doctors not familiar with AD, and particulary EOAD (early onset) will dismiss the symptoms as depression or YOUR over reaction. I hope I am not offending any doctors here, but I am just going from my own experience, and the experience of so many of our members whose spouses are young. Unfortunately, it is up to you to be persistent.
Marise, I am happy he has agreed to at least be seen, I pray it's not AD or any other dementia and that it's something fixable. If not you are at least on the path to dealing with the journey that will be ahead of you. Knowing will help you get your ducks in a row as far as getting him on disability and help. Good Luck! Rk
I'm going to second the whole logging thing. Write a list of what he can and can't do. Write lists of functions he has lost and things he no longer can remember.
Tell the doctor about the school bus incident and that he doesn't know where it is anymore. If he is still driving, he almost certainly won't be driving once you go home, so be prepared to drive him home.
Does he know his address and phone number? If you moved in the last few years he probably doesn't. Does he know what the day, date, month, year and season are? Does he expect it to rain when it is too cold or snow when it is too warm where you live?
It is good that he will be going to the doctor. Don't be too surprised if he "fails" the mini-mental, and make sure you don't answer for him or give him clues once the mini-mental questions start.
Good advice, Starling. I do that frequently. Most of the time, they have no idea who is in the exam room or why until they walk in. Then, you are stuck with not wanting to say certain things in front of your DH.
Marise--When I made the list I did it from the point of view of things he used to do but now I had taken over. For me, that made it easier to come up with everything. Unfortunately, I didn't do the list until after we had received one misdiagnosis (depression). But at that point it was so early in the process, the main thing I complained about was memory loss. As a little time went by and he stopped working, I saw that other areas besides memory--logic, planning and organizing, lack of initiative, etc. were involved as well.