Your Friday blog was saying exactly what I know all of us either feel or have felt since the diagnosis of AD. Didn't I read somewhere that you were an English teacher? It certainly shows in the manner in which you express yourself. I can read your writings and say to myself "Yes! That's exactly how I'm feeling".
It's a terrible thing to say, but i feel as though I am in prison, with an indeterminent sentence, and no reprieve.
I fortunately had a break for a few days, as "J"s son came to visit for three days. Took him to play golf every day where he went willingly. If it had been only me suggesting a day out, there would have been the standard excuse that it was too cold,. . . too late,. . . too something. His son listened patiently, answered repeatedly the same questions, and talked with him as tho everything was just fine. It was heaven for me. Wish I could clone him, and keep him here.
After talking with the DR recently, I had given myself permission to bring in some additional help and have the opportunity to do some of my own "things". I am going to stick to that plan because, even for a short time, it is rejuvenating and helps me to be more patient (at least for awhile). This last three days has just reinforced that belief.
Joan, I have been involved and participated in many online forums since my sweetheart's diagnosis and descent into Alzheimer's. I have, at last,through your forum found other spouses who I can bond with. NO one including children of the spouse can understand and have empathy for us as we are actually experiencing this horror. We have lost our other self'; you through your blogs and website have given us a voice to share and comfort one another and I thank you for your insights and editorials. I feel you are a friend and am consoled that at least one good result has come from this journey,i.e. having met many wonderful people with whom I feel a kinship. I applaud your vision.
Thank you all. My husband is very high function in the beginning stages of dementia. Someone described it to me - I think on this blog - that it is like he is Mary Poppins in the public and Linda Blair at home. The people that do see what he does - including family - pass it off as "that"s what men do". I can't tell you how many times we have been advised to go to marriage counseling - which we have done - only to be told we can't get help there because of his memory issues. I knew it before we went, but I thought I would try it just to be sure. So, for me, this website helps keep me sane. When I read what goes on in your lives, it validates my reality that sometimes I am the only one that sees it. And also the education. We are looking into the driving issue here in Florida and it is a little disheartening. I have a friend who was asking for her doctor to help her explain to her husband that he couldn't drive. The doctor did just that and without their knowledge contacted the DVM and had his license pulled and she got a notice from their insurance company saying that their insurance was cancelled. She had a very hard time getting more. She said it was a nightmare. So thank you. You don't know how much help this gives me. God bless all of you and angel's wings to Joan.
THANK YOU to all of you. Your validation and appreciation of my writing is uplifting and inspiring to me.
I agree completely that no one but a spouse could ever understand the emotions we experience. Until I started this website, I thought I was the only one whose marital "connection" was being eroded by AD. I felt guilty, ashamed, and alone. I thought there must be something wrong with me, and I must just be a horrible person to feel the way I did. I thought - I cannot possibly be the only one - you have shown me that I am NOT the only one. (nor a horrible person).
Mary Poppins and Linda Blair - I love it! Perfect description.