Thank you all for your wonderful words of support. It is so comforting to read all of your notes. My husband spent 12 days in January in a psych unit getting his meds adjusted because he was having behavioral problems. It was the worse experience of my life. He was not showered or shaven for 11 days!! If the patients have no family to visit, they are placed in hospital gowns with diapers and strapped into wheelchairs with alarms. My husband walked every day for hours with a companion before he entered this facility. He needs total assistance feeding, toileting, and dressing. He still knew when he had to go to the bathroom-just needed assistance. Upon his discharge, he is not walking well, has had a visual loss, lost a tremendous amount of weight (because he had his food tray left in front of him without assistance!!). No matter how much I advocated for him, my words fell on deaf ears. I have filed complaints with the care center and am going to send my letter to our State Attorny General and directly to the doctor. My husband is no longer continent. All of this bad experience makes me very leary of nursing homes but mostly, It broke my heart to see him being treated so badly. This was a vetern who spent 28 years as a fireman. He helped everyone and the lack of dignity and respect paid to him was unbearable. Everyone loved Gene. I always promised him I would get him the best care I could and this certainly was not it. I want my husband back so he could have yelled at them all!!!!! I don't always want to be the "strong" one. There are many days I'm not. I look at him and know that he realizes what is happening to him. He cries. This was not like him. We cry together and all I can say is"every thing will be ok" even though I know right now it seems like NOTHING IS OK!!!!! Help. I need someone to cry on.
Kathryn, I feel your pain and distress. I hold my hand out to you for support and welcome you here.
My DH said to me yesterday, "I don't know how to get out of here". I said, "What do you mean? Out of here, our home?" He said, after a long pause, thinking very hard, "Out of me!" and he points to his chest. Awww Gee...I cried, he cried...What do you say? Everything will be OK......I hear you...M
Kathryn, I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband was on they psych unit twice for "medication adjustment". Both times he came out much worse than when he went in. Never again.
Kathryn, it breaks my heart to hear your story! I am so sorry you and your Dh had to go thru this. The disease is hard enough, then to have that happen just (sorry no other word comes to mind) SUCKS! I hope your letters don't fall on deaf ears or closed eye's. I hope they see the turmoil they helped to further. But don't blame yourself, it was out of your control. You Dh know's your his advocate and I am sure he finds comfort in your words. Hang in there, cry all you want and all you need to. T and P's. Rk