How do you decide if your loved one really has a headache, stomache ache, sore throat, whatever. After Christmas my DH started complaining of a constant headache. MRI showed nothing; migraine meds did nothing; tried sinus treatment. That seemed to help but he still complains at least twice a week. Last Tuesday he swallowed a much too large piece of soft burrito. He started to choke, but recovered before I could react and it went down. Then he started complaining about sore throat. Tried to convince him he scratched or irrated throat. Nothing. About 1AM he sounded like he had to throw up; voice was raspy; constantly clearing throat. Decided maybe something really was caught; visited ER. They said irrated throat; use spray and lozenges; should be better in 2 days. 5 days later he is still complaining. Have Dr. appointment tomorrow morning. Luckily our Dr. recognizes how obsessive he can be. But how do I know when it is real. And the constant complaining is making me a wreck. Anyway else have this problem?
My Dh still functions extremely well but he does complain of EVERYTHING at one time or another. At first, I would try to give him something for whatever it was. But every day or so it would be something different that hurt. He knows he has ALZ and we discuss it a lot and he usually goes along with what I suggest. So I started telling him it was just part of the disease and that it would go away. Well..it always does. He was getting cramps in hands, arms and legs. I gave him 6 oz. of tonic water for two nights - they went away and have never returned. Doctors were unable to find anything wrong when we went to the doctor for a particular problem. But it seems he always has something to complain about - hurting somewhere. So far, I have been able to alleviate his worries by telling him it will go away, that it is just part of the disease. Of course, this wouldn't work for a person who doesn't think anything is wrong with them.
The constant complaining is a pain I know. Good luck.
Logic would suggest four reasons: 1) they really do have the pain 2) because their memories are messed up, they are remembering a previous pain, not a current one 3) like an amputee - phantom pain caused from a connection messed up 4) like a child they will complain just for attention. Personally, once real is ruled out, I lean towards 2.
I haven't gotten anywhere near that, but I remember when my kids would pull it just for attention and how exhausting it was. An adult has to be even more draining.
I think I lean toward 4. Mine moans and groans constantly when getting up. Terrific headache. Or sore shoulder. I start humming along with his moan. Moan, moan Moan moan. Yo ho HEAVE Ho, Yo ho HEAVE ho. Sometimes I give him an ibuprofen. Mostly diversion of whatever kind helps. After years of the complaining, I pretty much ignore it most of the time.
Charlotte, Indeed childlike, doesn't want to wash his hands before meals, doesn't want to flush the toilet, doesn't want to shower, doesn't want to brush his teeth, doesn't want to change from PJ's, put's his underwear on backwards, makes faces at himself in the mirror, just to name a few all things that my two sons did when they were ages 5-9.
My DH complains of all sorts of things. Can't go the bathroom, a buzzing noise in his ears, blood on his hanky when he blows his nose (a couple of spots). Today he said he hasn't had the buzzing in his ears for a couple of days so I assume he is missing it. lol. There are other complaints most of them are piddly! Jean
My DH also has the buzzing noise in his head. It was one of his first symptoms. I have to say, as a migraine sufferer, I empathize. The only thing that helps me is medication. I would have to think if your brain is deteriorating, it would cause some sort of physical symptoms. I think that they may complain more about illnesses because they have a harder time getting fully engaged in activities e.g. playing a game, reading a book, that distract them.
My DH has had tinnitus for years so I don't think it has become better. He complains of back pain from the stenosis and I know he is having that pain. He is on around the clock pain meds but he doesn't get any in the night, so that is the first thing he asks for when he gets up mornings. I think is logical that they do have pain but the nurse told me they may not know where it hurts.
I have pain through my ears and jaw from TMJ and take pain meds for it. You couldn't tell I had pain just looking at me.
My Mom, near death, denied being in pain and the Nurse said she might not know she did and encourages pain meds.
DH couldn't identify that his pain was from an overfilled bladder. He kept saying he was constipated yet I had to do alot of bathroom duty with him so I know it wasn't that. Of course the two systems are so close together (roll eyes), so I give him that. But it is oh so true that the brain and/or the mouth do not accurately verbalize where the pain is.
What drives me insane is this: I'm 73, I have some arthritis in my knees. Go down to the basement for almost daily laundry duty, up stairs frequently during the day to get his cane, which he's left behind, or something I need... So occasionally I'll go Annh! (I try not to take nsaids or anything when I'm around the house, they don't agree with me too well). What's the matter, he says. Oh, my knees hurt. And then he says, oh, I know what you mean, my knees are killing me.
THis is not new with AZ. He had sympathetic pain when I was in labor. He has gone into serious decline whenever we had to move, so I had to be the one packing up the books, china, etc. AND tending to him. But it drives me insane!!!
That sounds interesting. I'm seeing my PCP this week - my familial/essential tremor is acting up and I need to find something new to treat it so I'll ask him about that. I can't walk across the kitchen carrying a few plates without them rattling like mad. And I can't eat soup without holding the bowl right up to my face, my hand trembles too much. I also use the capasicin rub-on for my knees. If I really hurt, I use meds. But just an occasional owww! doesn't need treating.
briegull and bluedaze, I have Voltaren Gel, but the rheumatologist cautioned me that they don't know how much is absorbed into the blood stream and to use it sparingly. I've found my GI tract less irritated by whatever amount I may absorb by using the gel, as compared to the oral route of Votaren. Here's what works for me (I have Ankylosing Spondilitis, a form of rheumatoid arthritis, plus osteoarthritis): I use the oral NSAID when pain is bad but not more than for 4 days. I find that taking the dose with supper is least irritating (a tip I picked up from John Hopkins Newsletter, "Health after Fifty"). Most days I use Tylenol, never more than 4 Grams usually keep it at 3 Grams or below. Some days I take Emtec, which is Tylenol with Codeine. My rational is that since NSAID is hard on the stomach, bowel and liver, and Tylenol hard on the kidneys, I'll give all systems a periodic break. (I believe we have at least one doctor on this forum, and they may not agree with my approach, but it works for me.)
bluedaze, is the Voltaren Gel better than capasicin rub-on for pain relief? It would really help with stomach upset if DH didn't have to take NASIDS by mouth. I don't have to guess whether his pain is real or not. He has spinal stenosis and very bad arthritis.
briegull, my Mom had familial/essential tremor. She would hold her fork/spoon in her right hand and take hold of her wrist with her left hand to hold the right one steady. One time we got ice-cream at the mall. Her hand shook so hard the ice-cream popped right out of the cone onto the floor. This condition was very embarrasing for her. I would be interested to know if there is anything new to treat it.
Dazed-Voltaren Gel is for joint pain-probably wouldn't help much with the pain from spinal stenosis. It comes with a ruler to measure the amount to be used. Hips and knees require twice as much as upper extremity pain. Capsasin works by blocking pain transmitters, nsaids are anti inflamatories. Best to get medical advise as you will need a prescription. It really works for me.
Thanks, bluedaze. I don't think anything helps much with the spinal stenosis but I was thinking the Voltaren Gel might help the arthritis in his shoulder and knees. I will ask his PCP about it.
DH had his Dr. appointment today. He tried to convince hubby that it could take 2 weeks for a scraped throat to heal. We are to call back Wed. and if still hurting he will send us to an endo dr. As we left the room, under his breath my hubby said, "Well, he didn't do anything." Our Dr. burst out laughing. So I have to tell him every 30 min or so, we will talk to the Dr. again Fri. Long week ahead.