Got a voice mail over the computer, asked husband who had called. "Bill collectors." I listened to the message, and now it seems that the credit card bill that he has refused to make payment on (HE knows HE can outsmart the system based on something he found on the internet) has been turned over to a collection agency. Nice way to wake up each day @ 8 a.m.
So I told him, you know, if you don't make payments, they can put a lien on the house & then you won't be able to sell it. "What? That's not true." Yes, I said, I read it in Sunday's paper.
OMG WWIII. Well, why don't YOU pay the property taxes? Well, because you CHOSE not to work in 9 of the 11 years we have been together. You spun down your inheritance, and sat on your ass while I was working 50+ hours a week.
Then he told me, well, if you don't pay the property taxes, we'll be out on the street. I told him we could move into my house. Nopey Dopey. Not going to do that. Told me I can go there alone. Just get out if you don't want to help.
Honestly, Ive been so non-confrontational, but I said, you brought this on yourself because you are lazy. I've never said that to him. I was working all those hours to pay down my rental property as my contribution to "our" retirement, he did as he chose. He played the stock market, sat in that damned chair all day, I did all the housework. Yes, I'm getting worked up.
Sad part is, in this economy, I figure I have a roof over my head. I really love my new job, but you never know.
Last time I checked he owed $27,000 in credit card debt. The interest was 20 something %. Then late charges. I called yesterday, and I was no longer able to get an automated balance, they said to hold for an associate.
I feel like I am in charge of everything. Trying to get Aflac for cancer "insurance" which I am 100% sure he will get again. It will only cost me a little over $500+ a year. I am crumbling........
Oh Kitty, how sad for you. You deserve to feel this angst toward your husband. I'm a devout Christian, but I have always had improper thoughts when I hear/read Genesis where God said,... "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him", since in my first marriage all I was good for was to "help meet" the bills he ran up on junk for his hobbies
You have worked all this time and he didn't?? Was he sick during this time, looking back? Did something happen that took away his desire to 'get out of the work force? My husband was the opposite. He was a workaholic, he loved his work, and when he retired the second time..I think that was the trigger that began to break down his interest in life and then he got sick, for the first time in his life..and it's been downhill since then.
We are in charge of everything. It's not fair, is it?
NO, NO don't crumble, Kitty! I know the feeling, OVERWHELMED...take a breath, and another, and another. That's it. Now.....Yes, you are in charge of everything. I am the one here that's in charge of everything, too. We all are. The way around this, I have found, is that you do it a day at a time. How far along is your DH?
My goodness, it sounds very inexpensive to get cancer insurance for that price per year. You must be a genious. I have BC/BS on myself and it costs me $750 bi-monthly as I have had breast cancer.
Oh Kitty...you get a job you love and then things go haywire at home. You have every reason to get angry but don't crumble. We're here and I'm sure someone will come along to give you good advice about what to do.
Kitty-can you file for bankrupcy. if you are in trouble with the IRS look into "innocent spouse" and "injured spouse". Someone very close to me did that and came out whole.
Once we were married, he said he would never work another day in his life. Then he got cancer. I nursed him through that. Then he was a "stock trader" using his substantial inheritance (the dollar figure I didn't know until after we were married, i.e. I didn't marry him for money.) I felt that if he had all that money, he could do as he chose. He told me after marriage, "all you'll ever need is a little change in your pocket." Now, the house WAS entirely paid for (his) and this man can't even earn enough to pay the property taxes???? That is his excuse for putting the house (which I considered my home & invested a lot of my money for improvements) on the market, he can't afford the property taxes, they are less in the county, & we live in the city. Maybe at most $1,000 a year savings.
So.....even before the brain damage due to whole brain radiation, he had an attitude of entitlement. He subsequently blew his entire inheritance playing the stock market. Now THAT may have been due to the dementia.
Thanks for your responses. Yes, I will take a breath & then another. All I know is I have a job against all odds, & I am happy there. What a blessing. I get to go in to work & talk to normal people & am away from this nightmare.
I can't tell you how far along he is. It is not AD. Most people with this type of cancer are usually dead w/in 3 - 6 weeks. It was a fluke that it was discovered. So there is not much documentation on the course of the dementia, but it is well established. Whole brain radiation = dementia. There are no stages as such. I am just reading posts & comparing, I am a lost soul trying to figure this out.
I am not a genious, although I am sort of proud of my IQ of 160+. I was a gifted child & went to special classes. It turns out that the rates for Aflac group plans are really affordable. I plan also to look into their life insurance plans. He is terminal, cancer or dementia. He has no life insurance.
Kitty, what is your job? Do you have access to the Aflac group through your work? Surprising that they would insure your dh considering his dx unless they have insured him before.
He can file for bankruptcy!!!!! I have a credit score of 780 which I have worked hard to maintain. It could be higher now. I am not in trouble with the IRS, in fact, I will be getting a $700+ refund this year. I started filing married filing separately 2 years ago, when I realized something was very amiss. I was not going to take the heat for his misjudgement. And good thing, they said he had screwed up last year, and I was left out of it. He said he was going to have someone do his taxes this year, maybe an admission of not knowing what to do?
I just feel overwhelmed with all this financial junk. I don't think I should take responsibility for him, as I said to him tonight, I am NOT going to bail you out. You had choices, and I worked, you didn't. I guess normal married people are a team in times of hardship, but I have little sympathy since he chose not to work from day 1 & I have been working my butt off. Not to mention, after I quit my job, he then announced he was putting the house on the market & I had to move after he screwed the sale up & I became so depressed I was motionlesss. That in itself cost me money. Again, I am grateful to have a job in this economy, and one I like & look forward to going into work for.
MMarshall, I talked to the Aflac guy. If he has been cancer free for 5 years, he qualifies. He was 5 years cancer free 2006. I don't know if they will accept him for sure based on his type of cancer, but I am going to try. The guy didn't say anything about types of cancer, but if they see this, they will know that his prognosis is very poor.
Sorry, I am an "Interior designer" working at a furniture showroom. Yes, I have access to Aflac through work. The amazing thing is that once I get it, I will always pay the "group" rate, and the rates never go up.
Super! You are lucky in that. I feel sorry that you are having such a bad time with your dh. Please hang in there and don't fold. We don't want you depressed or anything! Might have to take a tranqulizer ;-) Funny, we all get depressed here, and most of us take something to ease the pain. That's why we understand and are your greatest cheerleaders...M
Kitty, I was also an interior designer. (in my past life). I used to think I was under a lot of stress, when working with clients, builders who finished their Parade showcase homes at the last minute... oh how little I knew back then.
I'd definitely look into your husband filing bankruptcy. If he files on accounts in his own name based on his own history, I don't believe it would reflect on YOUR credit rating, but I'm not sure about this. Betcha you could find the answer in one telephone call, though. So good you can pull away for a few hours a day. Stay focused on YOU... It's his mess...and the more you keep an arms length, the better.
Ya' know, it came to me today with startling clarity. We really are in charge of everything. I'm so worn out from everything that's gone on this last year and Kitty, I know you are too. I'm so happy you have a job that you enjoy. I pray that you will find the proper help to straighten out the financial problems. I'm so sorry it has come to this.
Thank you all for your support & tips. It means a lot. I'm not depressed, I'm pissed. I am taking Lexapro for depression & anxiety, without it, I'd be a basket case. I did a search online & it is possible for one spouse to file for bankruptcy without involving the other spouse. Since he maxed out his only credit card & couldn't make the minimum payments, he just stopped paying them. I have to use my credit card to pay for the stuff in storage, since he doesn't have one now.
Kitty, I am sorry you have to go through all this. I can't imagine how you stand it. I would be having hissy fits all over the place! Hang in there and know we are with and for you.
And he can't understand why I've lost interest in sex! P L E A S E. That's his main complaint. I sleep on the sofa & that just really upsets him. In the past year I have allowed pity sex, but I somehow just can't bring myself to that anymore. I plan on it, then I just can't. What's he going to do, throw me out? He needs me to sign a lease for an apartment if the house sells, since his credit is shot. His plan is to get an apt. & look for a house to buy.
My son just emailed me & asked if my husband was coming to his wedding Sept. 19th. I asked him & he said yes. I would really rather go alone.
I had a dream last night. I found a found a house, my cat was with me, and I loved it! My plan was to move into it alone w/ my cat, but the owners wouldn't tell me how much it cost. I wanted to buy it.
As strange as it may seem, I keep a dream journal. I had sketched out this house I now live in a year before I moved into it, from a dream. Every room was in the right place. I identified each room in the sketch. I made a sketch of this house from my dream last night. Who knows?
At this point, what I have is a roof over my head, that's it. But I think this is going to cost me way more down the road.
Oh my, Verizon just called, well rather a debt collector. Seems he hasn't paid Verizon either, and we haven't had them for over a year. It was only $357, but hey. He told them that he didn't want to talk about it, and the guy said "what?" Years ago, I would never have listened in on a conversation, but now I have a need to know. I need to know when a realtor is showing the house (he forgets to tell me) & then I wonder what will be next. This is very disheartening. I have never had creditors call in my entire life.
Gee Kitty, thats going to test your sanity trying to take care of his end of the financials and yours on the side. what a mess. i hope you check into the bankruptcy for him if it doesnt damage your credit or good standing. can you put a ' hold' on his credit reports to ensure he cant get more credit lines? you can do it by phone at equifax and they notify all 3 bureaus for you and it says they have to check with you if credit is being applied for. it could give you some notice if hes out there trying to make more mess of things. i would get that house you have leased ready to move in when the lease is up. have a safety net for yourself as if property tx goes unpaid they can begin steps to seize it due to unpaid taxes and it doesnt take that long for them to do it with this economy. and try to do the wedding alone. he may ruin it for you and thats something you need to enjoy for you and son. hope you get it sorted out how to proceed in your best interest! divvi
Thanks divvi. Funny you should mention that. I don't open his mail, only once have I viewed already opened mail. That was his credit card statement. Something came in the mail that looked like a statement & I opened it. He had been pre-approved for a credit card! I put that in the shredder as fast as I could. I can't imagine anyone extending him credit. I've gotten over feeling guilty about opening that. I need to stay on top of things.
Do I need POA to put the hold on his credit reports? I don't have it.
My son has booked the flight for both of us, but that is way off until Sept. A lot can happen between now & then. I really do just want to go alone. My son doesn't understand the magnitude of all this. I haven't told him about the credit card thing, I don't want him to worry about me.
Kitty, I'd try to go to the wedding alone. Try to convince him that you'll be reeeeely busy and won't have much time to sit with him and he'd probably be happier staying home. My husband would always prefer staying home...he doesn't enjoy being with a lot of people. That's usually all I have to say. (Honey, there WILL be a lot of noisy people there!!! and he'll start backing up!!) :-)
kitty;,to do it no POA or anthing but soc sec number and your home phone.. no just call the equifax number google it..and then you need his soc sec number..its all by phone! and you just key it in. i think doing yours as well wouldnt hurt. it doesnt hurt scores just makes it difficult to get credit if they dont talk directly to you. you could say later you did it for both of you to be safe! nowdays its good anyways. when you call it will say option to put fraud alert on you acct that is what you want-- to tag your credit..i would do it at all cost. it may save you headaches in the future. yes my DH gets credit offers all the tiime too. they go by you having a paid home i think and that they can get off the internet! and public records. scary..
Kitty - you need to be careful of state laws. Many states if one spouse files bankruptcy they go after the other one. I have a friend that filed bankruptcy after a business failure and was told his wife was safe - didn't need to include her. Two years later they went after her and they did not live in a community property state at the time. Unfortunately, the did move to one and I am not sure if that is why. We have always been told and heard that it is wiser to file for both partners in a marriage to be safe.
I suggested to my husband tonight that he might want to consider bankruptcy before someone puts a lien on the house. He said I didn't understand. "you have a mortgage on your house, right?' (screaming) "Well that is a lien." "You don't know what you are talking about, and until you learn, I am not going to converse about this anymore." I just shook my head & walked away. I had tried to tell him a lien from a creditor was different, but he said you could settle a lien at closing.
Does anyone know the ins & outs of this? I am only going by what I read in the paper on Sunday. They said if you have a lien against your house, you can't sell it. He says a mortgage is the same thing as a lien. I don't think so, but I don't know.
I told him about the Aflac cancer policy, and at 1st he said there would be a better way to spend my money. But then I explained to him that if he were to get ill again, and couldn't work, it would pay for expenses. It is not for medical bills. Well, he's not paying for it, he apparently has no concept of future, so what difference does it make. I guess he's thinking short term, I could use that money to help him pay the property taxes.
Kitty, I only know that property taxes HAVE to be paid or else they will auction off your property and they do it pretty fast so I personally think that would have top priority to be done first. But, I am not a lawyer. My dad used to buy property where the taxes hadn't been paid and the owners had a year (I think) to redeem them before he got a clear deed. This was vacant land but I would imagine a home would be the same.
He claims he is "saving up" for the property taxes & knows that comes 1st. It just disgusts me that a man living in a paid for house can't earn enough to pay $2,800 in property taxes. I have lost all respect. I guess that's what it boils down to. He put himself in this position & wants me to bail him out.
Kitty, if you have either a mortgage or a lien or unpaid taxes, you can still sell your house, but all of those "liens" have to be paid off before or at closing. These are called a "cloud" on your title and they have to be paid and/or released of record in order for you to give clear title to your real estate at closing.
What a nightmare for you. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with having to handle all the finances, etc., and then I hear about folks like you who have so much more to deal with.
My friend's husband passed away and after he died, she found out that he had maxed out several credit cards, took out a 2nd and 3rd mortgage on the house. There was nothing in the savings accouont. She was broke and in debt. She just about went crazy. She said she couldn't tell if she was crying because she was grieving or because she was so furious that he had done this to her. She never knew anything that was going on.
I think it would be a good idea to contact Expedia or someone like that and go from there. You will need his SS to get the infor. You can do that online until you need to talk to a live person.
Thanks Vickie & Mawzy. I will have to wait until my next day off to research all this. I have just survived a screaming session, been followed out onto the deck, followed into the living room, being screamed at. "you are so stupid, you don't understand anything, etc." I said at least I am smart enough to have a conversation that doesn't include screaming. He was livid. I want to run away. I will be glad to get back to work tomorrow, but I must say this has brought me down. I hope I can fake it at work tomorrow. He is affecting my mental well being. I am a big believer in that we choose our emotions, but when you have been battered verbally, it wears you down. It is stress. I just want to feel good. I am going to stay off this topic here on out, and let things fall where they may.
Vickie, I think you are saying that if he owes the credit card company & they place a lien on the property, then that can be settled at closing. Am I reading you right? This is what he has been screaming about all evening, that I don't know anything. I simply mentioned that the real estate writer said that you can't sell a property when there is a lien on it. I am not a real estate expert, I was just repeating what I read.
I think Mawzy meant Experian which is a credit report company. Expedia is a travel website. :) Kitty, I am so sorry, I am having to deal with all of our financial stuff too and am overwhelmed. We are not in as dire straits as you (yet), but I quit my job to start my own company a couple of years ago and still don't make enough to make up for the $100,000 my husband was bringing in. And he doesn't seem to "get" that his monthly SSI disability payment isn't going to cut it. I think I am going to have to go get a job working in the evenings so I can keep my business - it is my baby and I don't want to give it up if I have to get a 9-5 job. But I am SO tired! Not sure I can keep on, keeping on if I have to do that. I have always been an independent woman who could take care of herself (didn't get married until I was 35 - now I wonder WHY I wanted to ever get married in the first place???) but this disease and all the responsibility that goes with it is kicking my butt.
Kitty, i dont think a credit company can lein on your home. like bankruptcy and lawsuits usually your home is sound proof. you can file bankrupcty i think and still get to keep your homestead in tact- i think if they sue your husband and get a JUDGEMENT against him for unpaid debt then the courts would probably look into what assets could be sold ot pay the debt off. it most definately will be on his credit report for min 7yrs as bad debt and a bankruptcy for 10yrs. i dont know how it works in a state thats non community property state. you should call an atty for bankruptcy and ask what would be best. on another note i cant understand why you dont think of making a clean break of this marriage arrangement while you still can. its on ly going to get worse when he really starts declining and you are unable to convince him to see a dr for medications. he is already losing his temper alot with you -i think we here will worry for your safety soon. if i hadnt had the love connection holding my marriage together and able to carry that forward i doubt i could have carried the burden of caregiving. its bad enough when you do love and respect your partner, but it seems you have lost all that on top of now dealing with financial disaster and nothing to fall back on for youself. i still would like to see you make a go on your own and live apart. you could always be there for him if you stilll wanted but without all the misery and headaches that are coming your way. you are a better person than me, i dont think i would do it without anything that 'binds'.. only putting it all out there dear kitty cause we care, Divvi pps and yes if there is a lein it will be discovered by the title co before closing. then you will have to settle that before you can close.
Well, I feel foolish I guess you all know I've been making travel plans. Expedia is an on-line travel company
If you search out Experian for your DH, you'll need his SS# to get his information. That's what I was trying to say. They will give you the credit score and in some cases if you dig far enough, they will give you a rough estimate of how much is owed and to whom. To get a full report will cost you but I'm not sure how much. You might want that information to satisfy curiosity. I know I would.
And Divvi is correct. Even if you get a buyer for the house, the lien will have to be paid BEFORE the sale will close.
I wouldn't engage in any kind of an argument with him. He sounds like he could get dangerous at about any minute. Can he take care of himself? If so, maybe it would be a good idea for him to do so and you take a break. Do you have a good friend dor a relative in town where you could go until you get yourself straightened out and get things figured out.
I am trying to absorb all that you all have said. I am going to review each comment carefully one by one. I had an eye dr. appt. which I cancelled & came home early anyhow. I was bummed out. I consider last night verbal abuse. As I was driving home, I was thinking to myself, can I afford to live in my house? The lease is up in August. At work I was shown a print out today that showed that the whole company was down 80% from last year this time, our showroom down 79% from last time this year. My friend who worked as a designer in a 100+ year old family furniture chain lost her job this year, it went bankrupt. This is family owned. I really want to move into my own house ALONE. I have to wait & see how it goes for the next several months. I dreaded coming home.
He came into my office this morning (like nothing had happened) & wanted to talk about the Aflac cancer policy. I didn't speak to him. I was getting ready for work. I don't want to talk to him. If I don't speak to him, nothing can happen. Remember this started over my mentioning something I read in the newspaper about houses with liens (not that he's there yet) can't be sold. He threw a pillow down the stairs last night. I had taken the pillow cases off to sanitize them with something I ordered on line to get the odor out. Guess he thought I did something inconsiderate. He was following me around screaming, and yes, his temper is way out of control.
I have friends I could stay with if it were not for my cat. Some have said, come on, but no cat. Others have multiple animals & Katrina is afraid of everything. I am not giving up my cat. I know that sounds silly, but she is all I have. Plus, I don't want to live with others. I am hoping this job stays good, and I am brave enough to leave in August to move into my own house. I have to give the tenants 60 days notice, and at this point, I may just do it against my better (survival) judgement, and hope for the best.
It is difficult for me to fathom how this calm, even tempered man (which was his MAIN attraction) has turned into this hot tempered man. I can't keep this up. I want peace. He was evil personified last night.
I've been looking around the house. Yes, I bought this, I bought that, thinking what I could take. In fact, I have bought most of our home furnishings. He has signed a contract that I will receive $12,000 upon the sale of the house. Is it really worth $12,000 to wait? I thought that would get me off to a new start, but hey. I have put so much of my own money into improvements on HIS house, I should have put it into mine. But who could have predicted the future?
Again, I will read your comments thoroughly & then check things out. I thank you all for your support and comments. I never thought it would come to this. I just want to be anywhere but here. :-(
I've been a licensed real estate broker since 1970. I've had quite a few real estate closings on land sales, commercial properties as well as homes, that had liens on them. What happens is that the lien is paid off by the attorney or title officer handling the sale, along with pro-rated taxes and then the balance of the proceeds is funded to the Seller. I cannot understand why a property with a lien or judgement on it could not be sold.
August is a long way off, - and maybe you need to put all of this on the back burner until you have a better grasp on your job future. Don't listen to rumors - just keep your focus and take it a step at a time. I'm sorry about last night, too. Words hurt worst than physical abuse. Practice taking deep breaths, and counting to 5,743..or whatever it takes.
Thanks, Nancy B. I hope you are right. But that is a comfort if true. Yes, the words do so hurt. Who would have thought that my husband would start calling me stupid?
As I came home, I overheard him on the phone talking with someone that "he had started a new business, doing background checks for businesses and landlords." What????
Kitty, I am sure you have checked on this and I know your DH doesn't have the "normal" dementia but isn't there SOMETHING his doctor can give him to calm him down? With all the different meds for different ailments it seems like there should be something. I hope you can and will do what is the best for you and you can find some peace. God Bless.
Kitty, if he signed a contract it is binding for the 12k sale money whether you stay or not. if you find the house has a buyer then you find who the title company is and go present your contract for the 12k to them and should have to cut your money to you upon closing. thats what i would do anyway. and dont be thinking he is going to give you the 12k without a fight. in his frame of mind i dont see that being a mutual agreement -if your company is family owned and down that much then yes in this economy everyones job is at risk. it may be good to just sit put and sock away everything you can til august and have a plan in advance when that time comes round. the anger seems to be escalating with each new fight, so i hope you remember to have a safe place in your home just to be sure if that should happen. i have learned you just cant think they are going to act rationally like a normal one would-it can turn on/off at a moments notice which we all here are finding out at one point or another. if you think you are able to ignore and abide by the 'safe rules' til august then you should be ok as long as he doesnt escalate. i sure hope it works out for you but you are going to have to make some tuff decisions pretty soon about your future with or without him. my best as always, Divvi
Jean, I have tried to get him to go to a dr. for a chest x-ray, for 7 years, which a "normal" person would do if they had experienced lung cancer. His response is, he's been x-rayed enough. He hasn't gone for a check up since his cancer. I go every year for an annual physical. I have slipped him an anti-anxiety med once in the past, hoping he would go to sleep. Forget about getting him to a dr. Thank you for your well wishes.
divvi, I am going to reread your comment on Sat. my day off. I have sent a copy of the agreement to my son. You are so right, the anger is escalating w/ each episode. I went for months not needing to post. I am still not speaking to him. He made spagetti tonight, & I nuked a lean cuisine. He was pissed. What? my food's not good enough for you? Etc. No comment. This is not living. It is living Hell.
I am taking prior advice. On Sat. when I am off & can think straight, I am packing an emergency bag. There are plenty of friends who will take me in for a temporary stay. He doesn't pay attention to the cat's food bowl, the litter pan, etc. When I came back from NYC in Dec. the water bowl was practically empty. I change it each day. My whole life changed when I adopted this cat. I needed touch. He was never affectionate, and as time went on, I just craved touch. She snuggles with me which I need. What I really need is a new man, but they all have their problems. Maybe being alone isn't such a bad thing.
Kitty, I know you adore katrina. But I think you should be looking around - maybe someone at work, neighbor, whatever, who would be willing to house her temporarily if you have to flee. Does she have a carrier?
Yes, she has a carrier. Needs that for her trips to the vet for her "manicures." I can't think of a single soul I know who would take her in, even temporarily. I asked my friend in Northern VA, & she said yes, but she has a cat, & cats are not groupies. Katrina has hissed at every cat she has seen from the window except her big love, a male, Woodo. Where I go, she goes. Even if we have to live in a weekly hotel.
Oh, sure, the vet for a few days of boarding, no problem. Thanks briegull for your concern. I wish this would all just go away. Had I known my real situation, I would never have adopted a cat.
Kitty, every now and then..I have to remind myself of this about our little dog. He IS a dog. You are a PEOPLE. Your cat is a CAT. If your cat were to go stay with the friend who has a cat, trust me! neither would die. Your cat might stay behind the sofa most of the time, but it wouldn't starve, wouldn't die of thirst. You have to develop a little objectivity here, my dear, and if the situation presented itself and you were in need of a refuge, let your dear cat be a CAT. I used to worry about putting my dog in a doggy spa when we took 2 week vacations, because he'd be kept in a small cage and he'd hate it. HE was absolutely FINE. He didn't lose a pound and was a happy camper. You cannot risk your health because you read your cat's personality profile where it checked "I prefer to not be around other cats". If you died of a stress heart attack, what would happen to your cat?? Let's stop looking for excuses... breathe, count and put one foot in front of the other.
Kitty, do you have any close neighbors? Do they know the situation you are in? Just thinking that, in case of a real emergency, you could run to someone sympathetic that understands the situation. Other than that, you may start thinking of contacting your local police to notify them of the problems you are having and are just a bit afraid that it might escalate. This way, if you had to call 911 the stage would be set and he couldn't claim just a domestic argument...I hope it doesn't come to that, but given his mental state....M
I remember kitty when a way back when you first joined you had made a point in a past post that your husband was not a violent person or threatening to you in the least. remember?? things have changed alot girlfriend. and not in your best interest. do you have some IRA or savings acct that you could access in a bind if needed? if you paid for most of the furnishings then you should be able to take those to your own house if need be. make an inventory of what you paid for so you can see wha tyou have vs. what you would need to move into your own home later if you decide to do that in aug. you work for a furnishings place, you should be able to get a super discount at least:) i wouldnt put a single dime into his home at this point. if the taxes remain unpaid you SHOULD be getting a notice of such delinquent taxes due before they actually do try to make a seizure. they do give you threat letters to try to getyou to pay so better see if any have been sent. you can access the property tax websites online and check to see how much is actually due and penalties! get an old tax statement and your propTax ID is on it. i bet you can find out alot online about whats going on with that. your 12k depends on that house being sold not seizure..sometimes they will even work out a repay plan to pay it off if you call them up. if he just ignores the tax it has HUGE penality and interest tacked on DAILY til paid. it can add up to alot so beware. if he owes a huge tx bill at closing at some point he may not even have enough left to pay your 12k so its in your best interest to get something done on that if you can. my DH had a condo he missed yrs of paying dues on common areas and when i sold it not too long ago it had a lein for that amount. well it ran it up so much i had to PAY out of pocket to get it sold! there are wkly rentals like hawthorn suites or marriot that rent studios by the week and are very nice. we stayed there with our dogs while our mold problem was renovated yrs ago. quite pleasant and they take pets. check some out where you are to have an idea where you could land if needed in an emergency. good you are taking advice early before needed. so sorry to see if come to this...we never like to see things turn badly for any of us. hugs. divvi
In WV, I accidently missed paying a small property tax from my Fathers estate. It was just small vacant land and the taxes were under $10.00. Property taxes were due in the spring and a couple months later my name was in the paper under "Delinquent Taxes" . Soon as I seen it, I hurriedly paid it but it was too late to get my name out of the paper 2 more times. If I hadn't paid the taxes the property would have been up for sale for the taxes in short order. But, If you have a mortgage that is probally worked into the mortgage payment.
Most counties have a web site (County Tax Collector/Assessor or ***County Central Appraisal District, and anyone can access tax records on a property by (1) Property Tax Number (2) Address of Property or (3) Owner's Name. Realtors use that tool daily to obtain Listing Information on property they advertise for sale. One usually has to be over one year (or two) for property to be seized for non payment of taxes. "Man-up" and call the tax office. You can also do that. Then you will know for SURE!.. You can also give them a P.O. Box to mail tax info to. Just like Joan set one up at a mail center - where one ships packages. They have very inexpensive post office boxes - as does the Post Office itself. That might be a smart thing to do anyway for your personal mail. You'd be sure to get everything addresed to you.