"Help! Help! Is there a doctor in the house? I mean boat... I mean ship...."
A distinguished-looking fellow who had been giving a media interview on the quarterdeck pushed through the crowd and said, "Stand back! I'm a retired doctor, and I can see right away that what is needed is...."
Shanteuse was the first to reach Elvis. With bulging muscles - she's a caretaker - she applied the Heimlich manouevre and out popped a no-bake chocolate cookie. "Ol Don!" she said. "His specialty, and Elvis couldn't resist gulping it down." Colonel Parker perked up. "Maybe we could make a commercial out of that, and Elvis can sing it. I'm thinking a little, "My Mama done tol me" sort of blues. I'd like to use an alto sax in there, too. Who will I get to write the lyrics? Is Costello free? Phranque, lend me your cellphone. Mine was repossessed. Okay, if you're going to be that way about it -so I didn't return it the last time you lent me one. Anyone got a cell phone? I said, anyone lend me a cellphone?"
"Cellphones don't work out here in the middle of the ocean, Colonel," boomed Phranque in his deep, manly voice. "You're going to have to step into the radio room to make a ship-to-shore call. Just go over there to the ladder... WATCH OUT ! ! ! "
Too late. In his haste to make his call, Colonel Parker stepped in front of the stretcher on which Elvis was being transported to sick bay. Parker was knocked off balance, and fell into the shark pool! The horrified onlookers gasped and shrieked, expecting to see a horrible spectacle. To their surprise, Parker was untouched by the vicious animals. Swimming to the side of the pool, he patted the nearest shark on the nose, and climbed up the ladder unscathed.
"Why didn't they eat you?" asked one of the Marys. "Professional courtesy," smirked the Colonel, as he rushed off to make his call. But would his call go through? Suddenly, a vicious squall had appeared. They could see lightning flashes and even a funnel cloud moving rapidly toward the boat. And was that a very high wave rushing toward the ship?
It is! Tune in next week for our next episode - "Day of the Golden Gate" and learn the answers to these questions: How did Phranque smuggle a mermaid on board? Will she swim with the sea lions? Who jumped ship and swam to Alcratraz? Why? Is Elvis really still alive? What about Michael Jackson? Will Divvi continue a career as the Queen of Pop or will she return to her previous job as The Queen of P...?