I was so proud of myself yesterday about donating the car for our tything for 2 years. I am expecting a call at any time regarding a certified valuation of the car for tax purposes.
I have sold our stock and set up annuities. One was a joint accouont. The broker advised me that since DH has AD, I should have all of that joint account transferred to my name only. Did that. He signed the papers. He didn't even want to print his name afterwards. He told me to go ahead and do it.
Everything is in my name except the house. I really feel bad about this. Can't really tell you why. I know financially it is a good idea but I'm feeling really guilty. Like I'm cheating him or being dishonest or something.
Has anyone else felt this way or am I being weird?
Could it be that it makes it a little more real regarding his disease and the outcome? Putting everything in your name is validating that one chapter of your life, a very big chapter, is changing course. Your reality is changing in a way you are not ready to move to.
Know you are doing what needs to be done to protect what the two of you worked for years to build - you are not cheating him or being dishonest. You are protecting him and you.
Mawzy - I felt the same way. I understood that all of that needed to be done but emotionally it was a huge symbol of his decline for me to deal with. It took me a long time to realize that it was moving from "ours" to "mine" that I had the problem with. We had built it up, we had made it. I got past that but I don't think I would really say I am "over" it.
Mawzy, I haven't done any of that yet, but I fully understand how you feel. You know you are doing the right thing, but still it just doesn't feel right. At this point I've just made sure that everything that can have me either as a beneficiary or as joint tenant with right of survivorship (all the bank accounts were set up that way as a standard bank practice).
It is just one more thing that has to be done and it hurts.
I agree with Charlotte, that the 'we' goes to 'me' is validation of the fact that faces us =which is evidence that in the end this is a terminal disease. starting that process only exacerbates the thought. divvi
I transferred the house to my name about a year ago; moved about half of the Fidelity accounts shortly thereafter. He didn't care, but it did feel weird. OTOH, for many years a lot of things were in HIS name only and I accepted that!
My mom gave me the New Yorker as a present when I was in high school and I have kept up my subscription ever since (since the early '50s). When we married and moved somehow the name on the label got changed to his, and subscriptions are always hard to change that way, although it was always MY magazine. And I STILL, to this day, get annoyed to see the renewals coming to HIM!
Love it, Starling. Once upon a time in the late 60s when there really were very good articles in them, I subscribed to Playboy for a year, in part because the boys were getting old enough to be curious and I thought they might learn a bit. Sixties, remember. They never sent me one renewal letter, just let it expire at the end of the year, presumably because I was female.
Playboy...Now that reminds me of something that happened when "Son" was around six. He had been playing with the child across the street. When he came home he told me that his friend had gotten some magazines from under his dad's bed and that they had pictures of naked women in them. He was a little bit upset and I thought what am I going to tell this child. I didn't want to make a big deal about it so I said "wasn't that a silly way to have your picture made." Satisfied him and I patted myself on the back.