DW used to have an occasional conversation with the person in the mirror - I thought no harm, why do anything about it. Now it's become a full-time occupation. She will now stand in front of the mirror for hours - almost to the point of collapse. Her legs are so weak at the end of these sessions that she finds it difficult to walk. Good luck trying to get her away from the mirror - she will curse and physically lash out at me if I try. Her level of mental functioning has dropped significantly during the past two weeks (she was a solid stage 6 before these mirror-talking marathons began). So my question is this: Have any of you experienced this with your LO's and did you note a significant drop-off in mental functioning before OR after these sessions began? Does taking down the mirrors help and, if so, how much? (Am I asking the right questions?) Thanks for your help.
iggy, my DH just loves the mirrors too. he has vivid conversations with the guy in the mirror. he has no clue its him and has a name for the guy as well. its very bizarre to watch. ours is a long hallway mirror and so far hasnt been an issue as its a happy time for him to 'visit'..he smiles and talks to him every time he passes and thats alot during the day. could you give DW a hand mirror and have her sit or lay down and look in it?? there are also long portable type mirrors you could get to set up in front of her if you want her to not stand. if she isnt angry or hostile i see no harm really. if she is then you may want to consider putting someting like a colored stickon type film so she cant see herself? or hang a sheet or towel..if its stimulating her enough to aggitate then i would cover them if not..it may be a small enjoyment she has found and does no real harm. i havent seen any decline since our mirror visits per se. i know perceptions can be altered with vision issues so not sure if that could be affecting her visuals in the mirror. if you can get her to at least sit in a comfy chair while she looks maybe it will help. you may want to run it by her dr and get his input-hallucinations are rampant at times. good luck, divvi
Oh noooooo,,,,,,I've found myself talking to myself in the mirror, the car, the grocery store, in bed, not good, maybe it's because no one but you guys want to listen to me????
heard a rukus a while ago, DH is doing his 'roundabouts' around the atrium and i heard him in the mirror. he was fussing at the 'guy in the mirror'. says the guy wanted to steal HIS candy bar and he wasnt going to allow that. wanted me to give the 'guy' another one so he'd leave his alone.. :) awwww... i got another one and took it to the mirror and DH took it from me and ate it first. haha.. alrighty then! divvi
I think I saw my DH's first encounter with "the man in the mirror" last night. One wall in our dining room is completely mirrored, and he was walking through the room without the lights on. I went to see where he was, and found him pressed up against the mirror, talking calmly and softly to the reflection. When I turned the lights on, he moved away, and I asked him whom he then saw, and he replied "us". First time I ever saw this happen, but I'm glad he didn't seem upset by it. (I'm pretty sure it was the first time because he made a lot of fingerprints, which I haven't seen before.)
thank goodness my DH never was angry at the man in the mirror but smiled alot and still today will smile at himself if he sees a reflection. i always found it charming but he was oblivious to the fact it was his own image -he seemed overjoyed when i showed up in the mirror next to the man. it was a party then. we'd spend time talking to all of them and saying goodnight every nite on our way to bed. i miss that now hes bedbound. sigh.. i dont see any harm as long as they arent afraid or cause a rukus like some here have said thier spouse does. just try to make sure you make it a pleasant experience if you catch him doing it-
We also have a full length mirror in the hall and my husband often stands and has a long conversation with the guy in the mirror. Sometimes he has a great laugh and I have said to him" that guy in the mirror is really funny" to which he laughs all the more. At times he seems to think it's his brother who resembles him a lot. If I happen to come by he usually stops. He hardly talks the rest of the time so I like him having these conversations. If I ask him to look at himself in the mirror to see how nice his clothes look, he stands there looking but not seeing what I'm telling him.
I glance in the mirror as I go by And suddenly I stop, Who is that person so filled with Sadness looking so harried. She can’t be me!!
I have long, streaked, blonde hair, With clear, unlined skin. Athletic of build, lean from playing Golf with my dear sweetheart and walking our three Miles a day.
But this person is old, wrinkled of skin, hunched Over and overweight. I look again, Yes, that’s me, But a distorted me, Looking older than my age.
In the six years of this journey with My loved one, I have grown old and worn. But as I see the ravages of my Caregiving, I know that I would have done the Same, Even though the result is a toll on My body and emotions, For life is not physical beauty but rather Love which comes from God.
Love for my other half will conquer All that this disease does to us, Even to the loss in my physical body. For God is Love, And Love conquers all
I wrote this one day after looking in the mirror and reallly seeing me!!!
The Mirror is the enemy here. Several weeks ago I covered the large one in his bathroom. He just moves to another one and spends time. I would not mind if they were happy conversations but most of his are not. For days now he is mad because the man claims he owes him money. Then yesterday I found him at my dressing table brushing his teeth and dripping toothpaste on the carpet. He does not like his mirror covered because he can't see to shave and brush his teeth. So the covering came down because the only thing he still does is shave and brush his teeth so he can get his stick of gum.
Iggy, If my DH starts that, I think I'll get a large mirror and put it on the kitchen table and sit him down and let him talk to himself..He can't stand for long periods of time either. Then I would call the doctors to see what can be done if anything.
I talk to myself too sometimes...I need some adult to talk to and when it is just the two of us and DH is not up to or interested in chat...well there is the talk radio I talk back to.
Joyful*, Your poem reminded me of how the President looks after his term in office is up..he looks tired and pretty beat up. Then give him a few months of rest and freedoms from the stresses of is role in life and he starts to look years younger.. Maybe for us too, when this hard and sad journey is done, we too, if we make it that far, will also hope to look better once we get some rest.
Lloyd likes they guy in the mirrors. He says it is his brother. He can see him when we sit at the DR table because the curio cabinet has a mirrored back. He also sees him in the armoire and dresser mirror in our bedroom. I personally don't care. If it amuses him, all the better! On occasion I will tell him that he is not allowed to play with that person in the mirror and on good days, he just laughs. I just don't see it as being harmful. How nice that they still like that person in the mirror.