Pip's kitty decides to take off through an open window and Pip dashes out after her. Before Peter know what is happening, Pip is out of sight! Pip chases the kitty for several blocks, and winded, stops to get her bearings and to see if she can still see the kitty. Around the corner walks a man holding kitty. He walks towards Pip. Pip starts smiling and begins walking forward as well. Imagine Pip's surprise when she recognizes........
(night all...I'll see how this turns out in the morning!)
Mary, if you're anything like me, you can't be held responsible for what happens if you are put upon before having that first cup of coffee. (-: He will forget you said it, and hopefully you will also. Give yourself a break, girlfriend.
Good grief. All I can say is, Mary, I hope you've learned your lesson about doing a Kitty. This is completely and totally your fault. (The other was the fault of the coffee. Maybe you should keep a coffee maker in the bedroom, set to start brewing just before you get up.)
"Roy! she cried. "Let me see your scratch marks from the tiger." Then she thought about Peter. Did he have scratch marks on his back from her kitty? She didn't hesitate, but thanking Roy for her cat, she turned and hurried back to Peter.
"Rats!" she cried out and winced with pain. At that, her kitty stopped with a screech and came back to her. "Now look what you made me do," said Pip. "Do you realize I have this fellow soul mate waiting for me back in his cabin. Not only that, he's gorgeous and has the hots for me." A car pulled up beside her. "Pardon me," said a man's voice through her agony. "Can I help you?" Pip pushed her wig out of her eyes.
The patrol car was barely visible in the fog but she clearly saw the shape of the hunky police officer as he hurried forward-shining his flashlight down into her face.."i thought i heard screaming, and wanted to make sure you are ok!" there's been sightings of a maniac on the lose and his name is Peter Pepper. she felt quite overwhelmed and fainted only to wake up *****************
Someone needs to get this tale together so Joan can sell it on her site. What shall we call it? It shows that the dementia spouses are just as nutty as "normal" folks
and fainted only to wake up to realize that Peter had said his last name was Salt. Was he playing mind games with her? Her? Why, she had the reddest hair in all the State of Arkansas. The Governor of Arkansas had written recently that she had even dreamed of Pip running with the wolves, her thick red hair blazing bright amongst the other beautiful wolves.
I'm going for a walk. I've got to find a way to get her back to Peter who has a fire lit in the fireplace and Mugsy Spanier playing, "I Ain't Gonna Give You Any of my Jelly Roll."
Bluedaze, last I heard, the Governor was a woman called something like D. Ivvi.
Meanwhile, back on the ranch:
...She woke to find herself being supported by the police office. "Lady," he said. "We've got to to get you home. Can you slide in the front seat? I'll drive you there." Pip leaned back on the leather seat of the cop car. There was an empty can of coke on the floor beneath her feet, and a strong smell of good cigars. She loved the masculine smell of cigars, especially the expensive kind. So masculine. "You take a right here," she said, "and then hang a left at the next corner." They were the directions to Peter's cabin, but Pip had to find out. Was he Peter Pepper or Peter Salt? And what exactly had he meant when he told her he had FTD? Could FTD possibly mean "Free to Donate?" Well, she would soon find out. She sat forward in anticipation.
Pip decided before becoming too intoxicated by Peter's charm, she would hire a private investigator. She had to know if his last name was Pepper or Salt. It was very disconcerting to say the least. Salt & Pepper could easily be confused and indeed he might be the maniac, regardless of his last name. She needed to get to the bottom of this. And fast. She was quickly getting emotionally involved and if it became physical, well. Women are blind once it becomes physical.
"Officer," she said. "Do you know the name of a good private investigator? I need one, fast." "Would I do?" asked the police officer. "I've had some experience." She looked at him more closely. He was hunky. And he had grey hair, as sleek as a wolf's. "Let's talk about," she said. Her kitten began to purr.
'I think you'll do nicely with your experience and your wolfish grin..:)she said. 'just the facts ma'am: " says the officer while coyly running his fingers thru this fine silvery hair. "OK, You say this guys name is "peter", ok, let me fill in the form, last name Salt, first name Peter..::)...i'll have to do some digging and see what i come up with.. in the meantime, lets"......
go to my apartment where you can tell me more about him." He drove right by Peter's cabin without even pausing. Pip suddenly realized she hadn't asked to see the officer's Identification!
"What's the cat's name?" the officer asked. "-------" said Pip. (Kitty, fill in name, please.) "Kittens do that," Pip said defensively. Maybe he was a dog man. "Officer," she said. "We'll go to the police station to look at pictures of this Peter Pepper. Not your apartment." She checked the front of the patrol car, looking for any of his identification.
"I had a cat once, says the officer, she also peed on my shoes, i think the vet says she has bladder stones -you should give her that pricey special diet food::)" Pip sticks her hand under the front seat feeling for for the cat, when she discovers something dreadful!------
"Officer," she said. "I need to get out of the car. "I think I'm going to throw up." "What's that on your hand?" he said. "Oh, dog poop. Yeah, I'm part of the dog squad. Sometimes they get a little nervous. Look, we're at the station now. Come in, and I"ll get you cleaned up and then you can look at the mugs shots we have of Peter Pepper." The station was noisy with telephones and fax machines. "Hi, Jerry," shouted an officer at the water dispenser. Jerry seated her a nearby table and spread out some photos before her. "Recognize anyone?" he asked. She absently minded took her wig off so that she could think more clearly. "Well," she said.........
"this one looks familiar..uh..except for that hairy mole on the nose." no, i dont think i recognise anyone else much. it was dark and i was quite excited" oh my gosh wait,! could peter salt and peter pepper be TWINS!????? holymoly. that mole on his nose brought it all back to me.. the officer set out to put out an APB on the missing twins, when Pip squeaked loudly- i'm bleeding! i'm shot! oh my gosh....and then.
"Actually, Peter Pepper the sex maniac looks a little like my ex-brother-in-law. He was married to my identical twin sister, Poppy, who also has red hair, but of course it didn't get burned in the fire because she wasn't there. . ."
What a dilemma - I can't go to bed here on the West Coast - (later than the rest of you who are already snoozing) and leave Pip shot and bleeding and now having to worry that her ex-brother-in-law may have reappeared as Peter Pepper, maniac and possible twin brother of Peter Salt. Okay, so here goes:
"Are you all right, Pip? May I call you Pip?" the officer said. All thoughts of putting out an APB on the missing twins vanished as he felt a stab of emotion that this lovely creature might be injured. "If you'll tell me your name," Pip said shyly. She felt embarrassed. The blood was only from a scab that Squeak had caused when she had playfully nipped Pip. And the sound of the gun? Oh, dear, She had farted. Sometimes that happened. Especially now that she was in the menopause. "It's George Paul," he said. "I'll probably get the promotion I've been waiting for, now that you've helped me solve this case. May I take you out for dinner tomorrow night to celebrate?" Fade out. Soft music. Smell of Jasmine (depending on sophistication of theatre).
The officer forgot to help her get cleaned up. Now, here she sat with dog/cat poop on her hand and her hair lying on the table. Just take me home, she cried and let me get ready for our date tomorrow night at the theatre with the smell of Jasmine. Then the officer said.....
When the alarm sounded for the third time, Pip roused from her deep sleep…she was going to be very late for work. Hastily showering and dressing, the thought kept nagging at the back of her mind that there was something important that she should remember, but, what was it?
Grabbing coffee and a strawberry jelly donut covered with mounds of gooey chocolate frosting, she rushed out the door. Traffic was light. Rushing up the stairs to her office, she bumped into a stranger sending her purse flying. As he bent over to pick it up, she thought that there was something about that stranger that was strangely familiar…perhaps his Paul Newman good looks with his salt and pepper hair. Handing her the purse, he said, “Hi, my name is…..
"George Paul. From last night. The police station." 'Then why did one of your fellow officers call you Jerry? And you even told me your name was Jerry. Then you switched it to George Paul." "Yeah, well. You told me in the cruiser that you liked George Clooney and Paul Newman, and I guess I was just trying to impress you." Impress me? Is that what you were trying to do? As if the dog poop wasn't enough." "Oh, you're so cute when you're mad. It goes with your red hair." 'Never mind that." "And today you're wearing pink. I like pink on a redhead. But I liked you in purple last night, too." "This change of names. It bothered me all last night, when I should have been sleeping. Jerry. George Paul. Peter Pepper. Peter Salt." "We picked up Peter Pepper last night, but he's claiming that you came on to him, and what was he to do?"
divvi, I'm glad you finally ended this thing. We're a pitiful bunch. You can tell we don't get out much and we're starved for excitement. We have a warped sense of what excitement is, though.
I am sad it ended. :( I need some more laughter in my life and this thread was hilarious. There is alot of imagination in this group. I think we need one of these stories daily.